A POEM - INTO THE RAIN by Tre (my sis) Into the rain Where sin is washed away She walked oblivious to everything Feeling the sizzle of sin against her body She hurts from the shame A decent into madness The rain drenches her Trying to wash it away She falls to her knees Lost among the ashes of her soul....To Sis: You are an incredibly talented poet. Father would be so proud of you. I asked to claim this poem, to better express the process of evolution that I am currently undertaking and experiencing. It is as if you were inside my soul as it happened...I love you. You are a muse of words, dear sister.Wow, what a trip I've been on. Life is so fluid, and so changing. Sometimes that unpredictability makes things exciting....other times, you just feel like you don't want to deal with it 'anymore'. New ground....new experiences....new people....new directions. The key to my existence at this point...is that 'none' of these things are familiar to me. Save my wonderful sister and her family. All other familiarity in life has disappeared....and I find myself with the incredible challenge, of not overthinking, of imposing past heartaches onto new people and places. If I could use a word to describe my existence....I would say it is 'challenge'. I am challenging myself...my memories....my tendencies...my pain.Sometimes I miss Nebraska. I miss those I was surrounded by....those who 'did' care...those who were my companions. It was a different atmosphere and a far different dynamic. I know that one day soon, I'll have a place of my own again. That space that I will loosely call 'home'. I know this....but there, it was almost maternal in nature. I felt close to Nick and his friends...I was looked to for advice and guidance....I was spoken to in confidence and secrecy....I felt as if I had purpose, in that the kids had a place to go, where they could speak about what was there in their spirits. I felt fortunate to have that connection with all of them. Especially you, my son. You were a light, and the anchor that has always given me the firmest sense of purpose in life. I always wonder if I did well raising you...if you learned all that I had showed you....if you are doing well in your new life. I hope so....I hope 'many' things for you. Joy is what you feel inside....it is created by your own heart and mind. If you can find peace in whatever path you walk.....that is the key. Be comfortable with what fate sends to you. Be accepting of the things you find less favorable. Be open to what you are being shown, and what you should learn from it. Even the things that feel the most painful have a purpose. A reason to testing you....a reason for changing you. It is simply the evolution of the soul. Remaining open and actually giving the parts of yourself openly to that....will give you the opportunity to continue to grow.
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TELL ME ABOUT YOURSELF - The Survey
Name: Char - The Ashen Muse
Birthplace: Dusseldorf, Germany
Eye Color: Blue-Green
Hair Color: Brown with highlights
Height: 5 foot 7 inches
Right Handed or Left Handed: Right!
Your Heritage: German & Dutch
The Shoes You Wore Today: Black patent leather heels
Your Weakness: Coffee and chocolate, LOL
Your Fears: Spiders...that's it!
Your Perfect Pizza: Mushroom & Canadian Bacon - YUM!
Goal You Would Like To Achieve This Year: To be established and comfortable within.
Your Most Overused Phrase On an instant messenger: Don't really use it anymore....LOL was it when I did:D
Thoughts First Waking Up: Give my best always...to all I do...
Your Best Physical Feature: No idea....hadn't thought about it. Eyes, I suppose.
Your Bedtime: Depends on how tired I am...I am a night hawk.
Your Most Missed Memory: My wonderful father...laughing with him.
Pepsi or Coke: Neither...Mountain Dew!!
MacDonalds or Burger King: Neither....going healthy!!
Single or Group Dates: Dates aren't really on my mind....
Lipton Ice Tea or Nestea: Not a tea drink:(
Chocolate or Vanilla: CHOCOLATE
Cappuccino or Coffee: Cappuccino most...but love all coffees!
Do you Smoke: Used to....woo hoo!
Do you Swear: No not really...only at insane drivers, LOL.
Do you Sing: Um, no...LMAO
Do you Shower Daily: Of course....it's hot here!
Have you Been in Love: Yes, most definitely...still am.
Do you want to go to College: Without a doubt....
Do you want to get Married: I thought about it....but....
Do you belive in yourself: With all my heart...
Do you get Motion Sickness: Nope:D
Do you think you are Attractive: I'm modest.....others say I am.
Are you a Health Freak: Yes, yoga, bellydancing, walking, excercise is the best!
Do you get along with your Parents: LOVED my father....don't speak to my mother.
Do you like Thunderstorms: I LOVE THEM
Do you play an Instrument: Not really...wish I could:)
In the past month have you Drank Alcohol: Had one drink with my sis and bro in law
In the past month have you Smoked: Nada....
In the past month have you been on Drugs: HELL NO....
In the past month have you gone on a Date: Make that a double hell no....
In the past month have you gone to a Mall: Nope don't do the mall.
In the past month have you eaten a box of Oreos: Um, nope, LOL
In the past month have you eaten Sushi: Don't do raw fish....eek.
In the past month have you been on Stage: No I haven't.....
In the past month have you been Dumped:
In the past month have you gone Skinny Dipping: Hell no again....
In the past month have you Stolen Anything: Never have...never will
Ever been Drunk: Long time ago....drinking is rare for me!
Ever been called a Tease: No...and never plan to be...
Ever been Beaten up: Nope!
Ever Shoplifted: NO! LOL....
How do you want to Die: In a quiet peaceful secluded place...
What do you want to be when you Grow Up: A full blown artist...and sculptor!
What country would you most like to Visit: Scottland or Ireland...
In a Boy/Girl..
Favourite Eye Color: Crystal blue....
Favourite Hair Color: Sandy blonde
Short or Long Hair: However he wants it...
Height: 5 foot 10 inches
Weight: Athletic
Best Clothing Style: Casual and comfortable...
Number of Drugs I have taken: Very few...and keeping it that way.
Number of CDs I own: Starting over...6 right now...
Number of Piercings: Two...ears and belly button
Number of Tattoos: None yet...
Number of things in my Past I Regret: I don't regret...I've learned from them all.
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