UNCLE HONKY $$$ pimping products for the man $$$

"well...What's really left to be said that ESPN , Sports Illustrated and every newspaper & TV show on the planet has'nt already said about me...I'm basically the Greatest B-Baller that's ever laced up a pair of kicks. Kareem , Jordan , Bird , Magic , Wilt , Pistol Pete , Dr.J...yeah those cats were'nt bad , but it took a 9 foot tall cracker from Nebraska to take this game to the next level. I arguably had my personal best season in 1998 when I averaged an astounding 3.1 points & half a rebound per game.Sadly I did'nt make the All Star Team that year , but I did make my presence felt that weekend when I bought Shawn Kemp a cheeseburger after he lost the Slam Dunk contest. I've pretty much saved this league just by sitting on the bench for the past 20 years.Usually I don't even get into a real game , unless we're up on the opposition by 35 or 40 points. Coach says I'm too valuable to start because I might blow one of my knees out shooting a free throw and the Laker's season would be over.I can dig that.I get paid either way and the crowd seems to like me.There's not too many 8 foot 11 inch caucasian players out there , so I kinda stick out like a sore thumb.Not to mention my Purple & Gold striped headband , James Worthy goggles , Star Trek sideburns & 70's porn stache.I see a lot of today's impressionable youth copying my very fresh style and it makes me realize that they should feel proud of themselves for picking such a fashionable role model like myself to emulate.Little things like that go a long way in the NBA , ya know. Lots of people out there worry that I'm gonna have to retire someday.They know that the state of Basketball will never fully recover when that happens.I can see myself playing another 20 years as long as they keep hiring totally foxy cheerleaders to dance around during TV time outs.Gives us bench players something to look at other than a Basketball game for 82 days a year , and that's not even counting the playoffs.Thank God we got PS2's & cable in the hotels , man.that's all I gotta say.It's a long season and a lot of hard work , but when I see a father buy his kid a $150 dollar replica jersey with my name on it , I know that I've made a difference."UNCLE HONKY Number 0
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