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On a cold winter’s night in the early 1990’s, Rhokka, the tenth forgotten sister of the Olympian Muses, Rhokka, at last had decided it was time to once again descend from her starry skies to give her blessing to four young men whom she saw apt to carry her celestial heavy metal standard out into a rat-racing world of quotidian boredom and egotistic white-collars. Arduous had the goddess of rock’n roll’s search been, for finding the stuff of that which dreams are made is not a wholly uncomplicated task…
Gently she tapped on the boys’ bedroom windows, waking them up, and as they rose, forever rubbing sleep from their eyes, she beckoned to them through the blinds of everyday tedium and teenage angst, through the howling blizzard of an uncertain future, promising otherworldly splendour and damsels galore! Together they would come to wage a relentless war on milk-drinking mediocre homebodies and lovers of Britpop everywhere. Her kind invitation was eagerly accepted and so it was that on a dark and stormy night, four hot middle-class youngsters from Stockholm, Sweden were knighted to become- The Knights of the Night!
In the murky depths of a cramped cellar, a godforsaken crypt called “the Jam Roomâ€, the Knights of the Night created their timeless music, whopping classics that would prophesy hard rock’s revival at the beginning of the 21st century. As all true artists, the Knights of the Night were way ahead of their dull time, and what came after never got close to the original. The mould had been broken, and Rhokka, inconsolable, had returned to Mount Olympus.
The Knights of the Night gave eleven magic concerts on the Stockholm scene (Dalarö (Aug 95), Kaos (12 Jan 96), Rumpan Bar (Jan 96), Vita Huset, Täby (24 Feb 96) Jerlesborg (Feb (?) 96), "Tuben"- Toaletterna at Odenplan (3 Apr 96), Kaos (May 96), Kungliga Musikhögskolan (12 Nov and Dec 96) x 2, Jerlesborg (Dec 96) and Hyndans Hörna (Jan 97)). People who saw this rock’s roaring Behemoth in motion, still remember the boys’ unforgettable show to this very day.
Although never officially disbanded, rock experts, diehard fans and sociologists today believe the Knights are not meant to get back together in spite of constant obstinate rumours of an imminent reunion.
ABOUT LORD DELICIOUS
Lord Delicious- the voluptuous, deflowering mastermind of the Knights. A swarthy poet, irresistibly outspoken, this overbearing Jove set out to plot the strategic masterplan that would eventually conquer the hearts and minds of those fortunate enough to have beheld the Knights of the Night’s uncanny mix of sheer demonic power and sweet angelic finesse. On stage, he was a natural born leader, a dusky leonine instigator of saturnine excess and delirious orgy. The King himself must have descended from the skies to teach Delicious those dirty hip moves…
As many a literary geniuses, Lord Delicious suffered from a dreaded writer’s block, making some of his lyrics fragmented which has, however, turned out to be a part of their undeniable appeal, opening them up to an even greater number of possible interpretations. Even to this very day, fans dispute the meaning of songs such as “Rocking on the Freeway†or “Bearded Brideâ€, comparing concert bootlegs, bought at exorbitant prices on e-bay.
ABOUT SIR NICE (SIR PRICE)
Sir Nice (sometimes also referred to as Sir Price)- the Knights’ own Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde, clearly the band’s psychologically most complex member (hence the double name), and also undoubtedly the group’s musical genius. As a kid he couldn’t even take a crap without bringing his guitar with him to the joint. His mother often had to tie him down in front of his homework and lock up his guitar. He simply could not stop himself from touching… -his guitar! His frenzied, possessed soloing sent shivers down the girls’ spines… they all wanted to get a hold of those Mephistophelean fingers…
Well aware of his god-given skills, the bands pampered diva was, on a good day, able to spit out an umpteen number of wicked riffs, catchy tunes and ethereal harmonies… on a bad day, he didn’t even care to show up for a rehearsal…
A Christ on the cross (or a Judas on the hanging tree), both believer and heretic, he clearly interiorized the Knights (and Everyman’s) battle between the dreamful longing for otherworldly bliss and the cynic assimilation into harsh reality. But you can’t, as Lord Delicious succinctly put it, play in a band with a nail through your hand. Today, Sir Nice is rumoured to have become a successful consultant and the happy father of a newborn son.
