i have no idea what im cooking - how the fuck do you poach an egg? |
it's a lot harder than you think. in fact, a few weeks ago i attempted this (without any prior knowledge of the method) and failed miserably. it was such a devastating blow to my...
Posted by matte elohim! on Sun, 09 Sep 2007 11:52:00 PST |
the secret life of garbage |
i am a collector of awesome people. in fact, i tend not to even bother with un-awesome people. this is the sole reason i am an asshole to some of my friend's friends. if one does not impress me in som...
Posted by matte elohim! on Sun, 09 Sep 2007 09:27:00 PST |
socrates vs. jesus |
this is the most unfortunate piece of bullshit ever. it is so horrible that, as shocking as it may seem, it makes me feel sorry for jesus because of his unfair portrayal. i notice a lot of writing tha...
Posted by matte elohim! on Sat, 08 Sep 2007 08:14:00 PST |
im taking notes and ill quiz them when i see them, the four wicked prophets called horsemen. |
there was hissing. there was knocking at the door. one third of the world had it's face in the tv all the while. they turned the volume up. it's a wonder that the evangelicals aren't hooting and holle...
Posted by matte elohim! on Sat, 08 Sep 2007 05:34:00 PST |
brooklyn lullaby |
if i were asked to give a countof how many shots i heard last night outside my windowi would say 7, maybe ninebut the truth is i hadn't been counting.before the sound of tires squelching against union...
Posted by matte elohim! on Wed, 05 Sep 2007 08:36:00 PST |
there-is-hope-for-this-world dept. |
i have an overwhelming desire to be lion-hugged, too.
...
Posted by matte elohim! on Sat, 01 Sep 2007 10:22:00 PST |
i hate books |
ending the life of a book, in my opinion, is almost as horrible as ending the life of a puppy; which, in my opinion, should only be done if said puppy is threatening one's own life. i recently made th...
Posted by matte elohim! on Fri, 31 Aug 2007 08:08:00 PST |
"if they arent paying rent, they have to go" |
it started with a tiny ant infestation.about a year ago these little fuckers come outta NOWHERE, start marching in and chomp down on an errant Cheez-IT that fell from grace the night before during a s...
Posted by matte elohim! on Thu, 30 Aug 2007 09:02:00 PST |
if you knew what i knew |
you would be end-of-day eyed and smiling stepping from the airport walkway when you meet me coming home.
Posted by matte elohim! on Thu, 30 Aug 2007 09:05:00 PST |
our best interests |
i'm going to try to be good this week. please stop making me drink. if you are going to make me drink, make me drink cheap beer i buy for myself at the bodega. if we must go to a bar, please sugges...
Posted by matte elohim! on Mon, 27 Aug 2007 09:12:00 PST |
