AND RESPECT THE COPYRIGHT!!!
You will find everything you want to know about me on this site. And maybe one day you can tell me what there is to say about me. This is not a site about whining or complaining, but about searching and expressing. It is about revealing truthfully all those things that I have never or hardly ever shared before. This is about my life and my experiences, and all those emotions that for years I despised having, but that make me ?me?!
I am searching to find myself, to look beyond the pain I have endured in my life. I look at the core of a human, to find who they are and search out those who believe in what they want and who realize that this is the most important thing about life: to understand, respect and accept each other without trying to change one another.
Having made some negative experiences I am very careful about who I let in!!! If I am not reacting to someone's request send me a message so I can get to know you a little better first and then still decide. I want to keep this place safe for myself but first of all, for my inner child.
1. YEARS OF CONFUSION
The Beginning
Everlasting Divergence?
Reality In Words
Servant Of Lies
Just Another Lesson
Yes I Would II
One Step Back
Despicable Angel
Seeking Harmony
Not Good Enough
Without A Reason?
Disgraceful Angel
Memories Of My Grandfather 2. YEARS OF SILENCE
Why?
No Time For Fear
Not Real
Indepted Stupid Angel
A New Danger
Imperfect Angel
Confused Angel
Precious Change
Mind Control
If I Had Just Died
Silent Law
Wrong Fears?
For My Little Sister
A New Change
Determination Versus Condemnation
Nightmares instead of dreams
Crushed strength - First moment of weakness
Everything positive has a downside
Strength of mind
The beginning of a new life?
The first time hurts the deepest
Still a shameful secret
Doing just fine?
Revelation
No true end, no true beginning
A dream dying 4. YEARS OF SELF-DESTRUCTION AND SEARCHING
Letter to my mother
Moving on
Not letting go of my mask
Visible cracks
Nothing but a slave
Let's not talk but eat
Puppet on a string
New prospects
Tired of fighting, tired of life ... again
Shit! - Still alive!
An illusionary chance?
Falling off the roller coaster
Moving away from the edge 5. YEARS OF CRACKING UP
New resolutions
Dismissing reality
Guilt versus despair
"Mind-fucking" love
Entering and leaving the vicious circle again
Losing hope and direction
Hitting rock bottom
What next?
Not an easy "prey"
An exceptional friend
A step with unpredictable consequences
The trouble starts
Hell is still around the corner 6. YEARS OF FIGHITNG AGAINST MYSELF
Starting from scratch
The real journey starts
Bound by a vow
Going against my "rules"
What doesn't kill you
Slipping off a line
Talking is ridiculous
Longing for old times
Another year lost
Ruthless convictions
A new strategy
Turning inside
2007
Feeling "Immobilized"
Bad news and decisions
Update
Going back to my roots
First confrontation
Sometimes all it takes is a sincere hug
Will I ever ...?
How can I have faith/trust in what I do not feel?
When one door closes another one opens
Moving away from the inner distress
Positively speechless ;)
There is always a "positive" side
Love versus pain
THOUGHTS AND PROCESS
Reflecting 1
Reflecting 2
Insignificant Significance
Reflecting 3
Reflecting 4
Not A Question Of Blame
Reflecting 5
The trap of forgiveness
Healing asks the truth!
On my side
SOME SORT OF FUTURE AHEAD (?)
Was it right or wrong?