Tim

Still tryin to work that one out...each day I become closer to the real truth about myself then I get amazingly fucked and forget just at which point in my self exploration I was really at.One day I may be a fine upstanding member of the community the next, a drooling mess, sniffing at the gutters of life itself...what causes this, what measures can be taken to somehow stabelise this complete randomness, is there a point in the middle, some kind of limbo where I may exsist as a moron and a fine young man in perfect unison...these questions keep me awake some nites but being awake leads to avin more harmfull substances rammed down my ever expanding neck which in turn edges me back to the gutter and further away from becoming some kind of respectable citizen...but is this where I want to be, at the moment, the answer is no, no I dont...who would, tomorrow I may awake with a feelin that this next day is to be a good one, things will be done at work, bills will be paid, normallity will be acheived this fine day....but wait...what am I saying...tonight I'm going out, I will be high, drunk, my devient self may rear its ugly head once again and I wont even give it a second thought. You know what....Fuck it...I, actually, through the course of writin these few words have realised that it dont matter, whats the problem...I woke with a smile this mornin and tomorrow mornin will be the same...as long as I wake up smilin...then I dont want anything to change, I have already found my limbo and I like it just the way it is.