King Donko profile picture

King Donko

I am here for Friends

About Me

.... I gave Mona Lisa that smile.......I am a dynamic figure, often seen scaling walls and crushing ice. I have been known to remodel train stations on my lunch breaks, making them more efficient in the area of heat retention. I translate ethnic slurs for Cuban refugees, I write award-winning operas, I manage time efficiently. Occasionally, I tread water for three days in a row.I can pilot bicycles up severe inclines with unflagging speed, and I cook Thirty-Minute Brownies in twenty minutes.Using only a hoe and a large glass of water, I once single-handedly defended a small village in the Amazon Basin from a horde of ferocious army ants. I was scouted by the Mets, I am the subject of numerous documentaries. When I'm bored, I build large suspension bridges in my yard. I enjoy urban hang gliding. On Wednesdays, after school, I repair electrical appliances free of charge.I don't perspire. I am a private citizen, yet I receive fan mail. I have been caller number nine and have won the weekend passes. Last summer, I toured New Jersey with a traveling centrifugal-force demonstration. I bat .400. Children trust me.I can hurl tennis rackets at small moving objects with deadly accuracy. I once read Paradise Lost, Moby Dick, and David Copperfield in one day and still had time to refurbish an entire dining room that evening. I know the exact location of every food item in the supermarket. I have performed several covert operations for the CIA. I sleep once a week; when I do sleep, I sleep in a chair. While on vacation in Canada, I successfully negotiated with a group of terrorists who had seized a small bakery. The laws of physics do not apply to me.I balance, I weave, I dodge, I frolic, and my bills are all paid. On weekends, to let off steam, I participate in full-contact origami. Years ago, I discovered the meaning of life but forgot to write it down. I have made extraordinary four course meals using only a chicken and a toaster oven. I breed prizewinning clams. I have won bullfights in San Juan, cliff-diving competitions in Sri Lanka, and spelling bees at the Kremlin. I have played Hamlet, I have performed open-heart surgery, and I have spoken with Elvis.
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My Interests

= Comedy, Fatsmacking, Poker, BEER PONG, getting boozed up, being a jerk, Cleveland Steamers, Bitches, Babes, chicks, ladies, and long walks on the beach naked ( and by beach I mean watching porn [ by porn I mean peeping out my window at strangers { by peeping out my window at strangers I mean crying in the corner in the fedal postion} ] )

I'd like to meet:

Iron Maiden (of course), Erik Estrada, Ricardo Montalban, John Stamos, Nikola Tesla, Brian Pumper, Phil Hellmuth, and your second Aunt twice removed..................................................... ....................................... join my fan club!!! There is wicked funny stuff in there. Group URL: http://groups.myspace.com/MarkBfanclub also join the Bert is Evil group. I have pics showing the evils of Bert from Sesame Street. Please add comments to both groups. Group URL: http://groups.myspace.com/BertisEvil

Music:

Iron Maiden, Iron Maiden, Iron Maiden, los Iron Maidos, das Iron Maiden, lets see Iron Maiden, iron maiden, Hammerfall, Iron Maiden, King Diamond, Iron Maiden, GWAR, IRON MAIDEN, and that band that Jesus, Budda, Allah, and Zeus were in I think it was Iron Maiden.
M SUPER AMAZING (sexy)
A Funny (sexy)
R Awesome (sexy)
K Fantastic (sexy)
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From Go-Quiz.comi like.....death metal , thrash metal , black metal , gore metal , grind metal , punk metal , power metal , symphonic metal , speed metal , classic metal , nu-metal , industrial metal , blackened death metal , retro-thrash metal , christian metal , amish metal , satanic metal , melodic metal , stoner metal , sludge metal , progressive metal , doom metal , psychedelic metal , 80's metal , alternative metal , New Wave of British Heavy Metal metal , New Wave of Swedish Death Metal metal , darkwave metal , techno metal , ambient metal , Aluminum metal , Glam metal , Space metal , porno metal , goth metal , math metal , advanced algebra/trigonometry metal , southern metal , northern metal , egyptian metal , emo metal , role-playing metal , barnyard metal , tribal metal , noise metal , car-wash metal , route 666 metal , route 667 metal , route 777 metal , phone metal , demonic sacrificial metal , disco metal , trailer park metal , murder metal , destructo metal , glacier metal , fruit of the loom metal , cereal metal , platypus metal , indian metal , gymnastic metal , stalactite metal , stalagmite metal , swedish chef metal , medical metal (with an optional dental plan) , clown metal , surfer metal , cobra la la la metal , lobster metal , vitamin enriched metal , lactose intolerant metal , laundromat metal , japanese metal , fava beans metal , country metal , honky-tonk metal , gerbil metal , ZOD metal , buddhist metal , quaker metal , rechargeable metal , gospel metal , hopscotch metal , candyland metal , hungry hungry hippos metal , crystal pepsi metal , bluegrass metal , viking metal , E=mc² metal , funeral doom metal , slippery when wet metal , sugar-free metal , pork, the other white metal
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Movies:

