El Jay profile picture

El Jay

What do you think it is, stupid? It's a string for my lute.

About Me

Basically, I'm three nuns enjoying cake. What!

My Interests

I'd like to meet:

Myself, walkin' down the lane one late autumn morning with the tea-tinted leaves swirling around me like the gold bits in goldschlaager.Panda sneeze,FUNNY!!!
..

Movies:

Head On, Ripe, the Outsiders, Battle Royale, Out of the Blue, A Tale of Two Sisters, Dogville, the Idiots, Dark Habits, Oldboy, Waiting to Exhale, City of God, Susperia, Phenomena, High Tension, Terror Firmer, Silent Hill, fellini's Cassanova, Eight and a Half, Wild at Heart, Fire Walk With Me, just saw Inland Empire, Coalminer's Daughter, Crumb, Gang, Midnight Train. I've never seen it but I'm told Black Snake Moan is my favorite movie, so I believe it.

Television:

I sneer at televisions. But I like to crouch on top of them and pretend that all those staring, dull-eyed faces bathed in a blue glow are watching me, like a cat. It makes me feel... important.

Books:

"...and yesterday, in Bochum, before an audience of young people, I slipped in the middle of a Chaplin imitation and couldn't get up. There weren't even any catcalls - just a sympathetic murmuring, and when at last the curtain fell I quickly hobbled off, gathered my belongings and, without removing my makeup, took a cab to my boarding-house where there was a terrible row because my landlady refused to let me have any money for the taxi."

Heroes:

These two sonsa bitches will always be my heroes:

My Blog

Mrs. Yeobright & the Adder

I've been reading Hardy's Return of the Native and I just finished the part where Clym's mother Mrs. Yeobright gets stung by an adder because she gets locked out of the house by her daughter-in-law (E...
Posted by El Jay on Tue, 14 Oct 2008 10:24:00 PST

NO, NO, NO, NO!

My back hurts, my ass hurts, my eyes hurt, my brain feels like its being stabbed by a thousand railroad spikes, and get this: I'm not hung over. Nuh uh. This is a whole different bucket of monkeys, or...
Posted by El Jay on Tue, 07 Oct 2008 09:25:00 PST

Please, Tranquilize Me

There's something so special about 1:53 in the morning, don't you agree? It's a magic time, there's nothing quite like it. When 1:52 rolls around, I can't help but wring my hands in anticipation for w...
Posted by El Jay on Thu, 25 Sep 2008 11:04:00 PST

I saw a satellite tonight

I saw a satellite tonight. So the paranoid fantasies set in the future are real! Does this mark a new era? An era during which I validate man's fairly recent astronomical achievements via my own delir...
Posted by El Jay on Thu, 07 Aug 2008 03:52:00 PST

Summertime....

....and the living is cold. I went out to hunt used mattresses in alleyways just now, and it was like minus twelve out there! Even with my parka and my ski mask on I still almost froze to death. Fortu...
Posted by El Jay on Wed, 18 Jun 2008 12:57:00 PST

Oh if only this were true

MOSCOWExhausted after years of failed attempts to establish order out of political and economic chaos, Russian officials finally gave up Wednesday, ceding power to a flock of geese that happened to b...
Posted by El Jay on Thu, 29 May 2008 02:53:00 PST

Oh Goodness, Insomnia

Undoubtedly, myspace is a precarious crevice over which I hang, unsure whether to let go or hang tight. My imminent response is to write.. sadly. Sorry, all of you whom were wishing to witness an othe...
Posted by El Jay on Sun, 27 Apr 2008 04:30:00 PST

5-4-3-2-1...

I don't suck anymore.
Posted by El Jay on Sat, 19 Apr 2008 08:01:00 PST

I Suck

This week blows. I keep fucking things up left and right wherever I go. I'm not sure anyone hates me with a vengeance yet, but I feel that such passions are forthcoming. Either I need to reinvent my l...
Posted by El Jay on Thu, 17 Apr 2008 01:06:00 PST

Nuntastic!

You know that "sponsored links" section they have on this website where they offer you links you might be interested in, based on your profile? Well, ever since I put a picture of cake-devouring nuns ...
Posted by El Jay on Mon, 14 Apr 2008 03:20:00 PST