The Kung Fu Grasshopper - ProfilesArchive

About Me

The best way to save face, is to keep the lower part of it shut.
ABOUT MY #1:
I dream of a future where I can wake up to this man every single day. To have him look at me through sleepy eyes and sweep the hair from my face. To taste his coffee and biscuit kisses before he heads to work, for this is the man I've been in love with since God gave me a soul. I pray that time and consequence will show mercy, and I can keep him forever. Should it not, I only pray for his happiness. I truly love you, Mimi.

My Interests

Coffee, Nicotine, Collecting Hot Sauce, Music, Art, Cars, Motorcycles, Intelligent Conversation, Unintelligent Conversations, Stand-up Comedy, People-Watching, Playing Cards, Playing Dress-up, Saying/Doing Weird Shit, Thinking about things to be thought about, Doing Puzzle Games, Blogging, Drawing/Painting, Making Money, All things Nerdy

I'd like to meet:

I've always wanted to meet a Genuinely Amazing Individual. "Wanted" is the key word, kids.

Music:

EVERYTHING!!!, Incubus, Black Eyed Peas, CCR, AC/DC, Keyshia Cole, The Rolling Stones, Beatles, Marc Broussard, The White Stripes, The Violent Femmes, Mos Def, Blackstar, Nonpoint, Skindred, Carnivool, Coldplay, The Crystal Method, Sublime, Bob Marley, Cake, Bush, Damion Marley, Alicia Keys, Tupac, The RZA, Disturbed, Mudvayne, Marilyn Manson, Raheem Devaughn, Keith Sweat, Ray LaMontagne, Blind Willie McTell, Otis Redding, Michael Buble, Harry Connick Jr., Ella Fitzgerald, Anthony Hamilton, Franz Ferdinand, Boomfunk MC, Darude, Jane's Addiction, Pearl Jam, Ludacris, Laruyn Hill, Akon, James Blunt, Deftones, Dirty Vegas, Ludacris, Drowning Pool, John Legend, Vertical Horizon, Lifehouse, SYSTEM OF A DOWN, among so many others...

Movies:

I GOT NETFLIX, BITCHES!!!

Television:

Heroes, Scrubs, House, Attack of the Show!, Avatar: The Last Airbender, Inuyasha & Other Anime, The Fizz, CurrenTV, The Best Week Ever, Code Monkeys, Family Guy, Futurama, Law & Order: SVU & CI, Stand-up Comedy Junkie, Football (PITTSBURGH & U MIAMI FAN!), Boxing

Books:

Jon Katzenbach, Jonathan Kellerman, Dean Koontz, Totally useless but cool books.

Heroes:

If you waste your life, trying to be someone else, who the hell is going to be you?

My Blog

Well, I Can’t Speak For Everyone..

but people are weird. And getting weirder.
Posted by The Kung Fu Grasshopper on Tue, 27 May 2008 08:48:00 PST

Sammy is All I Need.

Being dizzy at the drop of a hat, sick to my stomach and just generally feeling like poo, along with swelling boobies and bloating due to PMS, I thought that my doctors had lied to me when they s...
Posted by The Kung Fu Grasshopper on Sat, 24 May 2008 01:25:00 PST

The Store Will Be Closing in 15 Minutes. Please Finalize Your Purchases.

I don't think my poor feet can handle the abuse working retail has put them through. Not to mention my internal clock kicks my ass by keeping me up all hours of the night and still wants to slee...
Posted by The Kung Fu Grasshopper on Sun, 18 May 2008 09:32:00 PST

Can You Smell What the Rock is Cookin’?

Nothing is eventful, but everything is eventual. So logic should prove that nothing is an event, eventually. Right?
Posted by The Kung Fu Grasshopper on Wed, 14 May 2008 09:19:00 PST

Some Chick Just Period-ed On My Leg?!

It's been a long time since I've written something especially interesting, and this is going to be it. Monday morning was my first day at the new job, and it was already nerve-wracking. Two days of 1...
Posted by The Kung Fu Grasshopper on Wed, 30 Apr 2008 11:44:00 PST

Story of A Man

There he goes... One of God's own prototypes. A high-powered mutant never meant for mass production. He was too weird to live, too rare to die. -Hunter S. Thompson Love you, Old Man....
Posted by The Kung Fu Grasshopper on Wed, 23 Apr 2008 09:37:00 PST

To Hell in A Handbasket

But I'm going First Class!
Posted by The Kung Fu Grasshopper on Tue, 15 Apr 2008 09:53:00 PST

Morton Salt.

When it rains, it definitely pours. I just imagine that little girl in the yellow golashes trailing salt behind her and imagine how much bad luck she has for spilling the salt. Seems that everything I...
Posted by The Kung Fu Grasshopper on Wed, 09 Apr 2008 06:25:00 PST

I Housed Her.

Well, I got most of everything packed and ready to be toted up to Laplata to live with Cousin Pinky. Can’t say "haul" since my car doesn’t possess that quality. I am very excited, but I kn...
Posted by The Kung Fu Grasshopper on Mon, 31 Mar 2008 10:29:00 PST

Can I Get That in "John Doe," Please?

Last week, I found myself at the wrong end of a paper trail and having to deal with the consequences of someone trying to get one over on me for the third time. My wallet with all my vital information...
Posted by The Kung Fu Grasshopper on Fri, 28 Mar 2008 10:03:00 PST