WELCOME TO MY PAGE This page is collection of my life experiences. GOOD AND BAD I have always had a lot of questions about people , life, and human nature. I have been lucky to live in a ton of amazing places and meet equally amazing people. Although, this page has much to do about sex...that is just one aspect of me..I just find the topic of sex very interesting ..and the extremes people (particularly gay men) .. go to ... to get it. Experiencing the things I have I always knew that one day I would write about them (mostly the funny side of them) ..so throughout my page are some of those experiences or .."LIFE LESSONS" that I have always found hysterical, disturbing, desperate, and most of all distasteful.
Lastly, there are not alot of generalizations that I can accurately make about people.. but the one thing that always stikes me is.. the desire for people .. TO BE ACCEPTED So even though I make fun of certain types or groups of people on my page..I believe that there is room for everyone. I love that the world is full of different people..Thank God for that....and for lube.
DADDY'S MYSPACE KEY In order to get the most out of my page ...there are a few words I need to define.
BFW- what is a bottom feeding whore..also the name of my doll line.
Please meet****
BFW COMMANDO
BFW MAN WHORE
BFW BATH HOUSE
(available exclusively at Wal-Mart)
MSBF- what is myspace boyfriend.
HATERADE- what is a drink for haters. Available in a variety of flavors..just an fyi.
WHORACLE- what is a whore who can see the future. Its like the whore version of the Matrix.
WHORE OF THE YEAR BIATCHES
I recently won "WHORE OF THE YEAR", it was a very proud momemt..none of which would of been possible without ALL ( and were way into triple digits here) my John's!! THANK YOU.
WHORE'S HAVE MORE FUN....
True....but "BFW'S" get paid ......
ARE YOU A LUBE WHORE?
Do you have a hard time opening doors??
Have you ever fallen victim to lube poisoning??
Is it hard to take your viagra..because the pill keeps slipping out of your hand??
Has your foot ever slipped out from under you..while you were fucking someone??
Is your remote control covered in plastic??...mine to..lol
Have you ever heard these words??.." OK, OK enough lube"
Have you ever said.." sorry I am not doing this without lube"??
Has a trick ever stuck you with a dry cleaning bill??
Do tricks cover their furniture when you come over to play?
Do you travel with lube..for fear of not having it?
Do you ever find yourself day dreaming of your own brand of lube? I do mine is for women...it would be called ..PUSSY JUICE!!!
Do you find yourself bargain shopping for lube..ie do you clip lube coupons??
Do you know at least 5 brands of lube off hand?
If you answered ' YES' to any of these questions...make sure I know ..so when we hook up ...I know that I can leave my lube at home!!!!
ps..ever have that shit open up when you travel..such a mess..always pack in a plastic bag..I've "heard" that helps!!
WHAT IS HATERADE??
...and why you should drink with caution.
Haterade is the evil (jealous) step sister of the drink you know as ..Gatorade. Athlete's drink Gatorade for its refreshing flavors and its important stamina building properties, mainly electrolytes. These electrolytes are what keep the athlete hydrated and going strong.
On the other hand, people who partake in Haterade drink it to sharpen their skills of "hating" ...Hating can be defined as putting down someone usually out of evny or genuine dislike for ones-self..Either way its usually FUCKING FUNNY!!.
Gatorade Ingredients: Water, sucrose syrup, high fructose corn syrup, citric acid, natural flavoring, salt, sodium, monopotassium, and phosphoric acid..( pretty straight forward)
Haterade Ingredients: Hate, detest, self-hatred, revulsion, abhorrence, disgust, and horror..(may contain traces of envy )
*** not to be confused with Powerade..that is the drink of bottoms!!
I hope that this answers any questions on the worlds most popular wedding, clubbing, socializing cocktail.
*** CAUTION TOO MUCH EXPOSURE TO HATERADE..CAN LEAVE YOU BITTER..BARREN..JADED..AND MOST OF ALL ALONE. BUT IF ITS ALL IN GOOD FUN..HAVE SOMEONE POUR YOU A BIG ASS CUP ..AND TELL THEM MARK SENT YOU!!!!
BEFORE YOU FRIEND REQUEST ME..
OK NOW WE HAVE TO TAKE CARE OF BUSINESS ....its like discussing my fee before the trick...a little umcomfortable ..but always necessary!!! So please read the statement below.
