December

I hate this section! It always feels like wanking off to me: "oh, ohhh yeah, I'm kind of a big deal, oh, oooh, yeeees!" hah If I was a guy, right about now, I could stretch my hands out T H I S W I D E and say: "my dick is THIS BIG!" Oh yeah, temporary self gratification at it's worst, kind of like a one night stand, baybee! So, here's my shameless self promotion "wank, wank":
My name is December, I was born in January.   The only time I was ever fucking early, my entrance into the world...I wonder what I expected, applause?  The Dr. stated I would be born in February, on Valentines day to be more precise.  What a 'romantic' start that would have been... Women are supposed to love Valentines Day, ....I say: "Fuck Valentines day and the horse he rode in on!" Cupid is a fucking pansy who needs to grow a pair; his diapers full of shit (and so is our greedy corporate world).  Cardboard cut-outs of hearts, and bullshit cards written by another's mind (if only to make a quick buck) make excellent usage as toilet paper.  Express passion and love because you FEEL it, not because you are told to CARE on one measly piece of shit day of the year.  SPEND MORE MONEY. Consume. obey... Okay: you can still send me Valentines shit if you want, but I won't make any promises that I won't use it for toilet paper later that day.  Deal?
If you fancy a nice old fashioned raping via my words, and are simply dying to give me your eternal soul (mmm, tastes like fermented chicken), then you might want to ride on my corruption roller coaster...I only speak the truth, my lovelies, and we should all give that a fucking try.  Do you wanna ride?  Of course you do:
I am the vocalist of Terra Mortim (www.terramortim.net), take a fucking listen.  Prizes will be given to those who can quote some of my song lyrics back to me...I can't guarantee that your prize won't A.) fuck you  B.) eat you or C.) quote monty python episodes until you lose what's left of your fucking mind...but hey, we all love free shit right. If your prize doesn't get you, our music certainly will!  I say, if you are going to fucking do something, do it right...all the way-balls out, or not at all.  When I'm not creating mayhem on stage, I can be found writing, acting, and modeling--yes, I am attempting to control your mind...fuck propaganda, come take over the god damn world with me!  

What's that you say? You want more?  God damn you, this is the fucking greed I was referring to earlier.  Weren't you reading, you bastard you?  Oh, wait, excuse me.  Rule number one: never take ME or life too seriously...laugh mother fuckers, you'll live longer.  On a more personal note, I have a wickedly sick sense of humor (try offending me, I dare you), I like sarcasm, I cheat when I play pool (always), I have an obcession with gum and almost always have it in my mouth (oral fixation, for those of you who care deeply enough about my "sucking" habits to use the right terminonlogoy). I do volunteer work solely because it makes me happy (cue: Marry fucking Poppins theme song, yes, Virgina it's true...there is a heart underneath these titties) I collect freakishly real looking dolls (well, because I can), and Vodka is holy water (especially when licked vigorously off of a priests bum.)  MORE?  MORE? MORE?  YES! YES! YES!  *Ehem*...are you as excited as I am?  Shall we continue to 'climax'???   I think the sound of birds chirping is anything but peaceful, and I'd rather pull out a gun than listen to their "melodious little voices".  I love art, I stalk art, I tie art up...art is my passion, to the degree that I wish I lived in a painting with live sound. I feel oddly calm and refreshed in chaos. I think stripes and polka dots are funny (seriously, comical.) Laptops are cool because you can type while you pee (it doesn't get much better than that folks!)  I wear high heels 99% of the time because sneakers by all accounts are ugly. My favorite finger is my middle, even if it couldn't talk.  I enjoy all of my senses being in use simultaneously, and prefer to command my environment.   The smell of margaritas and intelligent conversations leave me buzzed.  I think the only way to get smarter is to surround yourself with people who are more intelligent than yourself...I am intensely passionate and fiery and live each day as if it were my last... and I can proabably rock twice as hard as you!