Cease and Desist JWB |
Remeber a few years ago that guy John Wayne Bobbit got his prick cut off by his wife? Well, I helped that guy out and now he is bad mouthing me. Because he had no cock to call his own, I sent over my ...
Posted by Conrad on Thu, 07 Jun 2007 01:29:00 PST |
I'm running for President |
It's true folks. After being idle, not writing this bullshit blog for months, I have decided I am just as qualified and pissed enough to run for US president in 2008. I am pissed off Bush won't b...
Posted by Conrad on Tue, 15 May 2007 11:53:00 PST |
My Appearance on 20 to 1 May Not Go To Air |
The other day I was flown to Melbourne to be one of those dribbling fuckwads on Bert Newton's 20 to 1. Now, the only reason I went is because Bert owes me a bottle of red from the time he bet me I cou...
Posted by Conrad on Wed, 07 Mar 2007 03:51:00 PST |
What the fuck is wrong with charity? |
I get a phone call the other day on a public phone in Musgrave Park from these guys who are organising a benefit for charity.
"Mr VanHorton, can you come speak at our pissant benefit for charity"
"Wha...
Posted by Conrad on Sun, 25 Feb 2007 04:22:00 PST |
Conrad's Biggest Rant of the Year!!! |
Howdy fuckers!
Its so god damn hot. And I cant take my parker off because I have no where to store it. Now usually when I get hot, I just piss myself and the problem is solved. But piss is usually bod...
Posted by Conrad on Wed, 24 Jan 2007 09:05:00 PST |
I Piss All Over 2006 |
Here's my take on 2006. 365 days in the year. 1095 times I pissed my pants. And that's about it. Nothing more exciting than that. Okay, I'll stop bullshitting.
I was asked to do this blog in Septemb...
Posted by Conrad on Sat, 30 Dec 2006 11:09:00 PST |
Merry Pissmas |
I'm not one for sentiment, so you don't get any here. Usually I would just say fuck the lot of you because you don't care that I am wearing one shoe and I don't care that you have a strain of VD.
So ...
Posted by Conrad on Sun, 24 Dec 2006 04:30:00 PST |
Stupid Article About Me That Appeared In the Weekend Section |
I really fuckin hate journo's. They are bottom feeding idiots who like to hide in bushes waiting for Lindsay Lohan to do something stupid. Like breathe. So I get a call at a public phone booth from th...
Posted by Conrad on Sat, 16 Dec 2006 10:53:00 PST |
One Note Character |
I have been called a one note charcter by certain members of the press. That is bullshit. I have two notes. Pissing myself and Bolivian prostitues. TWO NOTES. So if you dont accept that, fuck you.
Posted by Conrad on Tue, 12 Dec 2006 07:01:00 PST |
So Where Have I Been? |
Haven't posted for a while because I've been in the tank. That's jail if you are a moron. Seems they have a charge for not wearing pants. Indecent exposure. In Bolivia if you wear pants you get arrest...
Posted by Conrad on Sat, 02 Dec 2006 02:05:00 PST |