MR. MYSPACE MANGEANT..WHY IT'S A BAD THING
First of all let me say that I am flattered that anyone would " Friend Request" me. This blog is not a head trip on my part..but more about a way of controlling what type of person comes in and out of my life. I love getting to know new people. I welcome any person to " Friend Request" me that honestly thinks we could become friends..or believes we share something in common. On the other hand if you friend request me with no accompanying email, and I go to your profile and all I see are this years Mangeant contestants..ie ( extremely hot, extrememly built, half naked guys)..I am not going to accept. I am just not interested in playing some..... " I'm a hot guy look at me contest". Honestly, the truth is I just want to focus my energy on my current friendships and any developing ones. My experience with guys with the Mangeant pages are... that they don't ever really want to get to know me. The bottom line is I am not as cool as those Mangeant contestants (wink , wink) and I HAVE BODY FAT!!
**DO NOT FRIEND REQUEST ME UNLESS YOU WANT TO ACTUALLY GET TO KNOW ME..IF YOU ARE INTERESTED IN COLLECTING ANOTHER FRIEND ..PLEASE DON'T!! SEND ME AN EMAIL..TELLING ME WHY YOU REQUESTED ME..OR SOMETHING ABOUT YOURSELF. I WILL AUTOMATICALLY DELETE ANY REQUEST THAT DOESN'T HAVE AN EMAIL WITH IT. I JUST WANT TO SPEND MY ENERGY ON QUALITY ..KIND PEOPLE. THATS IT!! IF YOU HAVE OVER 500 FRIENDS DO NOT FRIEND REQUEST ME!!
MOST OF ALL IF YOU HAVE A "GAY" PAGE ..YOU USE TO TALK TO GAY PEOPLE AND A STRAIT PAGE FOR STRAIT PEOPLE..DON'T BOTHER.
ONE MORE THING..IF YOUR PROFILE PIC IS NOT YOU..OR A PICTURE TAKEN 20 YEARS AGO...PLEASE DON'T REQUEST ME. I CAN'T TRUST ANYONE WHO STARTS OFF WITH DISHONESTY.
I KNOW THE ABOVE MAY SOUND HARSH..BUT ..I AM THE NICEST GUY IN THE WORLD..I DON'T CARE WHAT YOU LOOK LIKE..I AM ONLY CONCERNED WITH YOUR INTENTIONS.
***PEOPLE PLEASE.....IF YOU FRIEND REQUEST ME WITHOUT AN EMAIL I AM JUST GOING TO LEAVE IT IN THERE TILL I HEAR FROM YOU..I CAN'T BRING MYSELF TO DELETE IT (JUST NOT THAT KIND OF GUY)..BUT COME ON..THERE MUST BE A REASON FOR THE REQUEST..JUST LET ME KNOW!!!!
Your's free with every "ACCEPTED" friend request!!
**Available in "TIGHT" ...only
The best part of this pic is the big lesbian in the background so happy ..because her two gay friends are finally hooking up!!
This statement is so damn true!!
*** So before you put anyone on a pedestal..remember that!! MYSELF INCLUDED!!!
Putting the "WHORE" in horrible..since 1978
The world is now a safer place to turn tricks!!
SUPERHERO BFW..
Able to empty John's wallets, at the speed of light!
I was never any good at telling jokes...
Ahh my sister and I..our first job. My mom said open a lemonade stand ...please.
Look no further...My rates start at 30 dollars the first hour and 19 each additional. Guaranteed to get you bottom feeding in less than one week..or your money back!! Some restrictions may apply..if you do not have your own banana..one will be provided!! (frozen banana preferred) For an additional cost of course. : ) Haterade sold separately.
I know what you are thinking..but he won't choke...he's a past "crack whore" client..and you can be to!!!
WHY THIS GAY BOY IS OBSESSED WITH MADONNA
"I'M NOT CHANGING MY FUCKIN SHOW"
I could literally spend hours talking about how amazing Madonna is. Madonna is the only artist, not only still around after 20 plus years ...but still remains relevant. Madonna's imagination and "artistic integrity" have far surpassed any other entertainer. I truly love all her music, videos, and brillant live shows. Madonna has somehow proven to be even more amazing in person..her voice far exceeding my expectations. She is the epitome of a star. Truthfully though, the reason I love her is because she let me know it was ok to be gay. Growing up and being harassed on a daily basis for being gay left me very alone and isolated. I like many other of her gay fans turned to her as a role model. Madonna brought gay people..especially (gay men) into the mainstream. I cannot tell you how many times I have seen "Truth or Dare"...not only for her, but for the assurance that I was not alone. Madonna let me know there was a life, future, and acceptance way beyond the small town people surrounding me. Madonna gave me hope that one day when I got out of this town ..I would be happy. I will always feel indebted to her for giving me hope. I guess thats why so many ..defend her like she was our mother..lol So the next time you say.. "Oh he's just another gay boy "OBSESSED" with Madonna...now you'll know why.
