Mr. Bojangles

Aight so y'all wanna been getin at me fo tha longest time bout me and what I gotta say. So Ima gonna give it to yas. What ya bout to read is all me; raw, uncut and uncensored, so what dat means is if you already got a problem wit me, or get easily offended on what people gotta say, you betta stop readin cuz everything after dis is gonna be rated "Hard Shit”....So dont be gettin at me talkin shit bout this cuz two things are gonna happen. ONE-I already warned ya ignorant ass bout dis shit, and TWO (which is more important) I dont EVEN give a flyin fuck bout what you think cuz tha truth of tha matta is....simple! Women love me, and niggas wanna be me. Enough said on dat shit. Yeah I know its cockiness, but you know a woman loves a man with swagga. If you think Im wrong, shit man, you jus dont know yet son. But ya see what tha trick is, you gotta have balance to tha the damn thang! You gotta be a dick with confidence, but soft enough to be a pussy, when ya woman or a honey you tryin to get at is around. Women feed off of dat emotional shit, so niggas, show sum emotions every now and den, BUT at tha right time. Cuz if you do dat shit at the wrong time, (laughing) den ya ass is fuckin soft! Den all ya game is fucked up cuz dat girl you did ONCE have is tellin ALL her girlfriends’ bout you. So watch it playa. You have been warned. Next, we are gonna talk bout me. Why, cuz shit, dis my mothafuckin page and tha damn section is titled "About Me" so...let's play a game, let's pretend for a second you don't know who I am or what I do, let's just put it to the side while you read on bout me and who tha fucks Im all about.Talkin bout me fo a lil bit... So where else do I start other than with myself, I’ll hit u wit a quick lil background bout me. I was born on Aug. 20, 1982 weighin in at a nice 8 lbs 7 ozs. And most of dat was my head.I was just under two feet tall, so a nigga was already a big lil nig! I moved from Rocky Mount, North Carolina to Phoenix where I have been here ever since. Im the only child, so yeah I was spoiled like no other but, I was humble about it. (I think) I was a shy kid, still wit the big head, and once people got to know me and once I warmed up to them I was a kid that was full of energy. I never know how to talk to girls that I liked and would always choke under pressure. I had sum big crushes back in elementary all the way to high school, and should I say who they were, sure why not, Amy K, Starr H, Marcy B, Cheryle L. Those women were tha ones I had a big thang for…And b4 I move on I jus gotta say that the worst thing I probably did and this will tell you how bad I was bout talkin to girls I had a big ass crush on, I wanted to go to tha 8th grade dance with Starr. I think I asked her, but I may have not since I was a chicken shit...but anyway, we were suppose to met at DF for the dance. I got ready and my pops took me to school, I got out of the truck and started to walk towards tha cafeteria. I saw her from the window and then I jus froze, I couldnt move. I was so scared that I jumped back in the truck and I told my dad to take me home. Starr Im so sorry for standin you up like dat wit my lame ass. U was my angel n 8th grade and you neva knew that cuz I was too much of a girl to even say anything to you. Man tha things we will always remember...Well, when I was in high school, all that mattered was friends and sports. I didn’t know how to talk to women and when I did it was sort of goofy and immature. I didn’t drink or really party at all. My weekends pretty much consisted of hangin out wit friends like goin to tha movies or chillin at sumones crib. Then after I graduated Greenway, sumthin happened, I started hangin out wit niggas, and clubbin and drankin…den when I went to ASU, I LOST MY DAMN MIND!!! ASU main is a place I like to call heaven. If I was single my first year there, I would have tired and plucked every single white honey dere, and don’t even get me started on tha parties….Man, I would be at a house party ayyo and I know I probably sound corny, but I had oatmeal hormones ma, I got instantly horny...It was wild but a nig was good. Now, y’all you peoples can find me out and livin life fo a lil bit longer until I get LOCKED DOWN!! Man I love tha ladies!WOMEN Aight so now I gotta talk bout tha ladies. First and foremost I gotta do a mothafuckin roll call so listen up. To all the ladies, nubian queens, black princesses, african godesses, choir girls, young girls, models, skeezers, bitches, hoes, players, dikes, divas, house wives, gold diggers, sex chasers, cum