An interview with Mbeanis N Alzin of the band Eight Legged Oedipus in which we discover secret desires, embarrassing moments, and a vacuum toothbrush. (Reproduced with permission from Indie Retard Magazine)
Indie Retard: How do you transport your equipment to the gig?
Mbeanis: I like to take a lot of snacks to a gig. That's why I usually have a basket full of goodies. I especially like rice crispy treats. They act as foam, so I can use rice crispy treats to surround fragile equipment like a laptop or a keyboard.
Have you ever paid for advertising for the band?
Mbeanis: I once paid a homeless guy to walk around Pasadena and pass out stickers and buttons. It was not a good experience. I should have just bought him the booze and left it alone. He really lied to me. I thought he was going to WORK for food like the sign said.
What makes you and your band unique?
Mbeanis: I think most people find it interesting that we write and record most of our records naked in the dark. Sometimes we'll all be over at somebody's studio, rocking out to some loops, and then my wife will walk in and turn the lights on and we're all there naked, looking like retards. But I think it's evident in the music, that when you hear the voices and arrangements you KNOW in your soul of souls that these people do not have clothes on.
Most people will never know what it feels like to be on stage in front of a crowd, explain to them that feeling:
Mbeanis: It's really not that much different from being in front of a classroom full of students, giving a presentation on the civil war, or some "invention" that you came up with. That's what great about middle school -- you can invent something that DOESN'T WORK and get rewarded for it. In 6th grade I "invented" a toothbrush that vacuums away the plaque. Basically I drew a picture of a toothbrush with a cord coming out of it. I almost got 3rd place!
How long does it take for an average song to go from a musical idea to a recordable song?
Mbeanis: A song is usually a song from the first time I lay vocals on it. The real question is "When is a song done?" The song is done when it sounds as good as anything on the radio. So most 8LO songs are never done.
Do you have a street or e-team system in place? Want one for your website?
Mbeanis: I would like an e-team. It would be like the A-team except on ecstacy. That would be so cool. Imagine Mr. T on E -- groping fools left and right. They could go to raves and sweat up t-shirts with the 8LO logo on it. Then in the energency room, when they're filmed for a 60 Minutes special on drug abuse, there's the T-shirt on national TV.
Name and describe your most memorable gig.
Mbeanis: I think the best gig so far was when I was at Twiggs or Lestats in San Diego and played an old Big Poo Generator song on the acoustic and totally ruined it. I was embarrassed and nearly cried on stage. But people were into it. I mean, come on, who wouldn't love to hear "I've Got Friends With Small Faces"? It's a forgotten classic!
Are there any established artists with whom you would like to collaborate?
Mbeanis: I really think it would be cool to have a celebrity torture album. Like just get some huge stars - Wayne Newton, Tony Bennet, Pavarotti, Toni Braxton, Prince, Madonna, Coldplay - and then just whip them and beat them and humiliate them. Then sample that and make songs out of each one. Or duets.
What is important to you about the music?
Mbeanis: Very little is really important about music. It's entertainment, but it's also a mnemonic part of our total life experience. I think it's important to have songs that are interesting, comforting and memorable, so that you can hear them over and over until you have that memorable moment with them. You know, like the song that was playing when you had your first kiss or you crossed the finish line or you invented the vacuum toothbrush.
What made you want to pursue songwriting?
Mbeanis: At only 3 weeks old I was circumsized against my will. A doctor took scissors and removed my foreskin. I have a suspicion that along with those nerves, the doctor also removed my ability to enjoy certain experiences firsthand. Some songs have a primal impact on me, where I'm frozen or lost in them. That's what I like. It makes me forget about my foreskin. I hope when you hear my songs you'll forget about your foreskin, too.
QUESTIONS FROM FRIENDS:
Laurie : If you could pick anyone to just spontaneously (and watch) blow up on stage, who would it be?
Mbeanis: Those of us with too much spare time and cable television may be familiar with this show called Puberty Celebrity Deathmatch where claymation caricatures fight gruesome, preposterous battles in a wrestling ring. It's very much like high school wrestling. Mmm. Girls wrestling. Aaaaah. What? Oh, I'm here still. OK. Best spontaneous combustion is going to depend on the events leading up to the explosion. I think it would be great if it's someone who's short, funny looking, angry, and is talking fast and loud all the time. So maybe Joe Pesci? No, better yet Don King - he looks like he's already exploding.
Mitch : What bands have made an impact on your music?
