steve gelder profile picture

steve gelder

I worship Larry The Chosen Possum. He played dead for your sins.

About Me


A little about me, eh...? All right, here goes....

I'm steve. I'm not religious, but I've read the Bible, the Koran, the Book of Mormon, the Tao Te Ching, the Kama Sutra, Carlos Castenada and Tom Robbins, and I think they all make some valid points. I like good music but I have eclectic tastes, so what I consider to be good music is probably very different from your auditory faves. Anyone familiar with the song "Hypertension Yeah Yeah Yeah" by Deaf School? Didn't think so. I'd like to start an Elvis Costello cover band with myself as lead Elvis, performing the songs from his early, angry days..."Less Than Zero," "Lipstick Vogue," "Watching The Detectives." The name of the band - Jealous Costello. I keep myself very busy between the freelance television editing I do to pay my bills, the independent films I make to tell my stories, and the writing I do to tell the other stories.

I think too much. I'm very loyal to my friends. I only sleep a few hours a night. I have a cat whose name is Bandit. Actually, his name is probably something only cats understand, but I had to assign him a human name. I was a contestant on Jeopardy a few years ago, so I think I'm smart enough, without being "weird" smart. Once, I saw a dog wearing a hat. At different points in my life, I have been a morning show radio host, a stand up comedian, a syndicated columnist, an employee at Arthur Treacher's Fish & Chips, a telemarketer, a Kelly Girl and now, I'm an award-winning filmmaker. People seem to think I'm living the dream. I think I'm doing ok. I'm writing a feature film that I'd like to shoot this year, 2008. It makes me happy and sad at the same time, so I think I'm on the right track. I'm a little bored typing about myself now - if you'd like to read more about me, order my book, "Somewhere Between Amused And Annoyed" on Amazon.com or at your local Barnes & Nobles or Waldenbooks. Me go bye now.

My Interests

Words, movies, politics, humanity, science, news, travel, improving myself, punching Kevin Federline for the hours of annoyance he's given me, and creating things out of nothing, but in a good way.

Your Birthdate: August 17

You tend to find yourself lucky - both in business and in life.
And while being wealthy is nice, you enjoy sharing your abundance with others.
You put your luck to good use: you are very ambitious and goal oriented.
Often times, you get over excited and take on more than you can manage.

Your strength: Your ability to make your own luck

Your weakness: Thinking you can do it all

Your power color: Bronze

Your power symbol: Half Moon

Your power month: August What Does Your Birth Date Mean?

I'd like to meet:

People from the future so they can tell me if I ever find my own personal nirvana and where it is, if that is indeed a matter of historical record by then, which I think it should be. In the real world...? Steve Martin, Tom Hanks and that jerk who keyed my car.

Back in...2006, I think, I helped produce this short film for director and friend, Vito Lapiccola. I also did the editing. It screened at five festivals and won two awards. The acting is really good. April Wade, the lead girl, came on to the production five days before we shot and really delivered. And Eric Passoja was the only choice for the other role. Awesome, both of them.

..

Watch My Shorts - Episode 1 - Under My Skin

Under My Skin Directed by Vito Lapiccola Winner - BEST THRILLER AWARD Winner - BEST DRAMATIC FILM AWARD



I was a student of The Groundlings here in Los Angeles. This clip is a monolog I wrote and performed for our Writing Lab back in August.

And this is me along with Bill and Tamra in "Loot Ladder!":

And then I was in this commercial for the Southwest Airlines Wanna Getaway contest. I play the office jerk's friend:

Pretty funny, huh? You'll notice I had no lines, but I had a whole backstory for Eddie (that was what I determined my character's name was, Eddie), 'cause I'm an ac-tor.

Music:


The Tragically Hip, all of the bands and musicians that contributed to the soundtracks of any of my films, especially squint, because they whine if I don't mention them specifically; Fugazi, Cheap Trick, Harvey Danger, Jane's Addiction, Nirvana, Soundgarden, The Doors - I have a wide range of tastes, but these are the first bands that sprang to mind. I like cool lyrics and unusual styles. The passion or heart of a song means more to me than whether or not the person has the most perfect voice in the world. Singers like Celine Dion and Beyonce have pitch-perfect voices, but feel so cold and processed to me, I can't stand them. Give me grit and reality and passion over production values any day. Although, I love the new Radiohead, "In Rainbows", and that's really well produced. And melancholy. And rockin'.