guzzlers, chicken heads, crack heads, baller bitches, shake dancers, and boosters. All all needs to pay attention and reads what I gots ta say. I gotta get dis out, cuz I know how ladies and dere emotions get and shit. I love tha women! And ladies I realize y’all gotta be so tough simply cuz y’all go through so much and sumtimes we don’t recognize that like we should. And men, plez respect dez women, but ONLY on how they wanna be treated. If she actin like a hoe or slut, den treat her ass jus like dat shit, if ya girl is actin like wifey, you might wanna lock dat up real quick, and if she actin foul, well den fuck her over and DONT feel bad fo doin whatever you did to her azz! Yeah so movin on, dis next part fellas is fo da women dat are special like, wifey or ya girl. Sumtimes fools, we gotta do sum things to make a girl feel important, valued, and jus flat out extraordinary. Everyone loves to feel wanted, so show sum fuckin love ta ya girl b4 I cum by and pick her up from ya...lol But naw, fo reals do sumthin...for example, if you want to try and set tha mood fo ya lady. Fix up ya crib with da lights, misic, and flowers all ova tha place (ground, tub, bed, etc.) Use what ya got to YOUR advantage. The only thing that should be on your mind is her and nothing else. Its OUR night and NOTHING will disturb tha nite. Tell her not to be scared cuz you not gonna hurt her. You wanna do all the things for her that she'll be able to handle from you and you gonna make her feel real good. Now fellas, once it seems like shes ready, smell her erotic perfume, then step into your bedroom. Now pay close attention....love her everlastingly. Make her body your playground by lickin her up and down. She'll feel exactly like a woman should feel. However, I gotta talk bout tha other side cuz, this seems to happen a lot more than a lil bit. Women always talk bout how they want a good man who will do everything or jus bout everything for them and jus treat them with the most respect...well I have no problem with that, but what I dont understand is how when a man cums @ a woman he likes and she is feelin him and vice versa...everything is goin jus fine then all of a sudden her feelins are getin heavy 4 tha guy and she is scared bout getin hurt...well ok I understand that BUT WHAT I DONT GET is why do women completely STOP COMMUNICATION with tha dude...she jus falls off tha face of tha earth. And then she leaves tha guy completely hangin without even sayin whats up...I thought females were tha ones that love to talk things ova. Ladies, what is really goin on here. And I know not all women are like dis, but I need a females point of view on dis. This shit has been happenin a lil too much this year. Needs ya input on da real! Oh add my last lil point on women is FELLAS, READ THIS REAL CLOSELY. I know Im hear this from women and will probably make sum mad, but Ima say it anyway…EVERY GIRL IS A SLUT IN THA BEDROOM!!! Now WAIT, what I mean by this is when tha doors are closed, she will be the nastiest, freakiest, wildest, kinkiness, pornographic women IF u cum correct and get her in tha mood. Now, let me repeat this again, Im not sayin that all women are sluts like she bragin two, three, four, five dudes at once….all Im sayin is that every women is freaky and wants to get freaky (basically lettin go), but she wont unless her MAN brings it out in her. So fellas, if you want ya lady to be more vocal, physical, passionate, or whatever u in to, man up and reinsure her it’s ok to let loose for daddy! I don’t care if she’s black, white, Asian, Mexican, native, morom, christain, jew, catholic, or even a fuckin paraplegic, take her ass out of tha wheelchair and tell her we bout to be rollin up and down dis fuckin floo! Jus remember, no matter what kind of woman you got, she has been yearnin to be a YOUR porn star in da bedroom! But if all dat was a lil too complicated fo you or tha ladies, here are only 3 rules in this game for tha ladies ta know: 1)Keep your nappy-ass hair done, 2)Do your motha fuckin sit-ups, and 3)Whenever you lay on your back, make sure dat ass is UP!FEELINGS I keep talkin bout this one word, but always advoiding it, but now I cant avoid it anymore. Feelings and emotions. Damn, what can I say bout dis. Believe it or not ladies men got feelins and emotions too...and when a guy finds dat RIGHT one...he will DO ANYTHING AND EVERYTHING ta make her happy. Love has a way to make you feel like you are on a different planet as if life itself isnt real, but on da flip side, a broken heart cuz of love is different real different