MyGen
Profile GeneratorThe A.Z.P. is a grass roots effort to educate and prepare individuals for zombie invasion . We encourage you to visit often , stay informed and help educate your family and friends.
How will I know a zombie when I see one ?
Good question ,Zombies usually appear grey/white or greenish with advanced leprosy type features, there often bloody and missing one or more limbs/vital organs . They also have a tendency to chew on their own appendages and groan . In some instances these signs may not be present . This means that they are turning And have just recently been recruited by the zombies . Turning signs include (symptoms may vary) sunken Eyes ,loose teeth , hair loss , green ooze discharge from orifices ,rotting odor , inability to speak , gangrene , rigamortis ,slow unsteady gate , ridged movements , no temperature and an unwillingness to DIE!
How Can I stop someone from turning ?
We suggest hollow point rounds to the forehead followed by decapitation , however if you are not a gun owner there are other more tedious methods : lemon juice in the eye , fork in the jugular , fire place poker , elevator music (may be substituted with Jessica Simpsons music) , aqua net hairspray and a lighter , baseball bat or any other blunt object capable of detaching the brain upon impact … followed by decapitation .
How can I protect my home ?
We have taken our queue from the united states federal governments disaster kits . We feel that they have The expertise ,knowledge and competence to correctly protect citizens homes from determined zombies .LIST: ___________________________________________________ Laxative, Flashlight and extra batteries, A portable, battery-powered radio, Duct tape and scissors, Plastic sheeting, Whistle, Pornographic material, Compass, All-purpose knife, Towelettes, Heavy-duty plastic garbage bags (for stinky corpses), a small shovel, Latex gloves (2 pairs), Gun and plenty of ammunition, Antacid, Tube of petroleum jelly or other lubricant, Chainsaw /oil and fuel, Hatchet /sharpening stone, And Megadeth’s countdown to extinction CD
