I edited my profile with Thomas Myspace Editor V4.4 (www.strikefile.com/myspace)
Kids, looks away now because there's going to be some rude words.... Unless you've got Tourettes, in which case you're probably used to it.
If you happen to be any of the following people, don't bother trying to add me. Probably because i think you're a dick.
Happy Slappers. Honestly, i can't really let myself go into some big rant about these gutless, spineless people because i can actually feel my blood boiling as i'm typing this out. All i can say is, i sincerly hope that your Mother or Grandmother is walking through a park one day and then someone does to them, what you do to others. I also wish for the day when you see your 'Victim' walking down the street, punch him in the face for no reason, and then after he's beaten you within an inch of your pointless little life...you find out he's reigning UFC champion. The fact that you film yourself committing a serious crime, would indicate that you're not exactly the brightest pixie in the forrest!
Scenesters/Weekend Rockstars. Stone me, you all strut around like you're God's answer to Rock N Roll but the truth of it is you didn't even know what a guitar looked like until you saw Busted on CD:UK!!! A year ago you was all bowling around Jumpin' Jaks with your Justin 'Timberfake' hair-do's, your aviator shades, your American college T-shirts, your little sweat bands around your forarms and worst of all, your arses hanging out of your baggy ras-clart jeans for all the world to see!!! Now you're all about being the biggest 'Razorlib' out of you and your plastic mates! "No, Pete Docherty's cooler the Johnny Borrell...that's why i went out and got these Rosery beads from Topshop...and i'm more retro than you cos my Dunlop Greenflash are dirtier than yours!" Fuck off and go back to listening to your Now 54 album you bunch of Lemmings
People who stick up for Chavs by saying "Aw, leave the poor Chavs alone, they're not doing any harm" Right, when i was 15 and me and my mates were getting chased or punched by a bunch of them every weekend, i didn't see anyone sticking up for us saying "Aw, leave the poor little greebow kids alone. It's not their fault they listen to Metallica" As the old saying goes... 'What goes around, comes around' Except we never went around on really noisey mopeds!
Child Actors. What's the matter with you? Do you not get enough attention from your parents or something? Instead of just being like normal kids and playing football or computer games at the weekends, you've got show everyone how 'talented' you are by appearing in some hammy, camp, tits-and-teeth musical wear you battle it out with even more attention-seeking brats in front of your pushy parents who are only there in the front row to make sure that the £4000 a year they're spending sending you to a performing arts school will hopefully, one day get you a part in some shitty advert for Frosties. "I do Tap, Ballet and Modern dance during the week and then every other day i have vocal coaching". Go and get a fucking paper round or something!
Radio 1. If i wanted to listen to the same some 49 times in one day, i'd go and buy the fucking CD.
Danny Dyer. A real Cockney geezer...no, just a real cock!! Go and jump off a cliff and whilst you're there, take that Essex Boy dickhead from E4 Dave Berry with you
Drivers that don't say 'Thanks' when you let them through in traffic. HOW HARD IS IT TO WAVE WITH ONE HAND AND STEER THE CAR WITH THE OTHER???! ...People like you should take the bus!
George W. Bush. ...Actually, please DO try and add me, you need all the friends you can get.
Trisha 'The Anti-Christ' Goddard. I swear this woman just got her own show to try and make herself look important. It doesn't matter how bad her guests/Chavs 'problems' are, she's always had it ten times worse. "So you've had a miscarridge? ...yeah, i've had ten, so i know what it's like" Then she looks to her 'fans' (who are actually just a bunch of media students on a free day out) and preaches to them saying how great she is and with a big smug, self-satisfied grin on her face she gives them a raised eyebrow which is the signal for them to clap.
Tim Westwood. Oh my days, what is going on in this mans mind? You poor deluded soul.
Anyone who's appeared in adverts for home insurence or loans. "I borrowed up to £25,000" ...Good, go and get yourself some fucking acting lessons! Phil Tufnell, i've lost all respect for you now
Anyone who's appeared in a compensation advert. If you're that stressed out about it, how comes you was alright when you reconstructed your accident?
Pete Docherty. If you spent more time doing what you're good at like writing amazing lyrics, and less time being a dickhead and playing up to the media, you'd get alot more respect from everyone. Now go and wash your hands
Nikki from Big Brother. You wanna sort your fucking head out love! I officially crown you 'Most Annoying Person Of 2006'...and you look like Dorian from 'Birds of a Feather'.(EDIT) Stick Charley on the list as well
People that celebrate Christmas, but for all the wrong reasons. Now i'll be the first to admit that i haven't exactly booked my seat in Heaven, and if you wanna spend every Sunday morning sitting in a church singing your heart out about some bloke you've never met, then that's fine with me...whatever floats your boat cos you've actually got the right to get into the festive spirit. But there's nothing more patronising than when you go out during the Christmas period, and you bump into some bloke that you went to school with and the first thing he says is "Hello mate, how you doing?...let me buy you a drink, it's Christmas" Even if you've got a full pint in your hand, they still insist because "It's Christmas". WE HAVEN'T SEEN EACH OTHER SINCE WE LEFT SCHOOL 10 YEARS AGO, AND WE NEVER SPOKE TO EACH OTHER BACK THEN!!! You're not in a good mood cos it's Christmas, you're just in a good mood cos a) You've got 3 weeks off work and b) Your Mummy and Daddy have bought you that Atari Lynx that you've wanted since you were 7 years old (Which probably made those money-grabbing wankers down at Argos very happy) Don't pretend to be 'Christian of The Year', if you were that bothered about it then you'd be at Midnight Mass instead of down the pub!!!!
People who take their young kids down the pub. Now i'm not talking about places like Beefeater Inns or Family pubs where they have 'Non Smoking Areas' and even 'Non Swearing Areas'....that's fine. I'm talking about pubs where the parents are inside getting pissed out of their skag-ridden faces whilst their kids are playing outside in a gravel car park, chopping up dog shit with a broken pint glass. WHY DON'T YOU TAKE YOUR POOR, LONELY KIDS HOME AND APOLOGISE FOR THE UNFORTUNATE FACT THAT YOU'RE THEIR PARENTS!!!
Anyone else though, feel free to give us a shout.