shit. I honestly believe a man aint really a man UNTIL a woman breaks ya fuckin heart! If you can ova cum dat shit jack, den you are a MAN! Cuz dat shit will either kill you or make you stronga. I remember when I got my heart broken and all I can say is DAMN! (Im gonna be a bitch fo a hot sec, but dat shit had me all twisted and fucked up n da head. She was my world and I couldnt figure out what to do.) But you know what, Im still here so that shit didnt kill me, it made me stronger. But you know what tha funny thing is...when u get hurt one, two, three, etc. times, u start to have a shield ova ya heart cuz you dont want to expericnce that horrible feeling again...I know cuz I still do that shit as we speak right now...its a protective mechanism. I releaize with this protective shield I have has its pros and cons like everything else. The biggest pro of it, is tha fact that you wont let no one close to your heart. You’ll hurt them b4 they hurt you. HOWEVER, tha worst part of it all is when a woman comes into your life that you weren’t expecting and doest everything a woman could possible do for a man, and yet he keeps his guard but in fear of the unknown. She assures him that she wont ever hurt him, all he has to do is trust her…and yet he couldnt neva honestly do it. He breaks up sumthing he knows was good, but he does it anyway out of fear and irrational thinking. He goes on durin tha summer and does his thing havin fun, wild n’ out, but always thinks bout what shes doin. He meets a girl through a friend, and things are goin great, but things turn for tha worse, a few months later cuz of timing but the funny thing is I had those feelings creepin up for this girl. Feelins that would have turned into sumtin more maybe like tha girl I first loved. We didn’t talk for over a month and that crushed me, once again I was hurt and was mad because it was a feelin I didn’t want to experience again….so time goes on then the girl and I turn out to be good friends without things bein weird or anything. Its kinda of weird how it all took place, but she’s a great person. Then after that girl came another girl from ASU main, and I was feelin her and we started talking but that jus developed too fast too soon and we had to back out of that. Now, here I am single, but not sure what Im suppose to do. I wish I had a map to love to me know where Im suppose to go, and I know this is sum gay shit, but I don’t give a fuck…my problem is I gotta let my shield down so I don’t push a woman away b4 she even knows whats goin on. There has been women out there that have wanted to be in a relationship but, I knew it wasn’t for me, and there have been women out there that I have wanted tha same. Everything happens for a reason, but you know what, I got my eyes open and who knows, I may have already met my soul mate. Getin to the point I was originally tryin to say was, I have been listenin to Lyfe and sat nigga talks bout feelings and you know. He knows what he’s talking bout, sumtimes I feel tha same way. “I can't see you being with no one else but me, baby I can't even stand thinking bout you touching another man.”DEATH I don’t even know why I am writin bout this cuz lets keep it real….who likes to think about death or read bout death….o I know….crazy people! Anyway I don’t know what to really say bout this other than when I was younger, I used to be completely terrified of death and I would be losin sleep ova dat shit…and after I have grown up a lil I think why I was so damn terrified was cuz it seemed like everyone around me dyin. Losin a love one or a close friend is the worse feelin a human could possibly feel. Our time on this earth is short, so everyone needs ta live ya life to tha mothafuckin fullest and count all your blessins. Because NOBODY is promised tomorrow…and b4 I close on this cuz I don’t really want to talk bout this subject anymo I gotta pay my respect to a few fellow individuals…Josh S. I miss kid and I cant believe its been like four years since you left us man. I know you lookin down on ya fam and watchin ova dem. I wish u were still here man, because you had an amazing gift with music and I can still see ya smile man. Sgt. Tyler P. There aint nutin I can say other than jus disbelief. I still cant grasp tha fact that you have gone to a better place. Thank you for fighting for our country and even that is not enough to say what you gave up for you country. U sacrifice the greastest gift a man could give and that was his own life….I dont even know what else to say. Mr. Lenny (exhales) ok so, u and I only had the