THEY CALL ME THE

THEY CALL ME THE "VULVA HAMMER"!

Veni, Vidi, Vici!

About Me



So, i just turned 28, feeling pretty old..no girlfriend, not much of a personal life, but that's ok. i love going to shows, smokin fine cigars, drinking various spirits and trying to make the best of any situation.

i have been in several different bands over the last decade or so, they were all super awesome, check them out!! ALLEGIANCE ...fuckin rules. I used to sing for MISANTHROPE , and THE MANDRAKE . Check that shit out.

My Interests


I'd like to meet:

brutal motherfuckers and hot ass chicks who like to get freaky...or something.

Music:

Damn near anything Death Metal. Mortician, Cannibal Corpse, Decapitated, Deicide, Morbid Angel, Dissection, Monstrosity, Immolation, Dying Fetus, Pig Destroyer, Marilyn Manson, Type O-Negative, Spineshank, Black Sabbath, Ozzy, Hate Eternal, Throcult, Misanthrope, Excommunion, Deadspeak, Apathy, Nile, White/Rob Zombie, Pantera, Lacuna Coil, Sepultura, Fear Factory, Meshuggah, Slipknot, Hed (pe), Mudvayne, Slayer, The Mandrake, Scalafrea, One Per Coffin, NIN, Suffocation, Death, Dimmu Borgir, Deeds of Flesh, Grave, Fleshgrind, Arsis, All Shall Perish, Red Tear Memory, BloodBath, Arch Enemy, Soilwork, Dethroned, Nicaraguan Death Squad, Abberant, and Soulfly to name a few. I dig a lot of old school gangsta rap too such as Tupac, NWA and the like. HAIL SATAN AND DRINK CHOCOLATE MILK MOTHERFUCKERS!!!

Movies:

George Romero, Lucio Fulci, anything horror and gory, or filled with tits, guns, bombs and the like. The remake of Dawn of the Dead was pretty cool. Troma movies rule, gotta love Tromeo and Juliet. Tarrentino is the fucking man too, whether he only writes it, or makes the whole damn thing. Just a few to list in no order...The Last Samurai, Kill Bill (both volumes), From Dusk Till Dawn, Braveheart, Silence of the Lambs, Ravenous, The Big Lebowski, The Devil's Experiment, The Flower of Flesh and Blood, Nightmare on Elm St., Friday the 13th, The Wedding Singer, Happy Gilmore, Billy Madison, Along Came Polly, Bruce Almighty, anything Monty Python, Night of the Living/Dawn/Day of the Dead, Not Another Teen Movie, Dazed and Confused. Movies are good.

Television:

anything that does not involve emotional attachment....fuck that shit...apathy is my new year's resolution....oh...and FUCK NEW YEARS!

Books:

anything, if I have time...which I have difficulty finding any.

Heroes:

I look up to no one

My Blog

update

So, unfortunately, it has come time for me to part ways with my band, ALLEGAEON.  It was a mutual split, with no hard feelings at all.  basically i can’t commit to the band as much as ...
Posted by THEY CALL ME THE "VULVA HAMMER"! on Fri, 04 Apr 2008 12:48:00 PST

speak your mind

if one of my friends has  problem with me, or something i am doing...or something i am not doing, and should be doing....just fuckin tell me how you feel...don't just sit in a circle and bitch ab...
Posted by THEY CALL ME THE "VULVA HAMMER"! on Tue, 04 Mar 2008 10:12:00 PST

my balls are on fire with desire for ice cream

fuck shit motherfucker fuck shit...is what you will say to yourself after you mosey on over to my bands page and listen to the four songs we have currently posted.  www.myspace.com/allegiancemeta...
Posted by THEY CALL ME THE "VULVA HAMMER"! on Thu, 01 Nov 2007 01:36:00 PST

goodness

just wanted to post a thank you to all of my friends and family that came to the gothic theater last night and saw my new band's first big show there.  it meant a lot to have friends there that s...
Posted by THEY CALL ME THE "VULVA HAMMER"! on Tue, 02 Oct 2007 05:47:00 PST

ejaculating for the common good

Behold the glory of me, and my motherfuckin band...check it out bitches...we finally got a decent recording of a song, with some fucking vocals (even though i am sick)....check that shit out...it is o...
Posted by THEY CALL ME THE "VULVA HAMMER"! on Mon, 16 Jul 2007 02:07:00 PST

fuckin life...makes a person angry sometimes

so, i am quite frickin frustrated these days....fucked up my checking account somewhat horribly...recovering slowly from that.  Working hard at the new job trying to not get fired, trying to make...
Posted by THEY CALL ME THE "VULVA HAMMER"! on Sat, 14 Jul 2007 02:29:00 PST

allegiance shows

We are playing on June 10 th at the Yukon in loveland...check our profile for details....we are also playing june 12th at cervantes in denver...we have tickets for sale for $10.00...all ages i believe...
Posted by THEY CALL ME THE "VULVA HAMMER"! on Thu, 24 May 2007 12:31:00 PST

holy mackerel

soooo...as most of you know, i am no longer the frontman for THE MANDRAKE.  they are a great band and i will support them fully in their endeavors.  i was planning on taking six moths off&nb...
Posted by THEY CALL ME THE "VULVA HAMMER"! on Wed, 14 Mar 2007 04:20:00 PST

changes

so, life is full of changes, as wel are all aware of....and mine is finally experiencing some good and some bad.  Good changes: I am finally changin careers, from being At king sooper grocery cle...
Posted by THEY CALL ME THE "VULVA HAMMER"! on Thu, 28 Dec 2006 04:30:00 PST

Shit

So, some of you may already know, but for the most part most of you don't.  It seems as though my time as the frontman of The Mandrake has come to a close.  I sort of saw this coming for a w...
Posted by THEY CALL ME THE "VULVA HAMMER"! on Mon, 11 Dec 2006 12:56:00 PST