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Van

My first sensual experience was having sex with the ghost of a dead boy scout

About Me

Born in Florida. I got smacked in the eye with a rock when I was in third grade. It made me dumb for two non-consecutive years and I failed 5th and 7th grade. Most of the time was spend making popular kids laugh and drawing tanks. I ate a shit ton of sun flower seeds in 8th grade that earned me the name Flower Boy. Jocks beat the hell out of me until I joined the Black Panthers and learned to drive. I was 15 in the 8th grade. Most of the fighting moves I use today came from methodist church camp. Does big gay Tom, everyone's myspace friend, scold you for being drunk. Eat shit Tom.

My Interests

*Zoning out. *trying to listen. *reading books 2-3 pages at a time. *drawing blue prints for tanks . *Ghosts. *Space ships. *Making fun of things I don't understand like peoples race, beliefs or religion. *talkin shit. *making drunks laugh. *driving fast.

I'd like to meet:

*Anyone who killed a legend like Loch Ness or the Yetti. *An alcoholic, reclusive ice fisherman. *The person whose job it is to take down crosses off the side of the road to mark an accident. *An army sniper. *A CIA snitch.

Music:

I love the shit out of Rock n Roll: New Kids, Slick Rick, Devestatin' Dave the turntable slave, y'know old school hype rhytms and dope beats. Why does it matter what I listen to? Don't judge me. My shop teacher tried to judge me and he's dead from a voo doo heart attack. I only answer to Jeff the night time shift manager.

Movies:

Videodrome, The Changeling, Rosemary's Baby, Taxi Driver, Sunset Boulevard, What Ever Happened to Baby Jane, Psycho, The Wicker Man, The Haunting (orig.), The Human Tornado, Final Comedown. *** My Scientologist force fed me oats while I watched these fine films that I highly reccomend. Force Fed me oats. I do recommend.

Television:

I'm only allowed to watch televison through binocculars while I'm smacked with a wet salty towel. The only thing I really recoginize is the Rockford Files.

Books:

Religious Pamphlets, drive thru menus and pornographic emails from administrator Tom. I hate you Tom.

Heroes:

Nikki Sixx & Jack Kerouac

My Blog

Jokes for retarded drunks

Here's some jokes for the idiot on the go that work in every situtation. 1) A bunch of guys get on a plane with different ethnic backgrounds. Plane is about to crash.  The pilot gets out and a ma...
Posted by Van on Wed, 02 Aug 2006 10:22:00 PST