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IF YE BE AFRAID O' METAL... READ ON AT YOUR PERIL...
* The origin of MINCE!In the beginning there was Shite! Then, from the unholy doorstep of Captain Birdseyes grandma came a bolt of dark lightning so black that God cried a tear of milk and formed the White sea. Out of this sea crawled five black assassins of Rock that bore the name MINCE!........ Clad only in the unholy armour of Gorgothamong the ruler of the Metalvoid, they travelled the Mortalverse in search of the powerstone of Dominoth so they could forge the black instruments and create the living form of sound we now know as Metal! Each of them were granted a power to uphold the seething black darkness of Rock and granted names of such unspeakable foulness that old women would fall to their knees and eat worms at the mere mention of them. Beware humans, for I am about to reveal the names and reading further could make your eyes bleed gravy..................ZIP HAVOC: Blessed with the vocal range of a thousand walrus's. His voice soars like an eagle then divebombs screaming furious black death like a giant napalm attack on a field of pigs..............RIFF RICKENBACKER: Plays his foul bass like a Howitzer. Destroying all before him in such acts of evil rumbling that hippos have been known to stop existing a thousand miles away..............HOONO DUFFELCOAT: Screeching his poison guitar riffs menacingly into your brain at a terrible price..... Your very Soul!!!............STEEV PAI: His vicious seering guitar licks have been known to bring pestilence to all nations that begin with the letter M................TREVOR HOON: His thunderous explosion of drums and pans can only be witnessed by the souls of evil pirates hanged for licking the salt of a lepers sweaty back...............They are here..... You have been warned!..........*
DOMINUS NOMINUS ABOMINUS
MINCE are after your metal souls!!!!
* * * *ALBUM HISTORY:............ WELCOME TO THE CHURCH OF METAL E.P.:- Welcome/Mince Pie (Pie Of The Night), Horrornation Street (Curly Watts Mix), Big Chief Metal, Spandex Warrior (Talcum Mix), Fish For Me Tea (Craddock Mix).......... THE HORROR HOUSE OF HAMMERS:- Horrornation Street, Jack The Riffer, Noshferatu, Crappus Demonicae, Sasquatch, Satan Claws, Through Hell And High Slaughter, Grave-y Stains, Highway Avenger........... POSEIDONS TRIDENT:- Fish For Me Tea, Shark Attack, Davey Jones' Rocker, Shiver Me Timbers, Trout Of Your Depth, Chemi-Krill, Armour Of Cod, Battle Nosed Dolphin............ FROM THE MOUNTAINS OF METAL:- Land Of Leather, Spandex Warrior, Hot Metal Metal Hot, Medi-Evil, Wolf Of Metal, Skreeee Of The Eagles, Party Boyz, The Horn Of Hobnoblin, Warlords Of Rock........... ROCK YOUR WAGON E.P.:- Big Chief Metal, High Hoon, Beast Of Beans. MINCE released their GREATEST HITS album ZIP HAVOCS ROCKTASTIC METAL BAND in 1999 just before Y2K would destroy the world which of course it didn't and MINCE were a bit embarrased by the whole thing. * * MINCE PIE (pie of the night), HORRORNATION STREET, NOSHFERATU, CRAPPUS DEMONICAE, 745 (the number of the bus), WOLF OF METAL. * *
HAVOC I (THORSDAY NIGHT'S ALRIGHT!):- War Lass, Valhella, Norse Code, Waaaah Bisto, Unleash The Beast It's Time To Feast, Pain Pipes, Meat Your Maker, Something Wicker This Way Comes......... HAVOC II (THE FIVE FACES OF ROCK-FU):- Miyagi Trousers, Tekken The Piss, Samurai Am I, Mulletproof Monk, Crouching Pasty Hidden Meat, Chong Nak, Legend Of The Seven Glowing Fingers Of Spam, Metal Snail Vs Rock Otter....... STEEV PAI (MINCE THE MERCILESS E.P.):- For The Love Of Cod, Dive Hawkmen Dive (Gordon's Alive), Opus In D Minor Part 1 "The Soothsayer Of Shields"......... RIFF RICKENBACKER (STORMING THE CASTLE- LIVE):- Intro- Stormer! (45 min bass solo), Trojan Badger, The Peasants Are Revolting, Buttering Ram, ThunderSiege, Release The Peregrines, Normans!, 10,000 Horses of Death........ HOONO DUFFELCOAT (7 NIGHTS OF METAL):- Fretenstein, Pyramid Of Chops, Pickety Witch, Faster Than The Speed Of Rock, 21 String Salute, Shred-dead Wheat, My Dear Old Whammy, Arise Sir Wah-A-Lot.......... TREVOR HOON (DUNGEON OF DRUMS):- Hound Pounder, Fearache, Gut Rumble, Snaredy Cat, Odins Clap, 500 M.P.H. (Miles Per Hoon), Disasteroid (36 min drum solo), Hoonatic, Apocalypso (Featuring The North East Jarrow Steel Band)......... *
VIDEOS
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NOW PREPARE YOURSELVES FOR THE MIGHTY METAL VIDEOS!!!! (BY Digital Trev). *
ALL HAIL DIGITAL TREV
* .. width="425" height="350" .. * Mince Pie (pie of the night)
* .. width="425" height="350" .. * Spandex Warrior
* .. width="425" height="350" .. * Fish For Me Tea
* .. width="425" height="350" .. * Here it is.... the greatest Native American British Heavy Metal Song Ever Written About The Plight Of The Red Man Vs The White Man In Wild West Days Of Old.... All these Albums, Songs and Videos are dedicated to the MINCE VIXENS:- Judith Priest, Irene Maiden, Deb Leppard, Alison Chains.... *