Amy Dials

It is finally official, I have landed the job I feel like I have been interviewing for for MONTHS. I will be training animals at the Saint Germain Penguin Rescue Mission just south of Portland. Although I have no experience with penguins or other animals, I am really ambitious and motivated, which my boss tells me are in fact not "learnable traits" but instead "natural gifts", which should make penguin training an easy trade to learn for me... One part of my job will be sailing out to the area of the ocean where sharks attack little penguins, waiting quietly on a boat for an attack, then stabbing the shark and taking the penguin out of it's mouth to bring back to the Rescue Mission. (I meant there is a whole crew, I am not fighting the shark alone, LOL!) Once at the mission, the vet brings the penguin back to a health that is conducive with trick learning, and then I will begin teaching them as many cute tricks as I can. My boss has a few tricks in mind that seem pretty stupid, like having them peck on command. I am throwing around this idea of teaching them a double waddle, but really I am just brainstorming ideas at this point. Moral of the story, I am moving to Portland in April, PEACE!