Burt Vergesen - ProfilesArchive

About Me

Comrades,Welcome to Burt Vergesen's Myspace, jamm-pack'd full of columns and features and cartoons and all that. Make sure you keep up to date with the latest blog-post, you dont want to be the laughing stock of the resource dept, especially when you're trying to impress that chick Julie with that weird bob haircut that you think you could get over if she just stopped flirting with Terrance the Stockboy, whose already bang'd half of the building leaving you to pick up the sloppy seconds. Or whatever situation you find yourself in.If you're not in the know, Burt wrote the Hostel report from Mt. Terrace Halls for Debate last year, and now writes Burt Vergesen's Cool Report from no fixed abode. He also will crack out the odd feature and pointless cartoons, and loves to talk about himself in the third-person.Burt's columns appear fortnightly in Debate. If you wish to suggest any topics or pointers to make the columns more homogenised and lethargic, dont hesitate to contact me with your suggestion and a drawing of the suggestion to make sure we're 100% clear on the matter. either way, i prolly wont read it.-BV

Myspace Layouts - Myspace Editor

My Interests

Burt wrote a small column in 2006 in AUT's Debate Magazine called 'The Hostel Report', as he lived in the Mount Terrace Halls. In 2007, he will be writing 'Burt Vergesen's Cool Report', as well as drawing 'Burt Vergesen's New Cartoons' and writing features sporadically. PS: I am definitely NOT Will the University Virgin. Phew.

I'd like to meet:

Anyone who cares about anything. Who needs to be picky? I don't care who I meet, as long as they care about something.If they care about my columns, I'm not here to judge.

Books:

Debate! If you dont have it, get it. XD

Heroes:

The inhabitants of MT. T during 2006. Without you, I would not exist. Also Chuck Palahnuik and Hunter S. Thompson.

My Blog

Burt Vergesens Cool Report! - 15th October 2007

Twelve, Highlights As this will be the final Burt Vergesen column ever, there is something quite special about all this. Since I am my own biggest fan, it will be dedicated to the "Best" Burt...
Posted by Burt Vergesen on Tue, 16 Oct 2007 01:20:00 PST

Burt Vergesens Cool Report! - 2nd October 2007

Eleventh, Murder There is a desperate guilt ingrained into the walls of my psyche from the strange era that I grew up in. I am a white male who grew up in the nineties. From an early age I le...
Posted by Burt Vergesen on Sun, 30 Sep 2007 10:05:00 PST

Burt Vergesen Boobs on Bikes Coverage (22nd Aug) Feature

Published August 27th - This is the Original version. Debate added some stupid intro line thing, but i think it stands alone without it. Notice also one complete paragraph which was omitted about my p...
Posted by Burt Vergesen on Tue, 28 Aug 2007 12:22:00 PST

Burt Vergesens Cool Report! - 27th August 2007

Tenth, Second Person You wake up and realize you're late, like always. You make up for this by not washing and by chewing gum. With these subtractions, you end up being early to class. This d...
Posted by Burt Vergesen on Sun, 26 Aug 2007 04:38:00 PST

Burt Vergesens Cool Report! - 13th August 2007

Ninth, Cowboy Boots "So there's this guy right, and he's obsessed with little girls. It's sick. I don't even know why I was reading it, to be honest. I mean, I thought it was cool but it's ab...
Posted by Burt Vergesen on Sun, 12 Aug 2007 04:47:00 PST

Burt Vergesen's Cool Report! - 30th July 2007

Eighth: A Trip I was walking behind a girl today and she turned and looked at me in disgust. I don't know why she did it; she must have thought I was checking her out or something. She turned ...
Posted by Burt Vergesen on Tue, 31 Jul 2007 07:21:00 PST

Burt Vergesen's Cool Report! - 16th July 2007

Drowning in my Luxury: The Seventh All this time I thought the band was playing my tune. I could here 'This one's dedicated to our long lost brother, Burt Vergesen' from the lead guitarist who was w...
Posted by Burt Vergesen on Wed, 18 Jul 2007 04:28:00 PST

Burt Vergesen's Cool Report! - 28th May 2007

Keep off the Grass: The Sixth This is one of the coolest titles for a creative piece of writing in the history of the world. For this Cool Report, I came up with the title first. 'Keep off th...
Posted by Burt Vergesen on Mon, 28 May 2007 08:45:00 PST

Burt Vergesen's Cool Report! - 14 May 2007

The Game of Life: The Fifth The Object: Collect money and LIFE tokens (Experiences), and have the highest dollar amount at the end of the game. Person tokens (Spouse, children and grandchildr...
Posted by Burt Vergesen on Fri, 18 May 2007 04:55:00 PST

Burt Vergesen's Cool Report! - 30 April 2007

The Maniacal Student Menace: The Forth How far away from murder am I? Am I close to turning on my classmates in an utterance of shotgun-shells? If I choose to ignore someone, does that mean I...
Posted by Burt Vergesen on Mon, 30 Apr 2007 04:41:00 PST