10 Ways to Get Fired |
Whenever answering the phone, and its for your boss, say "He's under his desk screwing his secretary. Can I take a message?"
Strip off all your clothes. Complain about how hot it is in the office,...
Posted by Tidus on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST |
10 THINGS THAT SUCK ABOUT BEING A GUY |
1) You have to take out the garbage.
2) The Ferrari 550 Maranello lists for over $200,000.
3) No sofas in your restrooms.
4) External genitalia are vulnerable to knees and fastballs.
5...
Posted by Tidus on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST |
100 Great Reasons It's Great To Be A Guy |
1) Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.
2) Movie nudity is virtually always female.
3) You know stuff about tanks.
4) A 5 day vacation requires only one suitcase.
5) Monday...
Posted by Tidus on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST |
Top Ten Depressing Thoughts Your Dog Has |
10. "I haven''t felt as attractive since that doctor surgically removed my sex organs."
9. "Oh god, he''s going to make me chase that damn frisbee again."
8. "I''m 63 years old and my name is ...
Posted by Tidus on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST |
How to Tell If You're Addicted To E-mail |
1. You wake up at 3 am to go to the bathroom and stop to check your e-mail on the way back to bed.
2. You name your children Eudora, Aol and Dotcom.
3. You turn off your modem and get this awf...
Posted by Tidus on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST |
10 Signs That You've Had Too Much Of The 90's: |
1. You try to enter your password on the microwave.
2. You haven't played solitaire with real cards in years.
3. You have a list of 15 phone numbers to reach your family of 4.
4. You e-mai...
Posted by Tidus on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST |
How to impress her/him!!! |
HOW TO IMPRESS A WOMAN:
Compliment her,
cuddle her,
kiss her,
caress her,
love her,
stroke her,
tease her,
comfort her,
protect her,
hug her,
hold her,
spend money on her,
...
Posted by Tidus on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST |
Orgasm Types |
Sex in a boat = Oargasms
Sex with a nerd = Dorkgasms
Sex at the entrance to your house = Doorgasms
Sex on the carpet or linoleum = Floorgasms
Sex at the supermarket = Storegasms
Sex with wil...
Posted by Tidus on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST |
