Apple profile picture

Apple

Danson in 2!

About Me

I recently killed a bonsai tree, but it was an accident, I swear. I'll kick your ass at darts, probably make you laugh, and if you're not not watching me every second, I will kill your bonsai tree.

Cats like me. I like smelling like the ocean. Rock climbing suits me. I like PBR and losing at Halo. I invented bar-stool dancing and my fish tank is big.

Go away. You're interrupting my nap.

My Interests

Gotta tell you, I hate having people pigeon-holed (sounds dirty, ha) by the movies they happen to watch to entertain themselves in between jobs and sleep, the music they listen to when they want to escape the crushing drudgery of driving for 10 minutes, or the books they, you know, read. People like things. Some people -- stay with me here -- like different things than other people. So excuse me please if I don't spend 30 minutes filling out all this pointless trivia. If someone doesn't like me because I've never heard of their favorite band, they aren't someone I care to meet anyway. But I still want to meet them because people are neat.

I'd like to meet:

People with...stuff. And by stuff, I mean...winky winky.

Music:

Rick Emerson (not music, but a great local radio show host. check it out, 970am, 12-3pm)

Television:

Scrubs. House MD. Arrested Development. R vs. B (not tv, but where could I put it?)

My Blog

incest is best (cont)

As the Extremely Small World Turns ...So I saddle up next to this admirer of mine and strike up a conversation.  I asked him what he was studying and learned that it was the GREs for business sch...
Posted by Apple on Sat, 24 Jun 2006 05:41:00 PST

screw it

So, either I'm too picky or there are absolutely no date-able people in the Portland proper.  I'm now to the point where I have my one twice-a-week booty call and I'm ok with that.  No,...
Posted by Apple on Mon, 01 May 2006 01:48:00 PST

incest is best

So, I am of the opnion that all of the friendships that i have accrued as an adult are completely convoluted and incestuous. Example: My bestest friend in the whole wide world is my ex-lover from 7 ye...
Posted by Apple on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST