.............I'm just a down to earth, easygoing, easy to please person. Kind of low maintenance and simple also, but not simple-minded! Most people and my family see me as a "mountain girl" "country/farm" girl or "earth mother" type. I enjoy more of a simple life, I am more of a homebody, not a party type. I cut my fingernails and toenails short, I don't wear makeup, I've never dyed my hair, all my kids have, every color you can think of! Everyone in my family has lots of animals and loves them very much. I have two dogs and two cats at this time, some insane part of me would like more. They are underfoot all the time, but we can't live without them. When no one else is around or no one has time for you, or you're sad about something, my furry loves are always there with unconditional love. I also love being outdoors, nature, cooler weather, horses, riding. My idea of "fine dining" is being in the middle of a ranch, or in the middle of nowhere, with horse$#!& on myself, and everything is fine, and that is fine with me. I used to work with horses and ride a lot and I want to do that again. I like to take my dogs for long walks for miles, but it's kind of hot to do that, but at night it's not so bad. I am fascinated with the old west, old thriving towns and ghost towns, from the 1800's, the history of it all, the people who came before us. Ancient Egypt, the 14th Century, the early part of this century. I love nature, animals, birds, trees, dirt (real dirt, not house dust and stuff like that!). I've always said that I could live outside, or have a house where I could roll up the walls and live pretty much in the open. Sleeping where you can see the sky, the stars, and when there's a storm, see the lightning and clouds and hear the thunder and rain pounding. Kind of be a part of it. The reason for the walls rolling up is that when you really wanted to, you could roll them down again and just be "in". I believe in being childlike, but not childish and am still very much a little girl inside. I am just growing older under protest! I am trying hard not to do that, but I guess, in some way, it is inevitable. I don't think I will ever grow up and hope I don't.I'm pretty spiritually integrated and very open minded to the other side, I can't deny that after everything I have seen and been through for so many years in that regard...there IS MUCH MORE to this world (and otherworlds) than what appears to be to us, and what we think we see and know, so much more. I have also become rather cynical through the years. Oh,well..................................................... ............................................................ ............................................................ .............Once upon a time, there was a lovely young girl who knew her whole life was far and away ahead of her, the whole world was in her hands. She thought she found the love of her life, but eventually he went away. (Several times! : ( ) Then she did marry, but realized after so long, she couldn't live that way. She waited, a little lost for a while, then decided it was time to jump in the pond again. But she soon discovered it was the same old games, different faces, different people, but the same games, played the same way, just another time. So she bailed out, concentrated on raising her children, carved out a cubbyhole for them and herself in this blob of a bread dough world. What she didn't realize was that, as time passed, instead of carving out a space for herself, she had actually built a comforting, protective box to exist in, very soft and cozy on the inside, but very hard, thick and strong on the outside. This box sheltered her from any kind of hurt, but, at the same time, distanced her from any healing love she might have known. One day the realization of what had happened infringed itself upon her once closed mind. She slowly and surely became aware that if she continued in this manner, she would be on her way to becoming a bitter, cold, cynical, old woman, with a lonely number of years looming ahead of her. (A very long number of years!) Her fate would be a lonely old woman with no one but her furry loves to keep her company. It was no desire of hers to be alone. She had never, ever in her entire life lived alone. So she slowly, little by little, began chopping away at this sheltering, insulating box, knocking down each wall, a little at a time. And, as each wall started to come down, she noticed more and more sunshine spilling into her life. She discovered there was still the capacity in her disenchanted heart for love after all. She did not just jump in this time, but tested the waters, a toe at first, then a leg, eventually going all the way in. She sees it is still the same old games, different faces (a little older this time! Maybe a few wiser, too!), different people, but still the same games, played the same way, just another time. She realizes it will always be this way, that's the way life is, that's the way people are. But, this time, she is changing the way she reacts to the games, the way she deals with things, changing her approach. She will try not to be the soft, naive girl she used to be, will be stronger inside, trying to accept the good and the bad as a part of fully participating in life, the way it's meant to be lived....................................................... ............................................................ ..............................................
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