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joey

About Me

To impress chicks I usually blow the dust off my casio SK-1, and they say" WOW.. do you play?" and I pretend to be all bashful, roll my eyes and look away, but when I look away, I've already begun to jam a fresh ass tune complete with beat. BOOM- she's hypnotisized by my synth. She's got me cuttin her panties off with a kitchen knife while she's hummin my jam. And ya know what else, I hate using these fucking computers to comunicate with people. Sure you can sell yourself as an image or find people you lost touch with, but it;s got no fucking soul, ya know? Seriosly, can we just start writing real letters and sending eachother cool stuff from the life we're really leading, even if it's just an empty beer bottle or a dirty rig, at least it's REAL.

My Interests

I pretty much just like to sit around and play play station 2 like all hot blooded young men my age. Just kiddin'. Right now I'm conducting an experiment in which I mentally document the time it takes for a nearly untouched hostess cup to dissolve in a 55 gallon drum of rain water. So..uh..yeah. I guess you could say science, scientific stuff. Well the experiement was brilliant, just fucking brilliant! Anyone saying anything less has got brains O'shit. That's right and you'll be sorry when I'm rich and powerfully steering my big fat cock of a yacht throught the bahamas with no regard for safety or personal hygiene. And you'll probably be feebley following me in a rowboat shrieking"Pleeeeeez, plee-hee-eeez! Let me in your super sience club Joey!!?!", all cross-eyed with blood and scratches all over your doughy body. Youll be so hungover too from night after night of drinking trying to drown your dizzying obsession with me and my"LITTLE CLUB" that you won't notice that one of my loyal royal gaurds who consist of a cult of ex-philipino drug lords baby snatch-ers armed with ninja swords and like a hundred pinapple grenades a piece, has handed me a ripe banana. That's right ! A banana! and your wanting for my je ne ce'quoi will be swelling to critical mass and you won't notice that I've just lobbed my peel at you, and your dingy is spinning out of control. As your eyes cross you'll feel that hangover get stronger, so strong that you feel like you drank the spicy diareaha from the butt of a drunken confucian folk singer on peyote. As you choke back your own wretch and tears, you'll growl with shameful desperation "Why can't I be like himmmm!!?! Why can't I haaavve hiiimm?!! Why god?!!!?! Why is he in that yacht toasting beer with The Reverend Al Sharpton over steak and shrimp?!! and I"m slowly spinning sinking in a dingy." Then I'll lower my RAY-BAN sunglasses and tell you,"Sweetheart, your nice but not one in a million..Youre just not special enough." I'll laugh. You'll cry.

I'd like to meet:

sid haig, al columbia. richard simmons...maybe.

Music:

cloud dead, cantankerous, spankrock, flipper, dizzee rascal, the specials, rita mitsouko,bauhaus, wax tailor, julie cruz, angelo badalamenti,and thanks to eden: til tuesday ( have you ever REALLY listened to voices carry? It's.. it's...It's really fuckin good)

Movies:

I haven't really seen anything worth seein' again lately besides this old made for T.V. movie called "Men That Don't Tell" and Tom Scarret(the dad from poison Ivy) plays this guy who gets beat up by his brute of a wife. He goes to work and his pals catch a gander at his black eye and he actually says, "Oh, uh that? I uh.. I fell down the stairs. Heheh." I swear to god i almost shit myself laughing. Oh yeah, nightbreed. That movie was of biblical preportion to me as a child. I'll never forget that, God is an astronauat, Oz is over the rainbow and Midian's where the monsters live.

Television:

nah. except wonder showzen, but the History channel and Discovery. There is something wrong with that stuff. I dunno. It tells you your breath stank and your lips is cracked, but you still ain't brushin'. You ain't have no chapstick. crack a book fuckheads

Books:

the mystery of woolverine woo-bait, the secret museum of mankind, the mammoth book of how it happened,FATE magazine

Heroes:

reanimated corpses that want revenge