benjamin

chapter 1 book falling. in love. i think books, reading them, starting them its much like falling in love. you start open the cover, not yet really "reading the book" or for that fact falling in love with her. not caring much what you are looking at(but definity knowing you are fasinated with what you are looking at in the purest sense of admiration), at first because you have chosen the book off the shelf for some reason, a parapraxis of a reason, a reason built on what you have heard about her or what hero has told you to read it, what sort of cover it/she has etc. then you get a few pages in, and this is the complicated point where you are stuck in a bit of a place that is i guess some sort of ignorant bliss, and also the opposite of that where in, you are innamered by each and every typed word/step of hers. real pure beautiful curiousity like kids trick or treating before they have figured out the buisness of halloween in which you dont need much of a costume, you just need to head out early to cover as much door step groud as possible to keep your little head buzzing with a sugar high for a few weeks. this part is a bit of a mix where the book could be bad but you are just far to excited to be reading, the act of reading, you have heard its a respectible activity to be doing(years of school, and not reading becuase you didnt like the old dry dusty books they made you check out of the libary) ...then you get further inchapter 2at this point you have lost the directionless drive to read for the sake of reading and the words start to catch up to you and well you need to start to think about what she is saying, in the words of the book/life. this is where it gets scary/exciting/de-meaing(you must read this word phonetically and really think about how it sounds). this is where you are no longer trick or treating for candy and you have to ask yourself if not only the act of reading is any longer fulfilling but if the candy is good, TO YOU. in pure selfishness. understanding the candy may not be good to youbut not neccesarly anyone but you might be the most sweetest best treat to everyone else but you, is the candy (please disreguard all sexual connotation attached to the word candy in the context of romantic relationships as that would be misleading the point i am tryign to develope) going to get your little head buzzing in comparason to another. and its not even to say that you dont think the candy would be good to anyone else, if you dont think the candy/words/her smile, could be nice to anyone else well then you need to go a few pages back to your first or perhaps second and third halloween outings/books and understand they are all good, nice pretty. its just a chemical reaction on your toung, in your brain, from her eyes. i guess i am justifying this point for fear that i have done this, but i think in a very biased perspective, being me talking about me, that i belive, its all very great(things would certainly start to melt if i didnt at least belive this to be true).chapter 3(choose your own adventure: chapter 3.a and chapter 3.b)chapter 3 is to much reality for me, to much having to do the dishes when there are no clean ones left to eat off of. to much having to choose the bowl of candy at any particular house knowing you cant do the entire city communities everyones, and well it could take off to a fantastic place where well you need only choose the right houses, or pehaps not even need to go to more than one house for knowing one candy bar from one house is just all you need, or finding that the house you have picked does not have any candy that you want, and well at this point you know every house on the block is not the answer its the right candy bowl and the right hand passing you your candy bar in exchange of a threat of there beeing a tick in absince of a treat. and well you head back to the library and skim threw the shelfs, riding your bike by every house/book shelf in the weeks prior to halloween/a new try at it to find a new chance/book/beating heart powered body. there is im sure a 4th chapter explaing the answer between choosing the correct answer or even eliminating a seperation between 3.a and 3.b, but well im still in this stage of riding my bike down library book istles pasts houses all with diffrent bowls of candy and girls smiles/brains/eyes. dont go to www.eprodux.com