Ass Blaster volumes 1-18
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Television:

The Look for Less on the Style network(((((((my AIM screen name is MarkB915)))))))

Books:

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA I don't read. How about the book Reading is for flaming homos. I'm currently reading The Fantastic Inventions of Nikola Tesla (from The Lost Science Series)

Heroes:

Everybody from Iron Maiden, Nikola Tesla, Phil Hellmuth, ME, Buster McThunderstick, The guy who invented the Cleveland Steamer, Batman, Jimmy Buffet, Eddie ( the dog from Frazier), Everybody that is on the Spanish Channel, Alvin from the Chipmunks (fuck Simon), Glen Quagmire, Quiggly from Quiggly down under, and Alaskan Hookers.
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My Blog

I intend to live forever. So far, so good.

NEWS Wow today I have been a total bum...  Why??? Well today i have done nothing but watch MTV...  Which i normally hate evrything on MTV except NEXT of course...  I have been watching ...
Posted by King Donko on Mon, 08 Jan 2007 05:08:00 PST

I'm moving to Mars next week, so if you have any boxes...

JOKES Q: Why is Santa so jolly??? A: Because he has alot of Ho's Q: why can't Santa have kids? A.Because he only cums once a year and it's down the cheminey. Q: Why is Santa's sack so big? A:  ...
Posted by King Donko on Wed, 06 Dec 2006 05:25:00 PST

Meat Sandwich!!!!!!!!!!!!!

JOKE A woman was walking down the street when she was approached by a man. The man said, "I must have you right now! I'll drop $500 on the ground at your feet and in the time it takes for you to pick ...
Posted by King Donko on Tue, 24 Oct 2006 05:49:00 PST

If at first you don`t succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.

JOKES Two recently divorced prospectors swore off women forever. They decided to move to Alaska, as far north as they could go. They entered a trading post and told the proprietor, "Give us enough su...
Posted by King Donko on Thu, 28 Sep 2006 08:32:00 PST

Flapjacks???

 jokes Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake whole relationships. Hockey is a sport for white men. Basketball is a sport for black men. Golf is a sport for white men dressed like...
Posted by King Donko on Thu, 21 Sep 2006 07:21:00 PST

Future Girlfriends apply inside (QUIZ)

Please answer these questions the best you can... 1)Do you think that the world is your playground? 2)How do you eat an oreo? 3)Do you think that pigs in a blanket are yummy like Keanu Reeves? 4)Do yo...
Posted by King Donko on Wed, 23 Aug 2006 02:20:00 PST

I'm a raver, can't you see. Do you wanna rave all night with me?

jokes A 75-year-old man went to his doctor's office to geta sperm count. The doctor gave the man a jar and said,"Take this jar home and bring back a sample tomorrow."The next day the 75-year-old man r...
Posted by King Donko on Tue, 08 Aug 2006 09:39:00 PST

Once, when i was in the woods...

I remember I was hammering on a fence in the backyard when Dad approached. He was carrying a letter or something in his hand, and he looked worried. I continued to hammer as he came toward me. "Son," ...
Posted by King Donko on Sun, 23 Jul 2006 04:12:00 PST

I like to reminisce with people I don't know.

 JOKES A penguin was driving through the desert when his car broke down. He waddled to the nearest phone to call AAA. His car was quickly towed to the nearest garage where the mechanic told him ...
Posted by King Donko on Wed, 28 Jun 2006 06:00:00 PST

I don't suffer from insanity. I enjoy every minute of it!!!

 jokes Two kids were having the standard argument about whose father could beat up whose father. One boy said, "My father is better than your father." The other kid said, "Well, my mother is ...
Posted by King Donko on Sun, 07 May 2006 04:29:00 PST