Legally Adorable

I am a dynamic figure, often seen scaling walls and crushing ice. I have been known to remodel train stations on my lunch breaks, making them more efficient in the area of heat retention. I translate ethnic slurs for Cuban refugees, I write award winning operas, I manage time efficiently. Occasionally, I tread water for three days in a row. I woo men with my sensuous and Goddess like trombone playing. I can pilot bicycles up severe inclines with unflagging speed, and I cook thirty-minute brownies in twenty minutes. I am an expert in stucco, a veteran of love and an outlaw in Peru. Using a hoe and a large glass of water, I once single handedly defended a small village in the Amazon Basin from a horde of ferocious army ants. I play bluegrass cello, I was scouted by the Mets, I am the subject of numerous documentaries. When I am bored I build suspension bridges in my yard. I enjoy urban hang gliding. On Wednesday after work I repair electrical appliances free of charge. I am an abstract artist, a concrete analyst and a ruthless bookie. Critics worldwide swoon over my original line of Corduroy evening wear. I am a private citizen, yet I receive fan mail. I have been caller number 9 and have won the weekend passes. Last summer I toured New Jersey with a centrifugal-force demonstration. I bat 400, my deft floral arrangements have earned me fame in the international botany circles. Children trust me. I can hurl tennis rackets at small moving objects with deadly accuracy, I once read Paradise Island, Moby Dick and David Copperfield in one day and still had time to refurbish an entire dining room that evening. I know the exact location of every food item in the supermarket. I have performed several covert operations with the CIA. I rarely sleep, but when I do, I sleep in a chair. While on vacation in Canada, I successfully negotiated with a group of terrorists who had seized a small bakery. I balance, I weave, I dodge, I frolic and my bills are all paid. On weekends to let steam off, I participate in full contact origami. Years ago I discovered the meaning of life, but forgot to write it down. I have made extraordinary four course meals using only a microwave and a toaster oven. I breed prize winning clams. I have won bullfights in San Juan, cliff diving competitions in SRI LANKA and spelling bees at the Kremlin. I have played Ophelia. I have performed open heart surgery and I have spoken with Elvis. [wink wink]. Actually, I am a Mom and an Amazing Person!! I can beat you at Backgammon, and then skunk you in Acey-Deucey. I am a comedian. I am a cover-thief. Sometimes if I'm really tired, I'll snore (very lightly) and I don't just talk in my sleep, I sometimes give dissertations.... So, thats a lil about me! **Smirks** ______________________________Oh yea and a few more thoughts:...... Nothing is foolproof to a sufficiently talented fool......Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak...... Those who live by the sword get shot by those who don't......Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine......And I just a heads up............When you go into court, you are putting yourself into the hands of ttwelve people who weren't smart enough to get out of jury duty.....