nikki. profile picture

nikki.

Hope will grab you, and once it does, it's impossible to escape it.

About Me

I am very passionate.
I am constantly learning.
I know how to pick myself up and dust myself off.
I like to take risks, no matter how badly I may be hurt.
I want to experience life to the fullest.
I don't really know who my true friends are.
I have a small fear lingering in the darkest part of my heart that I'll open myself up completely to somebody and they will break my heart into so many small pieces that I can't put it back together again.
However, somebody has come into my life who is slowly and carefully removing that fear.
I am learning how to truly love.
I think sometimes I'm only able to learn by making huge mistakes.
I love God as much as I know how.
I am very grateful for every single blessing. I wouldn't be able to live without them.
I'm learning to live life without inhibitions.
I want to be an activist.
Music is probably the biggest part of me, right after God.
I'm really not too sure what to make of this thing we call life.
I read a lot. I love to escape into another world where nothing is really my own, and yet I still feel everything.
I like to write. I'm slowly working on a couple different books.
I'm not very good at finishing things.
I'm also not very good at excelling at things.
I'm way too hard on myself.
It's pretty hard for me to completely trust people.
I will tell anybody anything, but I always have an armor of lead guarding me.
I love you.
Healing is better than medicine- You don't have to remember to do it everyday.

My Interests

Music, searching the heart of God, reading, drinking coffee, fashion, photography, promotion.

I'd like to meet:

Jesus.

A man who will love me more than I ever thought humanly possible, who will let me be me and embrace my crazy differences. A man who will see my quirks and love them, who will stand strong by me and with me, no matter how difficult or miniscule the situation. A man who will be a rock and who is strong enough and godly enough to lead our family. A man who knows to hold me when I have a breakdown, and knows that words aren't always necessary. A man who sees my strength but who doesn't always make me exercise it. A man who sees the future that God has for me and who encourages me in my creativity and career. A man who wants me to stay at home but who will let me work if I want to. A man who will hug me and give me a kiss every time I see him and every time we depart. A man who gives a perfect hug. A man who doesn't care what music I listen to. A man who is open-minded to try new things, but strong enough in his faith that he knows when to be stubborn. A man who will open doors, and pick up the tab, even though I don't expect him to. A man who will take me out to really nice places, even though I don't require them. A man who recognizes that I'm not high-maintenance, but that I do like to take care of myself. A man who will tell me that I look great when I dress up and when I'm just wearing a t-shirt and flip-flops (and mean it). A man who knows of nice things to say other than just "I love you." (Although I would like to hear that, too- but only when it's on his heart- not just when he can't come up with anything else to say.) A man who recognizes my value and that I'm royalty because I am God's daughter. A man who has a deep appreciation for music and who can appreciate art. A man who will challenge me in my beliefs to make me stronger. A man who is in pursuit of the heart of God. A man who can worship in any circumstance. A man who wants to share the love of God. A man who's passion I can see when I look in his eyes. A man with whom I can lay in the grass and stare at the sky and talk about God. A man who I can simply sit next to, each of us reading a different book, and have that be enough. And every now and then, when inspired, we would share something with each other that stood out in the book. He's out there somewhere.

Music:

Emery
Brand New
Manchester Orchestra
The Rocket Summer
Something Corporate
Counting Crows
Straylight Run
Chiodos

Movies:

Pretty in Pink
Crash
Fight Club
Happy Feet
Sixteen Candles
Breakfast Club
Waking Life

Television:

Early 90's reruns, anything on Style, and What Not to Wear.

Books:

The Things They Carried, A Million Little Pieces, My Friend Leonard, Prozac Nation, The Torn Skirt, Liner Notes, anything by Elizabeth Berg.

Heroes:



..
i crystal

My Blog

Yes We Can - Barack Obama Music Video

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jjXyqcx-mYY ...
Posted by nikki. on Fri, 09 May 2008 03:50:00 PST

tulips

General: perfect lover, frameRed tulip: believe me, declaration of loveYellow tulip: there's sunshine in your smile, hopeless loveAlso:The meaning of tulips is generally perfect love. Like many flower...
Posted by nikki. on Tue, 04 Mar 2008 02:40:00 PST

Don’t worry about me...

I feel like I should let you know after writing that last blog that no matter what is happening in my life, I am happy and I have peace. This is something incredibly valuable that God has taught me. D...
Posted by nikki. on Sat, 27 Oct 2007 09:55:00 PST

The mess I’ve created.

I must warn you, this blog may be a bit more unorganized and less profound or revealing than most. I haven't really thought this through... I just need to write.Let me just start by saying that I hate...
Posted by nikki. on Fri, 26 Oct 2007 09:34:00 PST

Oh, summer, youve come to your end again.

Another summer, gone. What is it about that season that is so significant? Everything about summer seems so nostalgic. Some years it carries freedom, others it brings love, and sometimes it has an air...
Posted by nikki. on Fri, 07 Sep 2007 12:00:00 PST

this was in my "about me" section for a while.

I am: A lover.Honest.A music junkie.Passionate.A believer.Ambitious.Open.Very girly.Royalty.Gifted.Fearless.Waiting.Trying to live right.A total screw-up.Covered by the blood of Jesus.Complete.Stereot...
Posted by nikki. on Wed, 20 Jun 2007 11:16:00 PST

i am abraham right now.

I'm going to a place that I don't knowI'm running to a place that I can't seeI'm trusting in you my LordSo I'll run fast and freeFaster fasterI must run fasterFarther fartherI must run fartherI'm runn...
Posted by nikki. on Fri, 18 May 2007 10:27:00 PST

I can't escape your ignorance

I'm not as strong as you think I amBut you keep pushing me to my very endI don't know how much longer I can take your desensitizationBefore it becomes my death's motivationI'm screaming out for you to...
Posted by nikki. on Mon, 30 Apr 2007 01:08:00 PST

I wish I could sleep and empty my mind.

I hate making big decisions. And I really hate it when I can't hear the voice of God clearly. I'm so confused and frustrated right now, and I'm hurt. I'm trying so hard not to be hurt, but I almost fe...
Posted by nikki. on Wed, 04 Apr 2007 09:13:00 PST

You have called me free

I am bleeding and bruisedCrawling toward YouWould You wrap me in Your armsAnd protect me from the world's harm?I have nothing but You My Father, my GodI have nothing but YouAnd You call me friendMy he...
Posted by nikki. on Thu, 01 Mar 2007 08:39:00 PST