Dark Twat (CD will be out eventually!)

About Me

Dark Twat started in 2006, with the intention of being a serious grindcore/death metal band. However after several "practices" where all we did was make noise and scream out random stupid shit, we just kinda decided to be a joke band, and just be extremely horrible and annoy everyone. We recorded a bunch of songs throughout the summer of '06, then we kinda went on hiatus. Work, family bullshit, and the loss of magic contact numbers caused everyone to kinda lose contect with one another, and eventually, I (Cotton the Defiler), was the only remaining member. Then in summer of '07, I got back in touch with the rest of my former bandmates. They had started another band, Priest Beater, and we mutually agreed that Dark Twat was going to stay a one-man band, and they would continue on as Priest Beater, and we would join together to piss off everyone in this shithole town we live in. And then in December 2007, we decided to be an actual band again, but Johnny Piratecock and Bearded Man Slave would still continue with Priest Beater. In February 2008, we introduced the Dark Twat Tabernacle Choir, which is basically a few of our friends (Jessica, Clayton, and Brandingo) who do back-up vocals, and provide extra instruments and shit. We're currently working on Dark Twat's first CD, "The Fucktard Manifesto", which will be finished sometime this year, and we're also working on a collaboration with Priest Beater, called, "We Got Drunk And Wrote A Bunch Of Songs." And before you even think about talking shit, watch this video:

My Interests

Music:

Member Since: 10/8/2006
Band Website: soundclick.com/darktwattheband
Band Members: Cotton The Defiler - Guitar, Vocals.....Johnny Piratecock - Vocals, bass, guitar.....Bearded Man Slave - Drum programming, vocals.....The Dark Twat Tabernacle Choir: Jessica, Clayton, Brandingo, and others - backing vocals, other instruments, various forms of mayhem and drunken stupidity
Influences: Musically: Anal Cunt, Eyehategod, GG Allin, Spazz, early Napalm Death, etc.Non-musically: Anger, depression, stupid humor, the people in this fine town who make us want to commit mass murder, porn, booze, dumb scene kid fags who think music is all about wearing your sister’s panties and crying about how no-one loves you, elitist douchebags who can’t take a joke, and SATAN!!!
Sounds Like: Stupidity. Pure, unadulterated stupidity.
Record Label: We release our own shit!!!
Type of Label: None

My Blog

Tracklist updated, yet AGAIN!!! Plus, other shit.

Here’s the song list: 1. If You Take Us Seriously, You’re Fucking Retarded 2. You’re Mad Because You’re A Fat Fucking Cunt And No One Wants To Fuck You 3. Egg Nog In Yo’ ...
Posted by Dark Twat (CD will be out eventually!) on Mon, 31 Mar 2008 09:28:00 PST

Check out these bands.........NOW!!!!

www.myspace.com/priestbeater - Johnny Piratecock and Bearded Man Slave’s black-metal/grind project http://www.myspace.com/mancrushonfabio - Pop-Tards page (Cotton’s Tenacio...
Posted by Dark Twat (CD will be out eventually!) on Wed, 19 Mar 2008 05:20:00 PST

New song! Plus, Johnny Piratecock and Bearded Man Slave are BACK!!!!

Johnny Piratecock and Bearded Man Slave have rejoined Dark Twat. We kinda talked about it, and we figured that since they help out on every Dark Twat recording, that we might as well just be a band ag...
Posted by Dark Twat (CD will be out eventually!) on Wed, 28 Nov 2007 10:00:00 PST

Info on "Most Country Sucks"

Note how it says "MOST Country Sucks". I hate almost all country nowadays. However, I have no problem with Johnny Cash, Merle Haggard, David Allen Coe, Hank Williams I-III, and pretty much a...
Posted by Dark Twat (CD will be out eventually!) on Sun, 28 Oct 2007 03:25:00 PST

Currently working on a song.....

It's called, "You're Mad Because You're A Fat Fucking Cunt And No One Wants To Fuck You." It goes out to this stupid fat-ass bitch that lives in bullhead that runs her mouth all the time&nbs...
Posted by Dark Twat (CD will be out eventually!) on Thu, 18 Oct 2007 04:29:00 PST

To everyone who lives in Bullhead that keeps asking: Im explaining this for the last time.

Ok, after many discussions with people that live out here, it seems like I have to explain this again. Dark Twat is a joke band. I don't care about being serious, and I don't care wheth...
Posted by Dark Twat (CD will be out eventually!) on Mon, 15 Oct 2007 05:35:00 PST

New song!!!!

Yeah, Bearded Man Slave from Priest Beater helped put the Jiggy-Fly song on the page. Go check it out, and lemme know what you think. This is one of many songs that will be on "The Fucktard Manifesto"...
Posted by Dark Twat (CD will be out eventually!) on Thu, 11 Oct 2007 03:41:00 PST

Fucking technology!!!

Ok, here's what's been going on with this retarded-ass "music" project. I hung out with the guys in Priest Beater yesterday, and they helped me record the song "Jiggy-Fly". We got everything done (min...
Posted by Dark Twat (CD will be out eventually!) on Fri, 28 Sep 2007 01:08:00 PST

ATTENTION!!!!

Blackie Wartooth will no longer be known as Blackie Wartooth. His new name is now Brandingo. As for what's going on with "The Fucktard Manifesto", we no longer have to wait for me to get my own comput...
Posted by Dark Twat (CD will be out eventually!) on Tue, 11 Sep 2007 06:41:00 PST