Jan Not Hammered profile picture

Jan Not Hammered

I am here for Friends

About Me

I love sherpas...I was born in Iowa City, but raised in New York, giving me a unique combination of midwestern niceness and east coast punch-you-in-the-faceness...I have no qualms about grilling baby octopus and snipping them up with scissors...I might one day start the revolution.. I am handy with a Glock, but downright precise with the twelve gauge or a .308...I am looking for employment as a lifestyle coach or a sherpa. Whichever. And I love this quote: "Just as the heart beats in the darkness of the body, so I, despite this cage, continue to beat with life. Those who have no courage or honour consider themselves free, but they are slaves. I am flying on the wings of thought, and so, even in this cage, I know a greater freedom."
Disorder Rating
Paranoid Disorder : Moderate
Schizoid Disorder : Low
Schizotypal Disorder : High
Antisocial Disorder : High
Borderline Disorder : Moderate
Histrionic Disorder : Very High
Narcissistic Disorder : Very High
Avoidant Disorder : Low
Dependent Disorder : Moderate
Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder : Moderate
-- Personality Disorder Test - Take It! --
-- Personality Disorders --

My Interests

drink, food, pee, poop, nudity, beard farming, chicks without dicks, photography, seismography, steganography, tasseography, pornography, topography, monotony...

I'd like to meet:

People who want to sponsor my life...With clothing, food, cash, and sneakers...And also love...Also the person who got this tattoo, which I thought was solely a figment of my imagination, although I usually picture the dolphin on top:

Music:

i listen to my own bad music, and since beans won't fix the website he made for me, it's mostly the same song anyways... jan.bnado.com , SLIMON AND GARFUCKLE, the truck stop whores, the captain kirk experience, the johnny rings, the sweat stains, anal leakage and the priests of perversion, the crosstitutes, chocolate surprise, crack eyed steez, Murder and the kill-kill-kills, soil and green, fly me to the moon, dead mexicans, dick insider, the raucous polyps, shaunte's inferno, poak-mee and the rears, shaven brides,the flat chests, pinky and the brains, ego man and the me-me-me's, private dryness...

Movies:

The Karate Kid and also movies with girl on girl action.

Television:

Access Hollywood, Entertainment Tonight, All My Children, General Hospital, The Simpsons, Family Guy, low budget cooking shows on channel 25...

Books:

Umberto Eco, Hustler, Norman Mailer, High Society, James Ellroy, Oui, Martin Amis, Cheri, Juggs, Graham Greene, Private XXX, McSweeneys Quarterly, Black Tail, Nietzsche, Leg Show, Neil Gaiman, Club International, Gore Vidal.

Heroes:

All my heroes were losers and drunks who wrote stuff, now they are just sandwiches.

My Blog

the other day

the other day you were not there i cried in the street i danced to heaven and back i fell down among thieves and whores i picked myself up and brought them all home i sat alone in the corner of a ro...
Posted by Jan Not Hammered on Sat, 22 Dec 2007 08:43:00 PST

a couple days ago i saw this...

some beauty lies in these crumbling bricks ...
Posted by Jan Not Hammered on Mon, 12 Feb 2007 02:17:00 PST

i love/hate baltimore

last weekend was wonderful for me, me and my friend drove to a mutual friends hunting/fishing lodge in nowheresville, virginia...we swam alot, cooked good food, drank alot of bourbon and beer, shot ha...
Posted by Jan Not Hammered on Mon, 18 Sep 2006 07:49:00 PST

powerbook clit-mouse game

you guys all know those little red clit-mice on powerbooks, right?? how come no interweb entrepeneur has developed a game where you got points for moving your finger on it in some approximation of di...
Posted by Jan Not Hammered on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST

i hate chain mail

Why can we not, all being adults, join together, e-unionize if you will, to forever end the scourge of inane and idiotic chain mail messages? From this day, let us no longer be beholden to the e-gods ...
Posted by Jan Not Hammered on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST

my new cock...

...tail: 3 parts gin, 1 part orangina, shake over ice, strain into martini glass, squeeze 1 half blood orange into glass(sinks to bottom), garnish with candied slice of blood orange...drink, enjoy...
Posted by Jan Not Hammered on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST

power

i have found that you can easily increase your brain power...the key is, to noones true surprise, living without television, and forcing yourself to read as a substitute...never has my brain sparked w...
Posted by Jan Not Hammered on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST