feowyn profile picture

feowyn

And thats Non- Dairy Creamer!

About Me

My life is a series of bad Christmas’s Each year getting worse Full of vacant beds and trips to urgent care With 12 drunken Santa’s one-by-one stepping on scales Proving that even they are obese All of us weighing the bad with the good The lost with the good The ugly with the good 11 Christmas cards reading “God bless your broken home” 10 of them from families that think they are better than us yes, we do have a broken family with a father who steals presents and wants happiness for no one a father who wants to kidnap us and move us 9 states away then there are the resenting elders who whisper that I’ve ruined Christmas and the dead grandparents held above our heads in the form of 8 Christmas stocking above the fire place Long early days spent making Christmas dinner Frozen Christmas dinner While out mother spends her evenings alone in a white carved room With a pain somewhere It doesn’t matter where It’s somewhere 7 of my mother’s friends convening in our house the smell of gold, myrrh, and cannabis leaking from behind the basement door just like the very first Christmas of course The secret of x-con parents with 6 felonies to hide from a world that already knows Then there’s me The savior reincarnated in a chubby girl Who cries on her birthday and can’t sleep with the light on With 5 other things I’d rather be doing on Christmas 4 reasons my mother is no sacred virgin 3 wives before her 2 of the wise men missing And that damn partridge in a pear tree.

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My Interests

writing, punk rock music, soul music, making fun of people, hating people, mallrats, movies, queer eye for the straight guy, cleveland, CSU, Cleveland School of the Arts, sledding, sluts, Cleveland State, microwave ovens, spelling words the french way, concerts, guys from ohio who think they are southern rockers, sesame street, futons, hott with two "t"s, speakers, livejournal, collages, clothes that fit, t-shirts that say bad words, big time tools, puppets, dance moves, R&B, Hip-hop, non-dairy creamer, cookies and milk but not with milk, big beds, shoes that dont hurt, orange glow, televangilism, awesome-ism, adding "ism" to the end of words, adding "tastic" to the ends of words, world peace- naw just kddin, lipton lemon iced tea, coca-cola, aerodynamics, boys Take this quiz anyway and find out who you would be if you were me!:
You Are: Awesome Feowyn, who could totally kick
your ass. You don't like anyone, and you don't
care that nobody likes you. Like like going to
concerts and making fun of people and fighting
with girls in parking lots, and your hero is
Iggy Pop!

Which Feowyn Are you
brought to you by Quizilla

Music:

Bellrays, bikini kill, chargers, the dirtbombs, fugazi, get hip, greenday, iggy and the stooges, jawbreaker, joan jett, johnny cash, lord high fixers, madonna, minor threat, monica lewinsky, mooney suzuki, new bomb turks, non-dairy creamer, not emo bands, now time delegation, patti smith, rolling stones, selby tigers, shelia nicholls, sifl and olly, sleater-kinney, snoop dogg, the bangs, the bellrays, the chargers street gang, the new bomb turks, the pouges, the stooges, turbonegro, Dead Moon, Lungfish, In The Red Records, reigning sound, velvet underground, the kinks, this moment in black history, lives of the saints, mudhoney, tough and lovely, the vista cruisers, rocket from the crypt, The Donnas, weezer, Neil Blender, Elvis Costello, Michael Jackson, Detroit Cobras, boris the sprinkler, ace and the ragers, jawbreaker, outkast, gossip, otis redding, james brown, eddie floyd, betty wright, sam cooke, sam and dave, public enemy, the shake appeal, collinwood soul group, pansy division, gravy train, your band probably sucks

Movies:

holes, camp, Mallrats, Clerks, Dogma, The full monty, sister act 2, bring it on, oceans eleven, full metal jacket, cool hand luke, heathers, fame, center stage, bad news bears, revenge of the nerds, napoleon dynamite, love actually, the good girl, this boys life, about a boy, kids, adams highschool project about porn, destinos, thriller (full length video), welcome to the dollhouse, one night in paris, garden state, to wong fu thanks for everything julie newmar, pam and tommy sex tape, spinal tap

