Lady Elaine

Well, as you can see, I have had some trauma in my life. It happened when I was smoking a Virginia Slim and sitting a bit too close to my mother's oxygen tank. Isn't it enough that I have had the unlucky lot in life to have to endure an unattractive LPGA hairstyle? So you can certainly understand my bitterness, n'est-ce pas? My life has been riddled with fleeting fame. That damn Fred and I never got any further than "being neighbors". Always keeping me at arms' length and telling me that it was only because he didn't want to mix business with pleasure. King Friday was really a queen, off-camera, so he was no help to me. That damn kitten used to scratch the shit out of me too. I did have a brief affair with Prince Tuesday,My God he was a tiger in the bedroom. We drifted apart, he said I was too old for him, can you believe that. Ah yes and my favortie saying "BOOMERANG,TOOMERANG,SOOMERANG". These words often invoked my occult powers. I spent a long time as the curator of the museum-go-round, oh the mischief I would cause. Well now I am a therapist. I give blunt advice. I speak my mind. So if you need an objective opinion and can handle the truth just ask Lady Elaine, I will give it to you straight.