ABOUT LORD THUNDER
Lord Thunder- frustration incarnate, at peace only when frenetically “banging away at the Devil’s cowhidesâ€, as a complaining born-again Christian neighbour once reportedly stated. A maddened goblin on a deranged rampage, or better still, the mountain king wildly ODing on the magic potion of Rock, yes, Thor himself gone berserk, bringing down his wrath on an overpowering number of heinous giants... The band’s morale, forever lashing (and notoriously nagging) them on, towards new perils…
Said to have moved to Spain, occasionally playing wistful tunes on a cheap guitar, writing sad verse inspired by the forlorn castles of Castile.
ABOUT SIR VAIN
Sir Vain- his self-tailored queer leather-and –lace outfits and tighter-than-tight Spandex left little to his thirsting fans’ imagination! The band’s visual artist, providing the other Knights with all the necessary accessories: pink neon tights, spike belts and wristbands, kinky black leather vests and groovy war paint.
Classically trained, his wailing Valkyrian howls were a call to lasciviousness and few were those able to resist… The band’s own Mr. Gorgeous- a treat for all female groupies of the band, cheaper than a piece of trashy meat on a Somalian black market stall, more concupiscent than all the randy emperor’s of the Holy Roman Empire!
As he could not possibly lead another life, he decided to go underground and it has been speculated that he moved to the Australian dessert where he then would have set up a sanctuary and gathered a network of willing worshippers of a towering phallic bass guitar, wrapped in leather and golden Spandex!
GUEST APPEARANCES
Sir Love- rumour also have it that there, from the outset, was a fifth member of the band, Sir Love, an irremediable romantic, who supposedly performed at the band’s first gig donning a cowboy hat, a pink silk scarf and skin-tight swimming trunks. The gig took place a remote island in the archipelago of Stockholm, apparently at a traditional Swedish crayfish party, where the Knight did an unforgettable show in front of a group of privileged, disbelieving Latvians!
But Sir Love was betrayed by the Pop side of the Force, and treacherously sold out, joining a group of spineless bespectacled three-chorders! A feeble shadow of his former passionate self, Sir Love, decided he could no longer stand his treason and skipped the country.
Last, but not least, let us not forget Carl Moses, that leather clad preacher of libidinous indulgence and kinky fun! An art-studying hirsute Apollo from the Northern Outlands, Moses often lent the Knights a helping hand, designing phat funky stage props, fending off groupies gone loco, or carrying beer, which was the usual payment the altruistic Knights went for!
Moses also joined in on the number “Schoolgirlâ€, playing a lavishly longing yet naughtily flirtatious solo, which expressed the song’s very essence.
THE SONGS
Fat Burns:
Lord Delicious’ eulogizing praise for the then-recently-deceased actor and comic genius John Candy, ingeniously embedded in a piece of brilliant lyrics about a Western shoot-out, featuring Lord Thunder’s gunfire rolls illustrating Fat Burns’ going down in a blaze. What lines do better incarnate rock’n roll’s in-your-face attitude than the song’s punchy opening lines?
Don't you call me
fat, fat, fat
With a face...
...looking like that!
The lines are also serve as proof of Lord Delicious’ superior mastery of rhyme!
Twilight Of The Gods
The song whips off with one of Lord Thunder’s bone-crunching beats- Thor almighty coming down in his blazing chariot, unleashing his wrath on Loki and the heinous hordes of Jotunheim! After two beats, Sir Price and Sir Vain join in with one of Sir Nice’s larger-than-life, excruciatingly mighty, ear-splitting riffs. Then, when commander Humungous himself, our own lean mean Lord Delicious, enters the epical battleground, giving order to assault: “Cruising cruel crusaders, here to save your ass…â€, we suddenly become painfully aware that we are, indeed, about to witness the Götterdämmerung as described in the prophecies of old! The song also features a wailing Sir Vain in the chorus, displaying another facet of his musical versatility- singing unearthly opera that would make Verdi himself return from the grave…
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