Matt the Knife profile picture

Matt the Knife

Im just an old chunk of coal, but I'm gonna be a diamond someday...

About Me

I'm like one of those old men who stands at the end of their driveway, shaking a fist at people driving by too fast. Check out my photo gallery profile! http://www.myspace.com/goldpawphoto I use and endorse Upton Bass. I now play an Upton Bass laminate Hawkes "Tigerswing" model bass with Clef Gut Strings and a Revolution Solo II Pickup. www.uptonbass.com feel free to ask me any upright bass related questions. Bass Slapper Extraordinaire, I play Bass(and sing), be it upright or bass guitar (THE ARKHAMS!!! The BLACK MARKET BAND, Lady Anne & the Invaders, the Slanderin'(when they came to NYC), american noise, NY Wrecks, Jesse Jaymz and the Cuntry Blumpkins), freelance photographer, hipster-hater, extinguisher of flames in female loins, Record Junkie and DJ,music journalist, witty, funny, charming, generally pretty awesome, and so modest, Sorry, ladies, I am very taken. I am the proud parent of a crazy little pug named Ramona. pug life, yo. Here's us playing: Here's what I look like with hair AIM- goatplow
The Arkhams!

My Interests

shows(playing and attending), spinning records, Erica Z, dogs, single malt highland scotch, microbrew, photography, women, hipster-hating, humor,sarcasm, becoming famous, my Basses, cliff-jumping, muff-diving, driving, classic cars, driving classic cars, Willy's, movies, spicy food, viking helmet nights, Vikings in general,walking/working/driving/drinking around NYC, Mars Bar, Spike Hill, Otto's Shrunken Head, Hank's Saloon, Don Pedro's, making a complete and utter ass out of myself and blaming it on women.

I'd like to meet:

"I don't meet people unless I already know them"

Music:

Psychobilly,Rockabilly, Metal, Surf, bluegrass,Oi!, the punk rock, NYHC, Old Ska, Jump Blues,Rocksteady, Celtic, Outlaw Country, (both kinds, country AND western) Truckin' songs, , , Viking Rock, Sludge Rock, RAC, delta blues, 60's soul &R&B, 50's rock n roll, listing bands would take too long (except fossil fuel, because they are their own genre and are goddamn geniouses, and my bands THE ARKHAMS!!, the Black Market Band!!!American Noise, NY Wrecks(RIP) Jesse Jaymz and the Cuntry Blumpkins(RIP), Dead by Four, Lady Anne & the Invaders, Played with the Slanderin' for their NYC Shows,-Comin soon to a dive near you!

Movies:

UHF, Jacobs Ladder, old boy, Anchorman, Shaun of the Dead! WILD ZERO!, Football Factory, , evil dead trilogy, 50's and 60's educational/informational films, Troma movies, A clockwork Orange, Cannibal! the musical, Catch-22, TCM(original), Apocalypse Now, Full Metal Jacket, (most war movies)Ravenous, Brazil, the Warriors, Anything by David Lynch, Fight Club, Super Troopers, Marx Bros., Coen Bros., Dead Alive, Begotten, Toxic Avenger 4, Street Trash, Breakfast of Champions, War Movies, House of 1000 corpses, fear and loathing..., where the buffalo roam, American Psycho, Night of the Day of the dawn of the return of the revenge of the attack of the terror of the son of the bride of the evil, mutant, flesh-eating, subhumanoid living dead part2(it's a real movie, and if you know about it, then you are my friend)

Television:

in moderation

Books:

Chuck Palahniuk, Irvine Welsh, HP Lovecraft, Bukowski, Billy Collins, Medical Textbooks, Vonnegut, Sheridan LeFanu, Hunter S. Thompson

Heroes:

My family, my friends, me, most dogs, Groucho Marx, Hunter S. Thompson, Peter Head, Tesco Vee, Lloyd Kaufman, Mojo Nixon, Bill Hicks, Willie Dixon, Henry Rollins, Les Claypool, the Hecklers from the muppet show, Weird Al Yankovic, Bruce Campbell, Erica in underwear over her pants

My Blog

Need flyers made?

Contact me. I will design kickass flyers for your band's show. You've seen all the flyers I've made for the Arkhams, the Black Market Band, and a few of the Midnite Monster Hops. Rates negotiable...
Posted by Matt the Knife on Wed, 20 Dec 2006 11:38:00 PST

My car just hit 200,000 miles!!!

I parked in front of band practice and it was at 199,999, then when I left, I got to watch it turn over. It was like the miracle of birth, only without doctors or babies or blood or screaming or diala...
Posted by Matt the Knife on Thu, 09 Feb 2006 08:54:00 PST

dear Eli Roth.....

Dear Eli Roth..... Your movies suck. Hostel really had potential, but you blew it. I can't believe Quentin Tarantino endorsed it. By the way, Cabin Fever was the stupidest movie ever. I speak for mor...
Posted by Matt the Knife on Sat, 14 Jan 2006 05:59:00 PST

Your crappy band

You don't know what's in my best interests, you don't know me, you sound like 5000 other indie hipster artfag wannabe garage fashionwhore pieces of shit that play every night in every bar in every cit...
Posted by Matt the Knife on Fri, 07 Oct 2005 03:44:00 PST

to people who can't stop clicking "add to friends, " and jumping the gun

You don't know me. You are a fucking douchebag. We have nothing in common. Nobody likes you and your band sounds like old people fucking. In order to make yourself not feel like a total loser who sits...
Posted by Matt the Knife on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST

www.connectionsSUCKS!.com

I fucking hate that stupid club. When I played there, they treated us like shit. As a customer, they treated me like last week's shit leftovers. FUCK CONNECTIONS! FUCK NEW JERSEY! The promoters there ...
Posted by Matt the Knife on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST

Best Prank Ever

The other night, I passed out on my friend's couch. He didn't write on my face. Skip ahead to the next day, after I had been out in public. I sat down to poo and my belt buckle didn't feel right. I lo...
Posted by Matt the Knife on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST

What a strange day....

This morning, I went out to get film developed. Ok wait, backtrack, today's oddities began as I woke up at 9 am with a hangover from Bud Light, but it gets weirder, I promise. Ok, on my way to getting...
Posted by Matt the Knife on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST

The Apocalypse?

Yesterday, I sat down to eat my lunch in front of the TV. I'm not really a TV watcher, but I was feeling lazy. I turned it on and the cable was out and the only station that worked was channel 3, whic...
Posted by Matt the Knife on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST

stupid emo

Beware of emo in disguise. I went to yet another show @my school where people claimed it was hardcore and then halfway through a heavy riff, they struck the gay emo chord and whined about their broken...
Posted by Matt the Knife on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST