Like many people, I was born. Born John Andrew Depp in 1980, I quickly realised that I better get on with things. I would eventually lose my name in a high stakes poker match to Phillip Seymour Hoffman. After a short stint as Joe Kickass, I aquired the greatest Poker Face of all-time. It helped me win the 1983 World Series of Poker despite holding just a Joker, a Get out
of Jail Free Monopoly card, a 2 of clubs, 7 of spades and a green #4 card from the game Uno.At age 2 I played a key role in gaining the Canberra Raiders entry into the NSWRL competition, and would eventually captain coach them to three premierships.I have also written for many Australian television dramas
under the psuedenum Charlie Strachan. I was orginally cast as Jimmy in the film Two Hands only to get blind drunk the night before with Russell Crowe and Conrad Van Horton, and sleep through the 5:00am call time. The role later going to a production assistant on the film named Heath Ledger.I can speak 5 languages, including 2 I made up myself and even though I have claimed it on several occasions, im not actually bringing sexy back. I was the orginal creator of both arcade classics, Mortal Kombat and Street fighter and once drunkenly suggested that a cartoon about four turtles who knew martial arts would, "quote", "kick arse". Little was I to know that two men would overhear this and go on to create, and take sole credit for the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.I enjoy it when old ladies call me love, drinking beer and watching footy. I onced knocked back a $1 million dollar a season deal to join Rugby Union and I wish I was as good with words as Bernard Fanning. I will also occasionally guest star on the odd Cold Chisel track.
