Waldo

The first 8 months of my life are a secret that the government won't let me tell. So I'll start in the winter of 2003. I was being held captive (that's the most I can reveal) and after months of careful planning, finally found my opportunity for escape. However, my freedom came to a halt when I was hit by a car. After a grueling surgery and having a metal plate put in my hip, I woke up to find that not only had I been nuetered but I was now in jail. That's right-the pound. Some humans I had never seen before came and posted bail for me, and took me home. When we got there I found out that not only did they have little humans living there, but another dog. I had a big brother!I'll be honest with you though, I did time once more. I'm a free spirit and I need to roam, so when one of those little humans left the front door open, I was like "see ya later!". I just wanted to check things out on my own, and then I would have been back. Some asshole in the neighborhood called the dog catcher on me though. Dude threw me in a cage and charged me with "DOG AT LARGE". Whatever! I beat the rap. Apparently my humans had lo-jack installed on me, so when the dude scanned me, he knew where I lived.Last year the humans brought home a cat. I hate her. I get yelled at if I even THINK about jumping on the couch, but the cat can go where ever the hell she wants. She walks around like she owns the place. She is fast, I've got to give her props for that. But I'll catch her little ass one of these days.Oh ya, and the coolest thing about me? I have 24 toes. You know what they say about dogs with double dew claws don't ya? That's right. You know you want me!