Television:

american idol, conan o'brian, doggy fizzle televizzle, er, general hospital, kids in the hall, mad about you, pepperanne, recess, roseanne, saturday night live, saved by the bell, spade in america, teenage mutant ninja turtles, queer eye for the straight guy, zach morris, best week ever, andy milonokis, viva la bam, home shopping network, infomercials, gilmore girls, golden girls, lost, desperate housewives, adelphia cable access channel 15, I love the 80's, I love the 90s, anythign i can tivo

Books:

Through the windshield, whiskey Island, Virgin Suicides, Lucky, this boys life, dubliners, invisible man, rubyfruit jungle, deenie, Pink, A heartbreaking work of staggering genius, wrestling with D.H.Lawrence, Life Stories, Lucky, the catcher in the rye, franny and zooey, manchild in the promised land, haunted, the boys of my youth, the things they carried, family, on writing, eva luna stories, alice in wonderland, in short, shattered hours

Heroes:

(Lisa Kekaula watching ME perform!!!!)

My Blog

Nothing is hot enough to make your teeth sweat, nothing!

I had my teeth removed the other day, all of them. My mouth is empty now. The thing that gets me is I feel like something is caught in my teeth, which is impossible because there are no teeth for catc...
Posted by feowyn on Thu, 28 Sep 2006 12:19:00 PST

Jay leno enjoys arby's.

I think I just saw jay leno in the drive thru at arbys. He was in a civic hybrid with a california license plate that said "Chin Man" on it. I didn't see his face, but I saw gray salt and pepper ...
Posted by feowyn on Sun, 18 Jun 2006 09:28:00 PST

Jews, Zombies, and Triangle players

Why we have not discussed this in the past is a great mystery to me. I dont like pizza, I always think I do because on televion it looks delicious, particularly in cartoons- like ninja turtles- but t...
Posted by feowyn on Fri, 14 Apr 2006 07:49:00 PST

Congratulations! You have Herpes!

If you are in my Top 8, you might have herpes, or I atleast love you enough to want to give you herpes... c'mon kids, find out why you have (or have not) made my Top 8! 1. Collinwood Soul Group is obv...
Posted by feowyn on Sat, 05 Nov 2005 08:31:00 PST

You got blog in my eye!

Who will do it? Fill it out or sumthing:1. Who are you?2. Are we friends?3. WHen and how did we meet?4. How have I affected you?5.  What do you think of me?6. What's the fondest memory you have ...
Posted by feowyn on Sat, 17 Sep 2005 02:40:00 PST

Did you know my band is blowing up?

Im in a band. Yes, I tried to hide it from you (myspace) for as long as possible, but I'm thinking its time to come clean. Its true myspace, Im in a band, I sing. We have some guitars and some drums,...
Posted by feowyn on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST

Fuck it, Im a myspace hater, i'll admit it!

I just called some dude I don't know a racist. Thats not the only shit I'll pull. Yesterday I wrote a fucking thesis abuot why I hated bitches in high school. A few days before that I built an interne...
Posted by feowyn on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST

Whats did you just caLL ME....

A few of you know me as feowyn, and we are probably friends, or maybe not, I guess it doesnt matter because you know me by my first name and thats cool. The rest of you, well you know me as that fat g...
Posted by feowyn on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST

Why am I a crazy bitch?

Yeah, I'm a crazy bitch, not the crazy bitch that you think you are. Im not the crazy bitch who is gonna get crunk in a mcdonalds parking lot, flip my shoe off, throw it at your face, and rip out your...
Posted by feowyn on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST

Stupid Fucking Blogs

The time is wrong on this Motha Fucker, but thats okay. I thuoght I would post to tell you I dont fucking post, well not here at least, I have a livejournal. I could copy and paste everytime I post th...
Posted by feowyn on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST