Bobby Ridiculous - ProfilesArchive

About Me

My guidance counselor once told me that I'd be "great in sales." I asked him if his guidance counselor had told him he'd be great as a guidance counselor. He said no, so I told him that I'd "give this music thing a try then, but thanks for playing."I play good music, drink quality beer, and make fun of those who do neither. One day people will know who I am, but until then I'll enjoy getting away with shit.A quick note: mostly because of myspace and the related pop-culture phenomena of our time, I pray to God that I never have a daughter. The times seem to bring with them a generation of girls with ever-lowering self-esteem and a need to be adored by horny frat guys. Quite frankly, I'd off myself if I was the father of any of a large portion of girls I've met. Nothing against you all, most of you I like a lot and have no problem with your choices, but the thought of society's increasing need to skank-up girls earlier and earlier scares the Hell out of me. As one guy, I know I can't reverse that tide, so I'd sooner avoid the whole thing.That said, hot women who like bass players are always OK with me. What, I can't have a few contradictions? The Bible has'em, why can't I? I'm pretty sure it's what Jesus would do...Come to think of it, guys are getting dumber and more fucked up as the years go by too, so a son's probably out of the question too. The fact that ignorance is so prevalent in this, the "Information Age" is ironic and sad.There's only so much a father can do to raise his kid, and "so much" is getting to be less and less. I imagine how little MY parents were able to dictate my development, and that was in the pre-historic ages where the worst influence on me was Beavis and Butt-head. When it comes to hope for our offspring, I'm in the frightened stage. I suppose the next stop is resignation and bemusement. I hope I'm wrong, I guess.... Holy Shit. Am I old-fashioned now?

My Interests

The science of inducing the female orgasm through dick jokes and thinly-veiled masturbation references, fuzzy little puppies.

I'd like to meet:

Women who don't use myspace as a dating service. A sense of humor, or at least a resistance to being offended by good-natured potty humor is a plus.

Music:

Rather than just throw names like so much primate feces, Every so often I'll update I'm digging at the moment. The bottom line of my friends list will have them on there if they have a myspace.
000000000- Duh, my band. Check us out, I won't even bother describing it here. Trust me, you'll like it.
Periphery- My friend Josh Gilbert turned me onto these guys. Wow, I've heard a lot of bands who are influenced by Meshuggah, but this definitely has to be the best one and the only one that really seems to be doing something different with it. Their riffs are unbelievably complex and brutal, but actually catchy (at least I think so). Check out "Juggernaut Icarus Lives" and you'll see what I mean.
Ghostcrab- There's not much up on here, but sit back, and descend into that magical place known as Chillsville. This guy I've known for a couple years, and there are few people making music for better reasons. Our boy just likes watching the people get down. He's going to Afghanistan soon with the 101st airborne and we're all looking forward to him coming back and lighting up those keys once again. Check him out and look up his old band, The Nasty. Some solid shit, y'all.
Deanna Devore- Sexy, smoky vocals and a cool overall sound make her definitely worth a listen. She's great live, too, beautiful voice. Check her out.
Chi-Town TheRapists- The Hottest new Crunked-out rap crew in Chicago, featuring myself, my brother, and others. Listen to "We Dolce" once, and you'll wonder why I'm still in a band.
Not your band, though, you guys suck.

Movies:

Clerks, Mallrats, Chasing Amy, This is Spinal Tap, Napoleon Dynamite, Wayne's World 1 &2, Original Star Wars Trilogy, Monty Python and the Holy Grail

Television:

The new season of South Park is pretty much wall-to-wall genius, Lewis Black's Root of All Evil, The Daily Show, The Colbert Report, No Reservations with Anthony Bourdain, Top Chef, The History Channel, The Boondocks, Anything that makes fun of MTV, Aqua Teen Hunger Force, Metalocalypse, Stand-up Comedy, Friar's Club/Comedy Central Roasts

Books:

1984- George Orwell, the Tao Te Ching- Lao Tzu, The Da Vinci Code- Dan Brown, The Science of Getting Rich- W.D. Wattles

Heroes:

Hero worship is petty, but Maynard James Keenan qualifies.
Oh yeah, and Terry fucking Tate.

My Blog

An NFL Rant

OK, I know this is dumb. I'm an artist-type-wannabe-person, but I was watching a show on HBO called "Inside the NFL." On the show, analyst Chris Collinsworth suggested a rule change outlawing a return...
Posted by Bobby Ridiculous on Sat, 27 Oct 2007 08:59:00 PST

I vs. Me: and explanation.

As I walked through Libertyville, a calm breeze and cars flying by me, my background as a proofreader's son with a flair for grammar and my (more recent) background as a homeless bum with a wandering ...
Posted by Bobby Ridiculous on Mon, 28 May 2007 09:50:00 PST

The night Before Funksmas (A visit from Shuggie Claus)

The Night Before Funksmas (A visit from Shuggie Claus)'Twas the night before Funksmas and all through the hood,Not a ho on the street clowning 'cause it was all good.The Pimp hats were cocked to the s...
Posted by Bobby Ridiculous on Thu, 21 Dec 2006 08:38:00 PST

The human face of Iraqis

Read this, You might learn something Prepare to have a human face attached to our terrorist action is Iraq.http://riverbendblog.blogspot.com/The sad fact is that even the most liberal Americans st...
Posted by Bobby Ridiculous on Sun, 26 Nov 2006 10:52:00 PST

A response to a friend request

Ever get a friend request from some chick (presumedly) and the page says NOTHING about the person except that they're "fun and easygoing" and are "shy until I get to know you?" And then you ...
Posted by Bobby Ridiculous on Fri, 03 Nov 2006 02:56:00 PST

Possibly my best Bulletin ever... blogged for posterity.

Ladies and Gentlemen, I present to you the most asinine, pointless shit I've ever seen posted on myspace as a bulletin (hundreds of times.)"No offense but... People are getting too fake on here.They o...
Posted by Bobby Ridiculous on Fri, 08 Sep 2006 06:28:00 PST

Time to be a downer for a second

Now, I know I usually only use this who "blog" thing as an excuse to rag on people and things I don't like. In fact, I kind of prefer when others do the same, as no one tends to give a good Goddamn wh...
Posted by Bobby Ridiculous on Sat, 15 Jul 2006 02:38:00 PST

Alright, you self-righteous veggie fucks asked for it...

Alright, I;ve heard about enough guilt-tripping from a bunch of shit-head straight-edgers who have a problem because people eat meat. These waifish little shits make claims like "meat makes you impote...
Posted by Bobby Ridiculous on Thu, 13 Oct 2005 03:51:00 PST

Happy Subjugation Day!

For those of you who aren't in school, it's Columbus Day tiommorrow. I know, it snuck up on me too. This is the day that we celebratea guy who got soooo fucking lost that he was supposed to end up goi...
Posted by Bobby Ridiculous on Sun, 09 Oct 2005 02:08:00 PST

Word droppings

I just noticed that my blog (God dammit, I hate that word) has subscribers. To most, it's no big deal, but I must say I was taken aback. See, to me, someone subscribing to your blog is like them ...
Posted by Bobby Ridiculous on Mon, 03 Oct 2005 08:10:00 PST