Mbeanis: I can't speak for the other members of the group here, but I'll say this -- sometimes when you hear a song, you LEARN a new way to listen to music. This for me, a total auditory paradigm shift, is why I am addicted to music. Are you ready for the fifteen second biography of embarrassing music epiphanies? No? Well tie your shoes and hurry up, everyone's waiting and it's about to begin... Age 5, Beastie Boys - Licensed to Ill "Holy crap I love to sing along to this nonsense", Age 11, Nirvana - Nevermind "Now there's a hooky martyr I can prepubescently identify with!" Age 13 Mr Bungle s/t "I'm hearing a cohesive psychotic soap opera while furiously channel surfing." Age 15 Aphex Twin - Richard D James album on a rich friend's surround sound "The aliens have abducted me and I am finally home" Age 16 Self - Subliminal Plastic Motives "How in the world can 12 great songs get better every time you listen to them? A depth of style as of yet unmatched" Age 18 Dr Octagon - Octagonecologyst "Demented, funky, surreal, absurd, conversational, wicked, subliminal" Age 19 Flaming Lips - Soft Bulletin "beautiful, quirky melodies across a thousand different acoustic spaces, like a bus ride through a Baron Munchausen birthday/funeral drama school scrapbook." Age 20 Animal 32 - live shows "Funky polyrhythmic improvisers form a 90s alternative rock band who simultaneously reinvent, eat and puke their own songs." Age 21 Amon Tobin - Supermodified "Suddenly I know what it feels like to be 100 feet tall and listening to virtuoso monoliths." Age 25 Quantic - An Announcement to Answer "I just felt time stand still while someone fucked my ear canal with a column of air. And I liked it"
Nathan Rogers : If you haven't already, would you consider making a band video?
Mbeanis: Would I? HELL yeah. But what kind of video? Maybe a Hollywood promo shoot, where we play the song in front of slow-motion screaming fans, and choreographed "actresses" wearing shards of lingirie rack up the SEX APPEAL points. Or maybe the "buzz" video, where a retard dances in front of the mirror and a webcam while he flosses a rainbow silk scarf through his digestive tract. Or there's always the "art" video option where we couch a 3 minute song in 4 minutes of dialogue and watch the daughter of abusive parents run around and vent her teenage angst in a myriad of ways before culminating in either a breakthrough moment or an affirmation of aloneness. Then there's a long silent shot of the band in high contrast head-gear doing our best emo pose. Maybe we even have some catchphrase like "daggers through my heart" tattooed across our lips. Anybody wanna do some pro bono film work?
Gabriel Self : Your songs are... niiiice! But what's with the toilet paper?
Mbeanis: That drawing of the toilet paper is actually a drawering. It's from my friend Yanbu's site and record label at 10eastern.com . I am no artist, but the site is sort of like a communal graffiti space... sort of like bus stops or playgrounds, drainage ditches, or public restrooms. You know... places where people write crude things like "FOR A GOOD TIME CALL JORDAN" and then some number that may or may not be made up. Who knows. I'd never call those things. I mean, if it's a real number, it's just going to be someone who's really pissed off. I'd rather prank call somebody who isn't expecting it, so I can get a few pleasantries out of them first. There's a little game you can play, too, where every 30 seconds you have to bring in a new shocking revelation... like 30 seconds "I have cancer", 60 seconds "I'm a felon", 90 seconds "I'm a Mormon", 120 seconds "She's still bleeding" or something like that. It also works well for class election speeches. Your mileage may vary. Oh, peep the Mbeanis Drawering Gallery .
Danny : What do you folks think / feel about stickers, and also what would be yall's personal favorite thing about stickers?
Mbeanis: OK OK OK. I've spent a decade building a collection of CDs that is now probably somewhere in the realm of 3000. Some of those CDs came with stickers, especially from bands who are too retarded and unpopular to be able to actually sell T-shirts and stickers to the people who go nuts for that stuff (I'm not one of them). So maybe it's because when I was in 2nd grade I realized how lame it was for teachers to use stickers on homework as an incentive -- like, why do I care that you put a rainbow that says "GOOD JOB" on a piece of paper that I'm going to throw away in a few seconds anyway? Is this what our tax dollars are paying for, Mrs. Pastenmash? You want to give me an incentive? How about a pencil sharpener (without ponies on it) or candy or maybe a handjob. And another thing! Stickers on cars!! Bumper stickers are like grafitti on monuments, or like campaign buttons on hot girls' blouses, or like Sandra Oh on my HDTV -- nauseating! Bumper stickers are a tacky visual annoyance on the sleek design of a beautiful automobile. The only band stickers I put on anything in my life are Self, Wired All Wrong, and Animal 32, because I believe so strongly in supporting them. I put their stickers on something that a lot of people will see -- an imitation Trapper Keeper or a nice CD wallet. My favorite thing is taking a scissor and cutting around the edges to make the sticker art "fuse seemlessly with the underlying design elements of the object (Art Nerd Quarterly, p. 34)". The rest of those hopeless band stickers go in a manila folder behind my 2002 tax return in a dark drawer in my closet. I much prefer the shiny no-residue joy of pin-backed buttons to be put on backpacks, hoodies, berets and your pet's collar.
Jager Or Die : I am actually typing up an essay on Oedipus right now! So did all of you kill your dad, fuck your mom and then gouge out your eyes?
Mbeanis: Not quite. Mostly I love the sound of the whole name and the conflicting images it conjures in the mind. Oedipus is a very specific one, but draws mostly from my shock watching the Doors perform "The End" (recreated) in the Oliver Stone film. Anyway, if you read this far, I'd appreciate if you'd post a comment with your first impression of the name EIGHT LEGGED OEDIPUS. What image came to your mind, even if only for a second?WAS THIS LAME?
FIX IT!
