The Fool in the Flying Ship

About Me

I have a headache. I don't know how to shut up. I sometimes laugh at sad things. When I get angry I punch hard objects and then my hand hurts. Hahaha!I like to be surprised by random brass bands in the street, I like falling over in poetic situations. I can handle current affairs for about five minutes. I fucking hate the department of infrastructure.I like good moods, when it's good enough to just survive and to know people worth smiling at. Possession is mutual, I can't escape my cardboard collection, it's got me locked up. I'm a 21st century Australian and I don't know what that means, but I think I find it vaguely unsettling. Should I?I have big piles of CDs and I have moths living in my pantry. That basically means there's maggots in my food, but I like to think I'm being hospitable, and sharing with young needy caterpillars, kinda like an insect social worker. Yeah, I'll write that on my myspace page: "I'm an insect social worker!" Sure, that's a pretty accurate reflection... I'm covered in hair and acrylic paint and bits of potato curry and ash and okra goo and who knows what else. I like animals, even the evil ones. I just went through piles of old writings and it's like looking at your own corpse after getting a whole other body and it's embarrassing and sad and hilarious. No use getting nostalgic for dirty fingernails, I say. Bring On Forgetful Economics! I have nothing to do except explain myself, and try really hard to enjoy things more than usual.

My Interests

useless inventions, invisible houses, ridiculous futurist tyraids, terrible experiences turned into entertaining anecdotes, elaborate excuses that give it away, junkyard puppets singing yugoslavian folk songs on fart-powered rocket packs, shit old books that you almost want to buy out of sympathy but don't, cos they're shit, mulching up boring articles about kevin rudd and test matches into paper soup with broken streamers and unread bank statements and snailshell remains, and slopping colorful pulp all over the house and saying "yeah, I could be art...". Remembering, and not remembering, and doing things that are almost worth it in the end.

I'd like to meet:

whoever decided it was a good idea to coat cucumbers in plastic sheaths. Would have to be a seriously odd character.

Music:

Is 2007 too late to get into Sinatra?

Movies:

Trailer voiceovers! You know, the american guy talking over the ultra-exciting bikini-explosions saying "fraam the directoor aav shrek... cahms the most maagical jooourney evvur... inn the greeatest fillm... that will change... your laafe.. furevvur" totally convincing, like it's the Most. Important. Thing. To. Ever. Be. Said. I reckon they're out-of-work God Impersonators, filling in time between gigs. Seriously, irony is completely redundant when reality becomes this much of a mockery. What's gonna happen to all the poor scetch-show piss-takers when their job is already done for them? Did anyone spare a thought for the poor sketch-show piss-takers?

Television:

Sooty, news reporters that don't know they're on air, and this guy

My Blog

ricky gervais is a mangled freak from hell

Ok, hired out the Extras and it was bloody funny, good show made me laugh etc. etc., Then watched the extras (the DVD extras on the extras DVD, of course, get it? geesz...) and there's all this footag...
Posted by The Fool in the Flying Ship on Thu, 10 May 2007 01:14:00 PST

I'm a lukewarm-blooded killer......

Totally sucked in! After my extreme stress explosion about being permanently crippled by my hardened carnie-laborer job, wearing steel-caps smaller than my feet which forced my toes back up into my sp...
Posted by The Fool in the Flying Ship on Wed, 18 Apr 2007 11:50:00 PST

Have the Sly Brain-Rapists deleted my personality altogether?

That fucking does it, all the writing on my page has gone. Clearly the hack-fuckers didn't approve of my sense of irony, nor of my advertising-related tyraid. Am I being paranoid-schizophrenic here o...
Posted by The Fool in the Flying Ship on Mon, 19 Mar 2007 10:55:00 PST

Aww how cute is John Howard, don't you just wanna squish him up

John Howard presenting Tim Flannery an award, as brought to our loungerooms by Sandra Fucking Sully. What the hell is wrong with this country. How hip and with-it did he look up there with his patron...
Posted by The Fool in the Flying Ship on Fri, 26 Jan 2007 10:43:00 PST

culture-puppets in the wars of the wilderness: clearfell my mind and call me Capuchin

We seem to think our bodies control our minds, that somehow the human brain is the puppeteer for the physical world. Crap. We're so subservient to the whims of our bodies, we are our bodies, we ...
Posted by The Fool in the Flying Ship on Mon, 08 Jan 2007 11:06:00 PST

I want your STUFF!!!

Ok I really need to put some kinda zine together and don't especially want it to be full of useless brainfucking nik-dom. I know you're all fabulous so please please give me anything from anywhere. ("...
Posted by The Fool in the Flying Ship on Sat, 25 Nov 2006 04:04:00 PST

anyone for shortarse issues??

Holy shit this is amazing! http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-1522158746296131750 I know all sorts of stuff is amazing, and I could flag you all any number of amazing things to look at, but fuck...
Posted by The Fool in the Flying Ship on Mon, 30 Oct 2006 03:23:00 PST

Please appease my inner Quiz-Dork

[**Remember to sound friendly**] Hello, is this Mr./Mrs. ____ ? Hi, how are you today? That's good. Would you like free money? That's great. OH, no, no... I was just wondering. Haha... I am...
Posted by The Fool in the Flying Ship on Fri, 20 Oct 2006 10:40:00 PST

Quantum-tightrope, bullshit excuse (PG reccomended for smelly losers)

Our minds only proccess a tiny fraction of the information they receive, let alone what's available to them. They constantly sub-conscously select the information that fits in most convenien...
Posted by The Fool in the Flying Ship on Mon, 18 Sep 2006 10:27:00 PST

Cheesy US voiceover, cheesy Nick's cheesy predictable agenda. Yawn.

http://www.petatv.com/tvpopup/video.asp?video=dairy_cows_vea l&Player=rp&speed=_med Interesting stuff, never saw veal as a dairy byproduct before. Anyway, even though no-one's interested, I'm g...
Posted by The Fool in the Flying Ship on Mon, 28 Aug 2006 07:12:00 PST