I'm just a lost soul found,but not by Jesus.I operate a solo death metal "band",Siron of Rot.I've seen it all,the things other people don't want to see,yet I never asked for it,although,once I crossed the line,I did get a bit twisted.For me,the 12 gauge shotgun is like a third arm.No one would want to stand up to me with that in my hands,not even god,gauranteed dead!I know pain and suffering,and I know madness.They should have put me in a straight jacket years ago.Welcome to my Hell!I am the beginning and the end,the alpha and the omega,I am a myth,I am a legend,I am the hunter,I am the hunted,I am,and I am not.I will die,and I will always be....Right now I'm just sending out a few demos,and working as a night watchman.My mental health is pretty good right now,and that gives you a weird perspective of life,a good one.From coming out of years and years of anguish,scarred but healing,you can appreciate being alive,because you can appreciate sanity.Alot of people claim insanity,and they may be fucked up,but until you've been drowning in the deepest,darkest psychiatric psychosis,you don't know what madness really is....I did get crazy again,for awhile,paranoid psychosis,from ODing on ephedrine.I take alot,and it causes paranoia,delusions,hallucinations,and various flavers of mental anguish.But I did get off that stuff.I have schizophrenia(not a split-personality!),and I take meds that interfere with daily life.The anti-psychotic Seroquel,300mgs twice a day,Klonopin,which is like zanax,and paxil.I'm getting brain damage from the meds,I'm not quite as sharp anymore,my memory is shit,I've lost so many words in my vocabulary.Parkinsonism too,the klonopin covers that up.Motivation,gone.Sex drive,once powerful,now hardly even there.That candle inside just kinda burned out....Well,it's been awhile.All I need is a Monster energy drink to get horny.I'm just a guy who's struggled with his mind.OCD and psychosis didn't mix well.I used to create my own time frames,from which I would end,after it became undesirable,and create a new one.It was delusion,fueled by OCD.It was pretty bad,cause of the OCD and anxiety,it would have been better if I was just crazy.I got away from that with a new system,that started with a symbol drawn on my door.I called it Crapetic Kitec,and I added a new symbol each day.There became quite a few symbols,and it ended up becoming my false god.When I got crazier,on drugs,"entities" formed in my head,I could see them in my head,and they talked to me.We had actual conversations.They said they were the gods of Crapetic Kitec.It was good for the first few months,they were really helping me,but then it started to rot,I was almost gone.They did warn me,to shed them,before it went sour.Well,I did shed them,without resistance.I don't know if they were real or not,obviously,I'd have to say they came from within,but sometimes I think they were saviors from Hell,or it was from alien implantation.I was visited by demons and monsters at night when I was a young boy,I could see them,and they got in my bed.I saw the grim reaper come out of the closet.It was terrifying.I'm sure it was just complex hallucination,but sometimes I wonder.Of course,if I didn't wonder,I don't guess I'd be delusional would I?ha ha .Yeah,I know,who gives a fuck.But I thought I'd type it anyway....
Get your layout at Myspace Layouts
..
Myspace Layouts
