Why Bloumeister? Marky Mark was alreay taken (feel the vibration!)
I wanted to be a mime, but the teachers
at L'Université Marcel Marceau
just couldn't get me to shut the fuck up
- Offline Gambling (I always break even) - Thumb wrestling (Tag Team Champion) - Lame Duck Hunting (almost as good as that dick Cheney) - Air rythm guitar contests (beat Gilby Clarke's lame ass every fuckin' time!) - Bitchiking (take a bitchike!) - Table hockey fights (let's drop'em at center ice) - Building sandpaper castles (no rough edges there!)
- Cakewalks in the park (yeah, yeah, I know, it's a redundant pleonasm, but what do you want? I'm an oxymoronic idiom) - Link bomb defusing (I'm feeling lucky)
- Doing it to the soundtrack of 'Rocky'
SUPPORT YOUR LOCAL MUSIC SCENE, PEOPLE! AT ANY COST!!!
Follow Mr. Bean's example if you have to...
Nimrod's Son
The Bubblemen
..
MUSICBLOOD! Check out Curt and Rick at www.myspace.com/ riffacne Your heart will pound, your ears will bleed, they'll rip you a new a-hole, but you'll still want to stay there and headbang!
Rock Goddess BETTY MOON
(we're not worthy!)
www.myspace.com/ bettymoon
Enjoy the music, but leave her alone: SHE'S MINE!!!
1-800-FUCK-YOU
Yes, they're a band, but get the oh-so-subtle hint! Dial the number, or better yet go to www.myspace.com/ thedemonflowers
Here's a little gem
from local guru
Mononc' Serge:
Marijuana
Do yourself a favor, and please check out Francis Stokes's God Inc. - proof that there's still hope for something we could really call humour in Hollywood today (provided they give the guy a chance to show his amazing writing and directing skills)
Episode 1
Episodes 2 to 6 at http://www.myspace.com/francisstokes
Here's your butterfly, F!
(yep, it's fuschia)
If Jack Bauer's not in it,
it's not worth watching...
Wanna have fun?
Get your asses to
Verbal Rubble now!
Grab a pen: that's www.verbalrubble.com
Better come visit us now, or you'll end up walking strange for a couple of weeks, with that fuckin' remote up your sphincter!
What are you waiting for?
NOW, I said!
If you don't, Chloe will track you down and Bauer will find you! CTU knows where you are...
Gotcha!
My autobiography: 'My Life As A Rocket Scientologist - And Other Amazing Stories' (out of print)
CAN A CLOWN BE SERIOUS FOR A FEW MINUTES?
A tribute to REAL HEROES:
And while we're on the subject of heroes:
CAN SOMEONE SAVE THIS FUCKING PLANET?
(DVD in stores now - run for your life!)