Explaining Our Ridiculous Name
exacerbate verb - 1. to make (pain, disease, anger etc) worse.
2. to irritate (a person).
masturbate verb - to pleasure yourself sexually.
Exasturbate verb - 1. to pleasure yourself sexually by making pain, disease, anger etc worse.
2. to irritate (a person) by pleasuring yourself sexually.
3. to pleasure youself sexually by making poor quality music which makes disease, pain, anger etc worse.
The Story So Far
Once there was a young man who dreamed that he could smoke weed every day and never have to get a job. That young man was Nick, that dream is now Exasturbate and that young man is now James.
"Not long after I turned 16 I started learning a few riffs on the guitar and it quickly became apparent that I was on my way to true undeniable shitness, but i needed to find another musician as lazy and untalented as I was. I found out that an old friend of mine, Reilly Borg, had started to play bass and as far as lazy and untalented goes the only person who could compare to me is Reilly. We started jamming together but we knew that something was missing, it sounded terrible but there was potential for it to be much worse"
so Nick gave up on the band, deciding it would be easier to just get high. He went to the local crack den, Mike's house, looking to score some drugs in exchange for sexual favours. He didn't find any drugs, but what he did find was a young man with a greater lack of natural musical talent than any he'd ever seen before.
"James was sitting on the couch stoned trying to play the solo from that System song, you know the 'sweet danny and lisa' one, and immediately I knew that we had found our second guitarist"
James was so incredibely shit that Nick and Reilly actually had to make him practice a little bit and get slightly less shit, but make no mistake that James and Nick now make up the worst guitar duo in all of north-east Taranaki.
The search is now on for a singer and drummer that can match the ear shredding uselessness of the original 3 members. No one knows how far Exasturbate will go, Onaero, Urenui, maybe even all the way to the Pukearuhe hall, but this at least is certain - There isn't, never has been and never will be another band quite this horrifyingly bad.
The Music
We don't have a singer yet so the music doesnt sound like very much at all but we're looking to fuse the technicality of Malmsteen and DragonForce with the speed of Bodom and DragonForce and all the catchiness of Iron Maiden and DragonForce, complex song strugtures influenced by Opeth and DragonForce, all the heaviness of Morbid Angel and DragonForce, the hatred and determination of Slayer and DragonForce, the powerful riffs of Sabbath and DragonForce, the innovation and showmanship of Hendrix and DragonForce and lyrical nonsensicality not seen since System of a Down and DragonForce. This will create a sound as unique as it is unlistenable, and trust me that's pretty fucking unique.
The Logo SucksThat's just a quick one I came up with using WordArt so we've got something to use, our real one will be much more hardcore and tough looking.
It has to be to make up for our flamboyant and gay looking guitarist (me).
Reilly's bebo
Reilly is a sellout mainstream pop culture junkie with a bebo page so go to http://www.totherats.bebo.com and abuse him appropriately and please ignore the fact that I also have a bebo page
BULLSHIT!
Drugs were Jimi's inspiration not his undoing
Which Guitar Player Are You?
