Jones profile picture

Jones

I praise what is truly alive, And what longs to be burned to death- Goethe

About Me

I comprehend, profoundly, the ineffable horror that is April. And I don't photograph well.

My Interests

plate-throwing debates, shame (and lacks thereof), battle, grog, obsolete vernacular, balance, excessive use of punctuation, tribulation, trials, mysterious potions in tiny vials, bile, things Elizabethan, fuliginous humour, Earl Grey,hooligans and heathens,leather boots,winter, cold nights, knight errants, arrant knaves, the Queen of Spades, nicknames, patronyms, pangrams, thieves' cant, Fenya, being obnoxiously Russian, trying to reconcile the inverse proportionality of adorable and tall, activity specific architecture like wailing walls, beer halls, ginger beer, drinking songs, perfect pitch, defenestrations and other hilarious forms of revenge, Stonehenge, resenting morning people, chortling, learning to play a portable instrument, Gauls, Visigoths, dirt, rain, braids and knots,hating your verbal plumage, the heebie-jeebies, failing at being a grown-up, unexpected last lines, tautology

I'd like to meet:

People who have absolutely no interest in Just Being Liked. Others who truly fathom the ineffable horrors of April. The Lorax, Leroy Brown, Kit Marlowe, Thomas Hobbes, Dr. Who, Anna Akhmatova, Joan Jett and anyone else who fancies they know something about vitriol.

Music:

Bands that don't cause a boredom-coma. Also, Beethoven, balalaika, mid twentieth century blues, David Bowie, and several other things that either do or don't begin with the letter B.

Movies:

Cemetery Man and other movies that don't underestimate the importance of dirt and a well tailored white shirt. Also, movies where stuff blows up, and David Lynch.

Television:

I like the sci fi channel, pro wrestling, and cartoons. You can judge me. How's that going?

Books:

Anna Karenina, de Beauvoir's All Men are Mortal, A Good Scent from a Strange Mountain, National Geographic, One Day In the Life of Ivan Denisovitch, The Amber Room, The Salmon of Doubt, Leonard Cohen's Book of Longing, Stasis and the Body, Vegetarian cookbooks in general, Her Smoke Rose Up Forever, The Dangerous Book for Boys, World War Z, the plays of Tom Stoppard, The Man Who Was Thursday, Tycho & Kepler,and Vertigo's Fables series.

Heroes:

Baby penguins, J.K. Rowling, and people who clean up their own mess.

My Blog

Bilefun with Latin

Catapultam habeo. Nisi pecuniam omnem mihi dabis, ad caput tuum saxum immane mittamOR, I have a catapult. Give me all your money or I will fling an enormous rock at your head....
Posted by Jones on Fri, 05 Oct 2007 01:38:00 PST

Flog the Inventor of Personalized Spam

Good gods, just when i thought the interweb couldn't get any more creepy and omniscient, I've started getting spam from myself.  Seriously. I was cleaning out the Spam folder of my email account,...
Posted by Jones on Tue, 24 Jul 2007 02:47:00 PST

A Proposal up for Discussion

Here's a thought. What if I bogarted the idea of my friend, who bogarted the idea from our other friend, to write something, consistently, once a week for a year? And what if, right at the outset...
Posted by Jones on Sun, 03 Jun 2007 06:39:00 PST

Don't Use My Blog to Promote Yourself

An Open Letter to Jackass Blog Commentators Who Try to Use My Blog as a Way to Convince me To Buy CrapDear Jackass(es), While I am terribly flattered that you read my little pile of bile, please ...
Posted by Jones on Fri, 27 Apr 2007 07:20:00 PST

I'm Issuing an Un Shun

On the grounds that given what happened this Monday at Virginia Tech, all other bile and vitriol seems temporarily shabby in the face of recent atrocities. Seriously, humanity, what's wrong with us? ...
Posted by Jones on Wed, 18 Apr 2007 08:10:00 PST

Shun He Who Uses the P-Word

Seriously. Even in jest, it's only barely tolerable. In fact, let it be henceforth known, the only time it's ok to use the word "panties" at all anymore is if you have a morbid fascination in see...
Posted by Jones on Tue, 17 Apr 2007 11:49:00 PST

Whimsy Has Won. For Now

Changed my profile again. Here's what it was when angry was winning.  doing things with words, creating a profile under an alias so I can pretend to be a misanthropic recluse, consuming massiv...
Posted by Jones on Fri, 02 Feb 2007 02:47:00 PST

Revenge Part Two

   I began the history of Revenge a few entries back, but chose to leave it private, because Revenge Part One was so specifically catered to one individual I know I can't imagine it serving ...
Posted by Jones on Fri, 26 Jan 2007 11:16:00 PST

The Big Dick Club Earns My Wrath

Simply by being what they are. There's something almost beautiful in the total lack of artistry involved in being exactly what you say you are, especially when you manage to maintain honesty and a lac...
Posted by Jones on Fri, 19 Jan 2007 09:15:00 PST

Your sense of humour has turned to fallout!

Apparently, my pirate name would be :Azriel the Bitter.   I find this computer generated moniker apt.    That said,  the guy ( and I know it's a guy) who maintains the site which i...
Posted by Jones on Thu, 18 Jan 2007 10:44:00 PST