Sam profile picture

Sam

I am here for Friends and Networking

About Me


I decided to change this because I never have. Anyhow, I'm Sam. I'm pretty cool. Everyone likes me. Those that don't, they tend to avoid me. I do temp work. I don't like it. I'm also an actor. You should come see me in a show. In the future I will be either very successful or a complete destitute. There's no middle ground for me. You should get to know me. I'm mildly entertaining. I like an occasional drink. I'm awesome. So, yeah. That's all about me. Ask me more if you really want to know, but I believe you don't really care.

My Interests

Spanning decades, cutting the mustard, breaking the ice, picking up the slack, walking on eggshells, amature detective work, seizing the moment, rectal thermometers, charbroiling, winterizing, shifting paradigms, lantern jaws, holy rolling, the gout, hating the moon, being flippant, being Flipper, taking it on the chin, apathy, putting pearls before swine, blood, sweat, tears, earth, wind, fire, Crosby, Stills, Nash, Young, politeness.

I'd like to meet:

Friends, lovers, haters, enemies, stationary stores.

Music:

Richard Cheese, Johnny Cash, Marilyn Manson, Handsome Boy Modeling School, Del Tha Funky Homosapien, Blues Traveler, Rage Against the Machine, Bloodhound Gang, Ludacris, Outkast, Tenacious D, Gorillaz, Kottonmouth Kings, The Rat Pack, Willie Nelson, Body Count, Public Enemy, E-40, Slayer, Hatebreed, Hieroglyphics, System of a Down, Rob Zombie, They Might Be Giants, Skindread, Queen, Me First and the Gimme Gimmes, John Lee Hooker, Captain and Tennile(I saw their house in Nevada! Yeah, I'm lame.), Throwdown, Hulk Hogan and the Wrestling Boot Band

Movies:

Dawn of the Dead, Team America, Tommy Boy, Die Hard: With Avengence (I don't know why), Ed Wood, Pirates of the Caribbean, The Big Lebowski, King Pin, Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas, American Psycho, Saw, Elf, Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy, Kingpin, Kung Fu Hustle, Big Fish, The Jerk, The Aristocrats. I'll add more later. Maybe.

Television:

Law and Order (All four, jerkface!), Penn & Teller's Bullshit, Little Britain, Simpsons, South Park, Spongebob Squarepants, Reno 911, Kids in the Hall, Family Guy, Futurama, The Grim Adventures of Billy and Mandy, most things on the National Geographic Channel, MythBusters, Dirty Jobs, The Daily Show, Colbert Report, My Name is Earl, The Office, any Rachel Ray show (grr). Just a bunch of stuff.

Heroes:

Hulk Hogan, because, truly, who wouldn't want Hulkamania to run wild on them? And I guess ArtursIrbe has to be up there, because he is God's gift to all sports, not just the San Jose Sharks. Most definately Chris Farley, Bruce Campbell, Christopher Walken, Hunter S. Thompson, Steve Buschemi, Patton Oswalt, and the George Forman Grill. Also needed as heroes are: Johnny Riker, Edward Hightower, Pepe Soria, and Veronica Torres. They enjoy my subtle nuances and musky aroma.

My Blog

Chili up your nachos!

I drove past Taco Bell the other day, like I do many days. The aroma of beans and saucy ground beef filled the air, as food sometimes does as it is cooked. I thought about stopping, but I decided aga...
Posted by Sam on Wed, 14 Nov 2007 01:12:00 PST

Well, spill my oil!

Something's a-brewin' in the Oil Spill Fiasco of Aught-Seven. Seems a cargo ship smashed into the San Francisco Bay Bridge last week, spilling its fuel. While this in and of itself is newsworthy,...
Posted by Sam on Mon, 12 Nov 2007 04:07:00 PST

A dire warning from the future

Hey, Future One O'clock Sam, this is Past One O'Clock Sam. Or maybe this is Future One O'Clock Sam. Let's not argue over semantics. I'm here to warn you of the things coming up during the one o'...
Posted by Sam on Sun, 04 Nov 2007 01:59:00 PST

You’re too crowded, Halloween store.

After a few hours of serious journalism-doing, a fella needs to kick back. I had planned on going home, eating some tortilla chips and taunting the cat with kitty treats placed just beyond his r...
Posted by Sam on Sat, 27 Oct 2007 06:48:00 PST

Christ, Bungie

I've never played a Halo game, much to the hooting and snorting of many of the nerds I roll with. I'll tell you what, those dicks in the Math Club sure take things personally. Even though I know ...
Posted by Sam on Tue, 25 Sep 2007 01:43:00 PST

Cranky old ladies are worse than Hitler.

Hey, old lady in the grocery store. You're a horrible human being. You asked the clerks to double paper bag your groceries and then put said paper bags into a plastic bag. And to only put two items in...
Posted by Sam on Thu, 13 Sep 2007 01:23:00 PST

Sure, Ill never forget, but that doesnt mean Ill always remember.

Welcome to the obligatory 9/11 blog. I think it's in the bloggers' code or something. Remember when September 11th remembrances were solemn and reverent? I know I sure don't. I woke up this morning ha...
Posted by Sam on Wed, 12 Sep 2007 01:30:00 PST

Whoopie!

If you haven't yet, you should go see Shoot 'Em Up. If not for Paul Giamatti being a weirdo, just go and see it for the mid-air shootout. Or for all the carrot gags. Or for the odd anti gun viole...
Posted by Sam on Mon, 10 Sep 2007 01:51:00 PST

Trappings

I'm sitting here in the Las Positas College Integrated Learning Center. I have nothing to do here, so I am writing to make it look as though I am busy. Type, type, type, lookit me work. I'm ...
Posted by Sam on Fri, 07 Sep 2007 05:18:00 PST

A Family Circus Road Trip Part One

The Family Circus is at it again. And I mean that quite literally. Bil Keane is lazily rerunning a bunch of his old comics. You know, Bil, you're 85 years old. I would understand if you...
Posted by Sam on Wed, 05 Sep 2007 01:33:00 PST