Movies:

First and foremost, The Jerk. Arc, Checking In and Cabbie (you have to love your babies), Three O'Clock High, Casablanca, anything by the Marx Brothers, anything by Monty Python, Bachelor Party, The Climactic Death Of Dark Ninja (short film), Overnight, Farenheit 9/11, Willie Wonka and the Chocolate Factory (I want an Oompa-loompa now!), Caddyshack, The Blues Brothers, Life Is Beautiful, Animal House, Memento, Pan's Labyrinth. Oh, and definitely Kung Fu Hustle. I hope to meet someone who will make me want to build a shop that sells lollipops.I'm looking forward to showing off a couple of new short films I'm associated with: "Under My Skin" which I produced and edited, and "Cabbie" which I star in, and is a really fun film.

Television:

The Simpsons. Is there anything else on TV? Let's see...Futurama, The Daily Show, Entourage, Anatomy of a Scene, I liked IFC's Film School when it was running, The Sundance Channel and IFC. And any of the wonderful television shows I work on/have worked on, including: Trapped In TV Guide, Pros Vs. Joes, Fight Girls, Rob and Amber: Against The Odds, Spring Watch, How To Make Millions On The Internet and the dog shows. Gotta love dem doggies.

Books:

A Child's Garden Of Grass, Somewhere Between Amused and Annoyed... (you have to love your babies), Pure Drivel, and about a third of Stephen King's books. I also enjoyed Lynch On Lynch, The Unkindest Cut by Joe Queenan, My First Movie by Stephen Lowenstein...and Born Standing Up by Steve Martin is one of the greatest books written about stand-up comedy ever.

Heroes:

Steve Martin, my parents, Tom Petty, Fugazi, Monty Python's Flying Circus, the original cast of Saturday Night Live, the guys who wrote for the National Lampoon magazine in the 70s (although P.J. O'Rourke has turned out to be a conservative ninny), Johnny Carson, Anton Chekhov.
You Are 25 Years Old
25 Under 12: You are a kid at heart. You still have an optimistic life view - and you look at the world with awe.13-19: You are a teenager at heart. You question authority and are still trying to find your place in this world.20-29: You are a twentysomething at heart. You feel excited about what's to come... love, work, and new experiences.30-39: You are a thirtysomething at heart. You've had a taste of success and true love, but you want more!40+: You are a mature adult. You've been through most of the ups and downs of life already. Now you get to sit back and relax. What Age Do You Act?

My Blog

Steve’s Holiday Hints & Tips!

Brace yourselves - we've passed the usual markers (Halloween and Thanksgiving), so the signpost ahead reads "Christmas less than a month away." Here are a few tips to tape to your dashboard (please d...
Posted by steve gelder on Wed, 21 Nov 2007 12:32:00 PST

Dear movie "The Abandoned,"

Hi, I'm steve, and you're my greatest nemesis. What the Hell's up with the ad on MySpace that makes that weird, screechy-screamy noise after you've been parked on your home page for three minutes?...
Posted by steve gelder on Thu, 01 Mar 2007 12:44:00 PST

Sick of All The Cursing

Nearly every other day, I get an email like this: "Someone out there really loves you and misses you and if you just forward this email to thirty-nine friends in the next 16 minutes, your lost soulmat...
Posted by steve gelder on Tue, 13 Dec 2005 01:13:00 PST

I Don't Blog Enough

Seriously, I don't do enough blogging. Sure, "blog" is a recently-made up word and a fad phenomenon that will hopefully fade into oblivion, but I should be riding this one like a monkey riding a dog ...
Posted by steve gelder on Tue, 15 Nov 2005 10:29:00 PST

For The Good Of America!

Back in the good old days of politics, when Bill Clinton was in office, sex was all the rage. In fact, eventually sex became all the Republicans would rage about. But in terms of sex's popularity, i...
Posted by steve gelder on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST