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The Story of Da Oostin Boyeez
What can be said about the legendary Da Oostin Boyeez that has not been said by countless others? (do not read unless you are old enough to buy drink and tabs from the shop)
It began with 3 ordinary people, back then known as Ronald Michael Christopher Donalds, Frank Tee and Billy Crystal, back then just a few village idiots. Little did they know that they were about to embark on a mystical journey to make them into the worlds biggest village idiots!
In the Oostin branch of Woolmembers (now knows as the ranch), where the young MC Donalds worked as a barman. The queen mother was playing her usual friday night set of replacement hip hop when Donalds decided he could do better himself and started rapping over her. The tramps sitting at the bar, who would eventually become MC 2 Fresh and DJ D-Lux, began spitting some rhymes with Donalds, and it was the greatest thing the ranch had ever witnessed.
This was the Beginning of DOB.
Donalds, 2 Fresh and D-Lux had many ideas for the direction in which DOB should go. Donalds favoured Drum and Bass, 2 Fresh wanted to go for Hip Hop, and D-Lux preferred Romanian folk music. They combined all of their ideas and dissapeared into their shack for 6 months. The product of their mind piss was 1996's "Mit da Queen Mutter", Which included a very early cut of their famous single "Good Shitizen". However, DOB began to grow bored of their shack, and wanted to tour, but they had no manager and had to resort to rapping in front of a mirror. DOB needed a manager.
Practices were arranged to include some new ideas. Other local rappers/drunks were invited to try out, namely Jean Jemange, Drunken "Turntables" Rootledge, Mixmaster T Bag and DJ Moist Conditioner. A gig was played the next week and Da Oostin Boyeez were spotted by Oostin Records Owner Otis Spunkmeyer who became their manager. Da Oostin Boyeez Toured successfully around the world and they were very successful until an argument on stage where the queen mother left DOB.
On the 22nd of July Otis Spunkmeyer notice two German DJs while watching a pornographic butter advert on RTL-2. He was loving their choons and immediately flew out to Germany to sign up Hans Petterson and Josep Jorg. Little did he know they were on the run from the law, and were almost caught by immigration officials while in Bortley, buying goods from a shop. They escaped and helped produce DOB's second album, 1997's "Mit Hans und Jorg"
It wasnt until 1999's "Ouch my Strapp?" EF that DOB really became famous. The song Ouch my Strapp? was written in tribute to a local rap artist Quaniel, who was shot in the eye during the Urpeth wars of 1998. It recieved high praise from the music industry and resulted in the EF going plastic within 2 weeks. As everyone knows, this album has now sold over 8 copies and has officially gone aluminium.
Since 1999, DOB have pretended to release some more albums, but have not written anything since 2004's "We are not animals". Sceptics say that DOB have never really existed, and its all just an act to take the piss out of Tom Neilmas. But recently, lights have been seen coming from DOB's shack, and mysterious cloaked figures, ornamental pipes hanging from their gobs, have been seen coming and going. Are DOB recording a new album? Who is this mysterious "Gaz Three" that has been heard on the radiogram? All will be revealed......
Leave a comment and ill do my best to comment you back. 2 Fresh
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