Homeless - ProfilesArchive

About Me

My name is Ivan Von Zont. I was born in Sumqaynt, Azerbaijan. My conception was a passionate night of love-making between my mother, a princess of the royal court, and my father, a bus-boy. Their love being forbidden in our country, caused my mother to hide me away in the far off country of Sudan. I worked in the Sudanese dirt mining camps till I was 18. I was able to win my freedom in the annual dirt mining arena-of-death league. I proceed to go to college and get my degree in Portugese, and Physical Education. I trained with the Navy seals till I was about 45, then took a trip to South Eastern Asia to study Kung Fu with forest monks. I live in Arcata now, in or around the plaza.

My Interests

I'm interested in getting my clothes washed. I would suck a dick for some quarters. There, I'm not afarid to say it. A man should be proud of what he does to make a living.

I'd like to meet:

I'm looking for someone to spend the rest of my life with. Someone who could take me into their home, clothe and feed me. I won't get in the way much, and I shower outside. I'm a great conversationalist.Otherwise, anyone with some money to spare would be cool. I would do anything for some crack.

Music:

I love to dance, and would do a jig for anything. Just give me some tequilla. Or some crack, I'll except crack too. If you were attracted to Johhny Depp in Pirates of the Caribbean then I think you would like me. I'm like him but with more rags. and just like him I'm addicted to smack. God I love that shit.

Movies:

I sleep at the theatres. Popcorn is an amazing food and I think should have it's own step on the food pyramid. This stuff lasts forever and doesn't pick up dust and hair after being left on the floor for 4 screenings or "Hitch".

Television:

I don't own a television, but I hear they're the lastest fad.