1. Guys who have boyfriends and flirt hardcore with you. An important rule to remember...( before you get all flattered)..."WHAT HE WILL DO WITH YOU..HE WILL DO TO YOU"!!
2. The fact that Madonna never performed "How High" for the Confessions tour. I mean come on I can see that performance in my head...yes, thats what I think about.
3. People who complain that my profile takes too long to load..and that I should delete some things. I am not going to apologize ..I have a personality. I could be like all the other guys..lets see if I have it right..."I like music,working out, hanging out with friends, and sex. Please "ADD ME" ..followed by 500 half naked guys in their friends section. If you really care to know about me..you'll wait for it to load..
4. Guys on myspace who have fake pics...I hate that. Just to let all you dishonest guys know. An attractive guy would never throw himself at someone in the first email. Not going into it...it has a lot to do with ego. Either way its a huge red flag. If a person doesn't want to talk to you because of the way you look..consider it a blessing that you find out early.
5. People who can never make up their mind about anything. Alot more is lost through indecision, than bad decision!!!
6. This one kills me..couples who sit on top of each other in the car. You know that couple in the pick-up ..where the women (who isn't driving) is actually in the drivers seat...with the husbands arm around her..lol PLease watch the road..you can cuddle when you get home. YES, I PROBABLY AM JEALOUS!!
7. The "dumb bitches", I keep getting friend requests from. Candy, Trixie, Courtney, Gurleee..blah blah..I like dick..that may come to a surprise to some...hehehe
8. I hate it when Rosie takes a day off from "The View"..I don't even feel like its worth watching.
9. Guys with no opinions (other than sex) !!!! Guys pay attention..These are the guys who are so concerned with being cool, hot, popular, and validated ..that they actually ..SACRAFICE THEIR TRUE PERSONALITY ...in the process. FUNNY IS HOT..!!!!
10.Rehab- how anyone can just go there now ..just because they have done something wrong!! I thought rehab was for addicts..not bad drivers?? ( I am not talking about Britney, she needs the kind of help rehab can offer.)
**I don't want anyone to think I am a negative person. It has taken me a long time to compile this list. Evidence to me that ..yes I am still heavily drinking haterade..but mostly that I have never been happier..really!! Don't Hate!
AHH one more thing that I hate about 07 so far...the fact that Anna Nicole died. What a terrible waste of a life.
Some new ones I forgot to post...
* People who only post comments that compliment them. Show the world you have a sense of humor..please
* People who give the finger in their photos..grow up ..you look like a fucking idiot ..its not cool.. Its stupid.!!!
1. Having to get out of the shower once I have realized I left something I need on the counter..ahh hate being cold and wet.
2. Bad smells..of any kind... use your imagination.
3. The commercial for that "Head On" headache stick. (does anyone think that really works??)
4. Knowing that Tuesdays's is "New Release" day at my local video store..and getting excited..because I have no life...lol
5. The fact that Madonna never "officially" released her Blonde Ambition tour. I mean come on its her best.
6. Dropping my Ipod..I swear my heart stops!!
7. Faux lesbians...you know those girls who are all over each other at the bars solely for attention. Most likely my girlfriends at my table..lol
8. Friends who just "throw" frienships away..as if good ones are so easy to come by.
9. People who have to "Approve" their comments..Boring!!This is what I don't get..if there your friend, why can't you trust what they post??
10.Hair that grows any place besides your head.
1.Britney Spears pantiless.
2 Perezhilton.com
3.Antidote cologne..by Victor and Rolf
4.Fleet Enemas
5.Apples's new I-pod
6.Astroglide
7.Flavor of Love
8.Kathy Griffin
9.Nike ID
10.Lexapro
*In no particular order
I have been this girl soooo many times!!
My favorite job..Athletic Director for Crunch Gyms
Spinning. I have been a spin instructor for 8 years now.
Some people say I worry too much..I just really believe in..living a proactive life..and leaving my reactive behavior behind.
What I could not live without...the greatest invention.
I love drinking "HATERADE"...SO MUCH!!
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