Paul Grattan, the autor and narrator of GuinnessSize Me, has written a poem about Guinness called Arrette;
Arrette
And if ther be any thyng that displese hem, I preye hem also that they arrette it to the
defaute of myn unkonnynge and nat to my wyl
- Chaucer, Canterbury Tales
The black silt of swally has become
my arses acrid hanger on. What paper,
puppy-plump or kitten-soft could wipe
this insult from my bum. A ticker-taper
tuft of hairs is hardening opinion as we speak,
in hard and difficult to reach terrain. In truth,
this throne of Royal Doulton retains both heat
and dignity in the face of cheeks
backed up solid for a week. Like the poor
the Garry Glitters are always with us.