chance to share bout a year together b4 you lost your battle with cancer…and I find myself thinking bout how things could have been when you and I went huntin and you showin me tha ropes of hunting. I neva hunted b4 but Im sure if you and I ever did get tha chance to go together, im sure it would have been a blast. I think the most amazing thing about you was the dry sense of humor. U always looked so serious but, u would say tha funniest things and sumtimes I had to look at the girls to figure out if it was ok ta laugh. I want to quickly talk about those four women and how hard its been on them and I jus know a glimpse, but those women are so strong. I don’t know who they do it, but Mel is jus unbelievable. She is a strong lil chick. I know your girls miss you so much and I miss ya too Mr. Lenny. Keep givin ya girls strength everyday. Coach Jones, I wont ever knowledge this….I refuse to and if I stop and think about it, I seriously get emotional with anger, sadness, regret, helplessness, etc. The biggest question like anyone that was taken early was, “WHY?” That’s one thing we humans don’t understand and wont ever understand im afraid. Good people taken from this world early is wrong, but I know God has all answers and knows best, but sumtimes I jus don’t know…I wish I would have done so many things different, but you know, why does it have to be when you lose sumone, u wish you could be around them jus a lil longer. Why cant we be like that all the time. The eight years I ran track, the best two years I have ever had was with you at Phoenix College. I will always cherish those times. Thanks for givin me the opportunity to be apart of that team. It was an honor and blessin to be around you and everyone from the coaches, trainers, and teammates. I miss you all very much from tha bottom of my heart. R.I.P. Tha importance of my friends and family is real simple. I don’t even need ot write a damn book on this. Everyone knows how important friends and family are cuz you only get one family member and though they may be crazy as hell, that’s what family is all about. And friends come and go, true friends stay forever no matter how far you live apart. If you can try and eliminate dem people dat are no good in yo life. Have people that bring sumtin to tha table. Not ta bring ya down or have all tha drama in their life and tryin to share it with you. I have taken a new method in life, and that’s to be honest now with peoples, even if it hurts, say it cuz they needs to know. And don’t let lil shit bother you anymore. Who gives a fuck! Whatever…you were fine b4 you meet them and you’ll sure ass hell be fine without dere ass! Jus love tha people that need to be loved and hate tha people tha need to be hated on.Speacial note to the Phoenix
College Track Team from 2001-2003 ...You all know who you are...I ran track for eight years and in my eight years running, I had tha BEST time EVER running at PC. Its hard to explain a lil but, that group of people: Ant, Aaran, Baby J, Nolan, Terrick, Eduardo, Gracia, Chris, Jorge, Sue, Stacia, Lenee, Janette, and Gernell, we were a very small sprintin group, but I think I can speck for all of us and can honestly say that those were good times that I will neva forget. I remember back from day one, when I thought I wasnt gonna be able to fit in cuz most of dem ran track a lot longer than I did and all of them were from a 5A school, but you know. I did fit in, and got bagged on, but dats what we did. My best memories of PC are, Ant and Stacia's constantly agruements @ practice, Coach Hale wearin a foot brace and Baby J takin a trash can and putin it on his foot and Aaron laughin hard, Chris bein noticed as tha oldest freshman ever to attend PC by A.O. and Aaron, me tellin Baby J that I was always faster than him in tha 200m, but he would catch me at the very end, Me and Jorge getin into bad after A.O. and Aaron beatin us in ball, tha girls always complaining to coach bout how they didnt want to run tha 4 by 4 relay at tha meet, Brandy...(enough said on that), Coach famous words "Lets get it", playin bones b4 and after practice, Ryan's annoyin sayin after he won a game in two days "Game time fellas", Coach throwin is stop watch in da air after we werent cutin tha times, A.O. and all his Rondaz, everyone feelin like shit after practice, and so on. Im sure there are sum mo good ones that I didnt get or didnt see, but anyways those were my best years, not because I did well, jus tha group of people I was always around. We were a small group, but damn, we sure was a handful of a group!!!