Click Here For Muqtadir's Music Page!!!Do you know this guy?Howdy, folks! I am a young feller from Central California with an addiction to food and a love for all things Asian. I love my beautiful wife, my darling kids, and the smell of Panda Express. I like to live life one meal at a time and I enjoy the feeling of being engorged with steamed rice and halal Chinese food. I am an honorary Malaysian, yet I still rep Mexico and my Latino roots. I have become Malay through years of study and training. Like great martial artists, I have grasped the Tao of Malayu and I weild the iron fist of the Orang Malayu. I love Malay food. Nasi Goreng, Nasi Lemak, and all that other stuff (coconut milk is soooo yummy) is what dreams are made of. Malaysian women are hot. I mean REALLY hot. So hot that I tremble when I am in the presence of one. My wife is cool. She makes me food, forgives my mistakes, and loves me for who I am. I am the most annoying person that you will ever meet. I will tease you until you either cry or try to punch me. I like making fun of homeless people, old people, and people standing on the corner holding signs. What kind of lame-ass would stand out in 100 degree heat with a sign while dressed in a chicken costume? Eggs are healthy but they are like eating aborted chicken fetuses. Can a true Christian eat an egg since eating eggs is like advocating abortion? Do pogo-sticks still exist? Why is it that when I eat too much watermelon, my poop is very bouyant and flakey? Why do I always have to flush the toilet twice? Why must airplanes have the smallest seats on the planet? Why are airplane toilets so uncomfortable? Why do people leave poop-streaks on public toilet seats? I love the beach but I hate the feeling of sand in my butt-crack. Dogs lick their own buttholes and weiners and then try to lick your face. Why do cats like to step on sleeping people? Why must British people drive on the wrong side of the road? I am conversationaly fluent in Spanish and I can functionaly speak a handful of other languages (Tagalog, Hmong, Arabic, Urdu, Punjabi ...etc.) and I can speak a little Malay. I have loved, lost, and then found love again. Life is so real, yet unquestionably surreal; I exist for an unknown reason and I strive to be the man I was ment to be. I have had my heart broken by the woman I trusted and loved, and then I was rewarded with my present companion. I have made more mistakes than I can list on this page ... I have broken nearly every commandment and I have a heavy heart because of this. I seek redemption through good acts and strong faith in The One True God; The Redeemer, The Greatest, and The Merciful. I love going to the fair and smelling corn-dogs. I like to watch foods being deep-fried and I love the taste of fried Twinkies. Love is the nectar of life, and headaches are the clarity in an unreal world. Ice Cream is a happy food and happiness is what makes life worth living. I like to eat Mexican food sometimes, but the gastronomical drama I suffer afterwards is never worth the good flavors. I take pleasure in relaying scatological humor to my friends. I drink Diet Shasta Orange just to get some cancer-cells brewing. I like food with MSG, I like women of the Asian persuasion, and I like shopping in filthy bodegas for food far exceeding the expiration dates. I do not like coffee, I loathe Starbucks, and I hate people who think that receiving welfare is an occupation. I do not like aggressive customers, crybabies, or uninsured motorists. Cream cheese ... ain't nothin' wrong with that. Chili Dogs from Weinerschnitzel smell really good. Chocolate Chip Cookies are heavenly, except when they are made by women with cats in their homes (Cat hair + Cookies = YUCK!) College is fun and college girls are annoying. People who drink alcohol should be shot in the street. Every dog has his day and every dog gets a warm piece of the sidewalk. St. Francis loved all animals, but I do not believe he ever got his child mauled by a Pit Bull. Fish have feelings; it's too bad they taste so good. Goats and cows are friendly, yet their flesh is so incredibly delicious. Dogs are man's best friend even though they eat their own vomit. Tupac is "Caput" spelled backwards. French Fries are never the same after the first five minutes. Sweedish Meatballs are colon-spackle. Lobsters are the cockroaches of the sea, so if that is a fact, household roaches must be tasty! I once threw up on an anthill and I watched the ants try to eat the stomach acid that digested them. If you eat lengua, does it taste you back? Is there a part of a pig that a Mexican won't eat? What color does Bill Gates poop? Does Donald Trump know that his hair looks stupid? Does anybody really care who is The Biggest Loser? How long will Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie stay married? When will the Treasury make a $100 bill that cannot be counterfeited? When will The Spice Girls do a reunion tour? When will Hostess make a cupcake that tastes good, yet has less than 10,000,000 grams of saturated fat. Eating potato chips made with Olestra is like having a mouthful of Vaseline. I hate green beans. People who don't watch their kids do not deserve to be parents. I hate stupid women. I hate stupid men. I hate people who lead you on. I hate the bait-and-switch. I hate women who say that they're "athletic", yet when you meet them you discover that they are slightly larger than Chris Farley. I hate people who defecate in public. I hate San Francisco. I hate restaurants that do not serve soft-drinks. I hate noisey "trendy" eating establishments that charge $20 for a plate of bean-sprouts and cranberries. I hate restaurants that charge a mandatory gratuity (why not pay your workers a livable wage and charge more on the menu?). I hate hidden fees. I hate people who smell bad. I hate smelly people that want to stand next to me. I hate people with bad breath that want to tell me secrets. Oh yeah, I like Kosher salt.
http://www.myspace.com/muqtadir
