Mister Handsome profile picture

Mister Handsome

Easy's getting harder every day.

About Me

I write. What this means for you is that you'll now spend most of your time looking over this profile so that you'll be able to have the supreme bliss of being able to say, "Ha! This sentence/word is inadequate/misspelled/unclear! I could easily do what he does." And maybe you could....But I don't see you trying.

My Interests

TV screens with stuff on them, writing things for fun and profit, and senselessly jumping out of bushes at people.

I'd like to meet:

..The devil, if he's willing to take me up on that whole "selling my soul" thing. Make me an offer, o' dark lord of the underworld. This can all be yours.

Music:

Classic rock, new wave, and the heaviest of metals.

Movies:

Pulp Fiction, Glengarry Glen Ross, Magnolia, The Insider, True Romance, 21 Grams, Royal Tennenbaums, U-Turn, Mystic River, Shawshank Redemption, The Shining, Total Recall, Colors (cullaz, cullaz).

Television:

Reno 911, Penn & Teller's Bullshit, The Simpsons, Futurama, Mythbusters, King of the Hill, OZ, The Shield, Girls Gone Wild Commercials.

Books:

Slaughterhouse 5, The Boys From Brazil, The Martian Chronicles, The Things They Carried, Fist My Dirty Back Door: The Novella

Heroes:

I once saw a news story about a bear that ate a monkey at a zoo in Europe. That bear is my hero. The monkey may be smarter and have millions more years of evolution behind it, but in spite of that, the bear ate it in front of a crowd of horrified onlookers.

My Blog

Stories of my life: pornography

After posting that story about my Grandfather, I was inspired to write about another anecdote from my life.  If I do enough of these, any interesting story that I could possibly tell anyone wil...
Posted by Mister Handsome on Sat, 27 Sep 2008 10:36:00 PST

What the fuck, Myspace?

I don't exactly know what the hell is going on with Myspace's targeted ads, but I logged onto my page and found this doozy.Yes.  Please, Myspace: The Devil.  Show him to me....
Posted by Mister Handsome on Mon, 11 Aug 2008 12:03:00 PST

My grandfather’s only war story.

I was just telling this story to a student of mine tonight, and I realized that I haven't told it to many of my friends.  I like it.I remember talking to my mother one day while she was doing dis...
Posted by Mister Handsome on Thu, 05 Jun 2008 12:54:00 PST

Experiment update, lying girl scouts, etc.

I made it a week eating super healthy.  Truthfully, once you make peace with the fact that you can't eat anything fun, the process gets easier and easier.  Your thought process turns from "t...
Posted by Mister Handsome on Fri, 29 Feb 2008 11:15:00 PST

To health!

I do crazy shit sometimes.  Not often, but sometimes.Most people who know me will tell you that I'm not anything of a health nut.  It's not like I eat the cheese off of the In 'n Out burger ...
Posted by Mister Handsome on Wed, 20 Feb 2008 12:21:00 PST

Yearly update?

Yes, I'm well aware of the irony that I write for a living and yet I don't blog all that much.  Since we're so near the end of the year, I'll list some of the things I accomplished this year as o...
Posted by Mister Handsome on Thu, 20 Dec 2007 02:34:00 PST

Did I die?

Not necessarily.  I'm still very much alive.There are quite a few of my friends that I haven't talked to in a few weeks.   I've moved out, and I'm beginning to make my little corner of ...
Posted by Mister Handsome on Fri, 11 May 2007 03:57:00 PST

Valentine's Day coming soon...

From Yahoo personals: "To tell about itself to me as easy as shelling pears. I think myself the nice girl. With good sense of humour. I can always support good mood in the company. To tell the truth ...
Posted by Mister Handsome on Wed, 14 Feb 2007 06:55:00 PST

This really is the best music video ever shot.

I just saw this the other day, and I have no idea why I didn't know about this before. I give you David Lee Roth's video for "Yankee Rose," arguably the most ridiculous / gay video of the 1980s, edgi...
Posted by Mister Handsome on Sat, 03 Feb 2007 03:33:00 PST

LA Night Life

And by LA night life, I mean homeless people.  It's a good story, and I'll make it quick. Adam and I are walking out of a restaurant in Little Tokyo, which for those unfamiliar with that particu...
Posted by Mister Handsome on Mon, 29 Jan 2007 04:25:00 PST