toot. profile picture

toot.

We kiss on the mouth but still cough down our sleeves.

About Me


Listen up people!
- You do not piss excellence.
- You aren't that big of a deal around here.
- You really don't need more cowbell and trust me, it doesn't cure anything. Especially AIDS, which is what I hope you contract.
- You don't really love lamp.
- And you can stop quoting "Borat" anytime now. I know that "niiiiice!" is the new "Yeah Baby!" (Austin Powers). . . but please, give it a rest.
This is me, unabashed and uninhibited. I'm the most insecure megalomanical motherfucker you'll ever meet. A legend in my spare time and a loser everyday. As capricious as they come, as dedicated as they get. The most empathetic listener during the day, the most judgmental by night. The epitome of the DGF style, yet determined to be a revolutionary. I'm a walking contradiction in every way possible and I wouldn't change it for the world.
"I hate to advocate drugs, alcohol, violence or insanity to anyone. . . but they've always worked for me."
-Hunter S. Thompson
And once and for all, " you my only friend.":(
I KNOW YOU'RE FUCKING SOMEONE ELSE
So we carried all the groceries in while hauling out the trash
And if this doesn't make us motionless I do not know what can.
So just say, "what a rotten thing to say, such an awful thing to say."
I didn't mean to bite you so really,
I always did what I always did what I always had to sling. So let it drop.
Let it all drop.
Let
it
all
fall
off.
oh man dude.

My Interests

George S. Patton

I'd like to meet:

Girls who are boys who like boys to be girls who do boys like they're girls who do girls like they're boys!

Music:

is vibrations that sound good to the ear and keeps you entertained. In theory.

Movies:

are moving pictures that keep you entertained. In theory.

Television:

is something you watch and it keeps you entertained. In theory.

Carlos Mencia of course!

De-de-de!

Books:

are full of squiggly lines and facts. I'm more of an opinion guy. I shoot from the gut. Did you know your gut has more nerve endings than your brain? Now, I know some of you are saying to yourselves, "that's not true." Well, you're saying that because you probably read that in a book somewhere. You should've read that book with your gut.

Heroes:

are people who have influenced and inspired you. In theory.

Still the most Metal show on television.

My Blog

Girlfriend Application. . . don't do it!

It was a joke and not one bit reflective of my own personality other than my warped sense of humor, sarcasm and the need to poke fun of myspace culture.  If you're that bored fill out a surv...
Posted by toot. on Wed, 27 Sep 2006 01:23:00 PST

Girlfriend Application. . . do it!

Would you cook me dinner? (if no, stop here) Do you do anal? If our first date was Burger King would you at least give me a hand job? Would you get mad if I slapped you in the eye because you walked i...
Posted by toot. on Fri, 22 Sep 2006 12:17:00 PST