"One minute you're the belle of the ball; the next, you just want to get home and crawl into bed with a good book. Either way, it's okay. You need to do what you want and not pretend that you're feeling different." Although I want spontaneity in my life, I know that it would still be good for me to set a few goals each day, to at least have as a guide but not as rules. And I'll try to keep them as simple and attainable as possible. Eac day I need to remind myself how capable and smart I am. Coz if I won't...I know that I won't be able to handle things on my own. I will utilize my instinct for knowing when to step into the spotlight and when to step back. And I will also utilize my famous ability to be reasonable and flexible...which means I should make adjustments that has seemed somewhat difficult in the past. I believe that I am in a phase where I am more willing than ever to see things from a new and fresh perspective. Wish me luck.Let me tell you, dream and believe is my expression for a reason. I came from a very small town where their was no opportunity. My dreams were bigger than anyone around me could fathom. To live and to falter became more of a routine. Many times I fell, and many times I stood up. But these falls made me stronger as a person. I had the only one person believing in me that counts.....myself. In search for better opportunities, 7 years ago I decided that I was ready and I packed my bags, filled it with as much stuff as possible, and went to Tokyo. I lived there alone with my 2 dogs. Back in manila I graduated Architecture in UST, but I also took my Masters in Interior Designing and also Japanese language (speak, read and write Kanji, Katakana, and Hiragana) in TODAI UNIVERSITY at Tokyo. From then on I started working my way up. My family, poverty and my fear of becoming a failure motivated me to go the extra mile. I instead turned this fear to be my source of strength to be my best at all cost. Personally, FAILURE IS NOT AN OPTION. I've been through a lot, as in a lot. More than you could ever imagine. It's not easy, but with enough drive and hard work everything is possible. I had side jobs like telemarketing and tons of dance gigs, not to mention the amount of jobs I had to support my dream from the ages of 12 and up. I even sold goods from the Philippines, even went from house to house to be able to support my living and my family's as well. While working in a restaurant I was then scouted for print modeling and the rest is history. Remember this --- If you dream big and really do believe, you'll do anything you have to. Listen to yourself, to your gut, and you will soar.At this point of my coming of age, I am so proud of myself for surpassing my tumultuous teen-age. Mid 20s is I guess one of the best part of my life. It's like being naive yet daring. I used to always think of how to cope up with people's expectations, comply with their own norms and values which most of the times differ with mine and yet I did everything to "FIT" in, and apparently, people feasted and took advantage of my innocence and my purpose to be recognized by them. It in some way brought me to the brink of failure but nevertheless I eventually realized that this is my life and I should take all of the consequences of my own unbecoming, and the thing is I just have to be myself. I also had my fair share of personal inhibitions and before I make a move I always weighed and worried of what would peep think of my action, afraid to fail in whatever endeavor I choose to be into. But now I became bolder with my moves as long as I know that it won't hurt anybody else. I became more aware of my social consciousness. Now my failures in the past thought me how to handle things in a more mature perspective. I also realized I don't have to fit in, but I just have to co-exist. I learned how not to think of what people would think of me because it did not give me positive results, and thenceforth my life changed for the better. Because of this, I was able to do things I always wanted to do in life. I felt lighter and bubblier. No pressures. No hassles. Now I careless about people and their expectations. I'm more carefree. I did what it takes to make myself fall in love with my own reflection. Whether if it’s donning a new hairstyle, or working out to get the bod I want, or scoring fantastic fashion finds, I did everything in my power to make myself look physically fab. Feeling good about how you look will do wonders to your self-esteem. I learned the art of embracing and celebrating my flaws, and I became more comfortable in my skin and eventually exuded confidence. I was able to make people around me feel my presence as I also feel and respect their own presence. I realized that in this world no one is ever right. I don't need to be right. I just want to be understood. And I guess that goes to other people too. Feel free to flaunt what you have because this is who you are, and if you do so -- you'll feel comfy coz you don't have to pretend to be somebody else.(DISCLAIMER)
Just for the record, I always accept invitations from people to be their friend. I never reject or deny because I myself experienced several rejections from people in all aspects of life. I very well know the feeling of rejection. Now once you've become my friend I never delete. But not even ONCE did I send an invitation to people to be their friend because I don't want people to expect something from me. So it's no biggie for me if you delete me after you added me as a friend only bcoz I did not have enough time to attend to your messages. By all means, you have every right to do that, bcoz as I've said it was you who added me in the first place. And besides who said Myspace is a Ms.Popularity Contest? Chill out, have fun! No need to be serious about the "CYBER STREET!" I'm not here to please anybody else. I'm juz here to be me. I can't live up with pretending someone I'm not. You know what?... everything has been said to me, but I aint affected! Expect more from a person who has lived a life in the klieg lights of whatever industry I chose to be into. At one point in my life I became ferocious to dealing with haters, but now that I became more mature, I realized that these people have their own stresses and one means of letting their stress out is to take on other people. Now if in some way taking your stress out on me will make me help you relieve your stresses, well I'd be glad to be of help. But let me remind you that even by doing this to me, you will never ever tarnish my total personality. Never in my glorious days will you haters again take what I have become of. As they say, "Once is enough, twice is too much!". I may have failed before but I will never fail again. Assume it as my "SWEET REVENGE!", ok? Honestly, I have nothing against with people who meet in the "NET" and eventually end in each other's arms. I guess there is nothing wrong with it as long as you love each other. Distance, absence, differences does not test the kind of LOVE two people have for each other, but they rather support a better foundation for that LOVE. But personally I'd prefer the traditional "getting-to-know-each-other" way of meeting your significant other. If we met and be mutually intrigued and spark the fire well I guess it will be more challenging to know what happens next. As a "FRIEND" once told me -- "Let's face it. Unless you have MET people from on MySpace, anyone can be anyone if you know what I mean. I don't care how gorgeous or successful someone is here. It is PURE fantasy until you meet them." .... WOW! I share the same feeling with him. Personally Myspace is not a lifestyle, it's more of a hobby.
